Mea Culpa: I have plagiarized from ALL candidates in both parties!!!

[hisownpetard]

In the interest of full disclosure, I am forced to come clean: I sadly admit that, in the space of just one day,
I have plagiarized from both presidential candidates on both sides!

This afternoon, I said to the cashier at TJMaxx, who mentioned that the store has been open a year now,
"Ya know, I have been coming here since DAY ONE."

Then I went to the supermarket and stood in line a long time while the cashier tried to put a new roll of paper in the cash register.
The man in back of me, tired of waiting, threw his quart of ice cream on the conveyor belt, and as he pushed past me to leave I angrily
said, "Why, the AUDACITY!"

So I went home, ready to put away my bundles, when the phone rang. It was a friend of mine, telling me that he's going on vacation
in Brazil and asking me how I liked it when I went. "Wow," I said, "I could have stayed there for A HUNDRED YEARS."

And then, as if I hadn't already done enough harm, I was trying to put a pot of soup in the refrigerator and my two puppies managed
to wriggle between my feet and I tripped, and the whole pot of soup fell and poured down my pants legs and into my shoes and I just
stood there in my striped blue and white shirt with the elbow patches and said, "JESUS CHRIST," over and over and over again.

[lapfog_1]

1. You forgot

that earlier in the day, when you bought two burgers, frys and a milkshake... you asked to see the reciept... and, to your shock, it was exactly $9.11, which you said something to the cashier... noun, verb, 9.11.

[hisownpetard]

3. I only addressed the two remaining candidates on both sides, but it would've been

fun to do them all...

[Tarc]

2. This is what the standard response to these idiotic topics will be

The excuse machine is going into overdrive now as the Obamaniacs adapt the Rovian "scream a lie loud enough..." defense. Look through the current topics now and you will see insipid just about Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence, Clinton's "It Takes a Village", and so on. The hope is that they can flood as much nonsense onto the airwaves as possible in order to drown out the original, and make it look nonsensical by comparison.

Which, unfortunately for those who can still see (and care about) the truth, it isn't nonsense at all.

[hisownpetard]

4. Am I missing something here? Does this sentence make sense?

"Look through the current topics now and you will see insipid just about Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence, Clinton's "It Takes a Village", and so on."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

5. "Clean your bowl"

The Zen student sought enlightenment. He approached the Zen master.

"Have you finished your meal?"

"Yes," the student replied.

"Then clean your bowl," the master replied.

RED.

You heard me, RED.

:toast:

[TomInTib]

6. "poured down my pants legs"?

Where do I sign up?

Good Molly, Ms 'petard...

You do have a way with words...

Your Secret Admirer...
T.

[TomInTib]

7. dupe

maybe I got too excited...

double-clicked....

I do that, sometimes.

[hisownpetard]

8. So do you...

:toast: