Jimmy Carter endorses himself: "I Got What America Needs Right Here"

[JVS]

"Sometimes I'm a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I'm wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. 'Cause, unless I'm missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you're gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in '08? Fat fucking chance.

Way I see it, America needs a president who's gonna somehow un-royally screw up the Middle East, do some serious cleaning up after you dropped your pants and took a steaming dump all over the fucking environment, and—boom!—restore dignity, honor, and all that shit to these United States.

See, I got solutions to all your problems—I got 'em right here in my big, hairy ballsack.

You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter's rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again , because there's no way I'm ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin' election. So you can just bite my cock. I've had it with you jerkoffs and your jerkoff candidates."

more
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_got_what_america_needs_right

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

1. kick. nt

[Kokonoe]

2. Don't shoot the massager

But Al Gore, that cum-sucking pig, steals the shit from me and now he's the greatest thing since Jesus Christ made a fucking sandwich.

[LizW]

3. Oh.

The Onion. I was mouth-open speechless for a second there.

[arendt]

4. No offense, but did you check recent postings before posting this? I posted this at 11 AM.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x4033123

[Kokonoe]

5. Thank you for the link, I think Jimmy Carter is on to the truth