You Can Shut Up Now - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Fri Sep-14-07 08:31 PM
Original message

You Can Shut Up Now

Yes, GOP, you can shut up now – nobody’s listening anymore. After six-plus years of applying lipstick to a succession of pigs, the incessant oinking is drowning out that once-legendary spin.

Let me share a few facts with you (and don’t be embarrassed to have to ask what that word means; your unfamiliarity with the concept is completely understandable).

Now, that right there is your basic problem. You see, you have to have some facts on which to base your talking points; otherwise, they start sounding like punchlines – and get pretty much the same response.

The American people are growing impatient with the war. No, the American people are totally out of patience with the lies they’ve been told by the C-in-C, whose oversight of this MISSION (*watch this space - scheduled to be defined any day now) has been a series of spectacular blunders that keep getting trotted out as successes.

Losing troops on a daily basis, civilian casualties on the uptick, increasing bloodshed = progress. Now, do you see how that doesn’t equate? Maybe you can get Karl Rove to explain it for you; after all, he’s the guy with the math, remember?

You’ve got to wonder where the American people got the notion that this war would last a matter of months, would pay for itself, and would result in the Iraqi people greeting us with sweets and flowers. I don’t know where that bullshit got started, but it kind led everyone to believe that this far down the road, the newly-liberated Iraqis would be better off than they were under a brutal dictator – or, at the very least, have enough electricity per day to read the fine print in the Iraqi Freedom handbook – you know, the part that states "Thanks to our occupation, you have NO freedom".

Those who want to cut-and-run are giving aid and comfort to the enemy. No, George’s total incompetence is giving aid and comfort to the enemy – and man-oh-man, they must be reveling in the absolute abundance of said aid and comfort.

If we leave Iraq now, the country will dissolve into violence and chaos. Ahem – don’t look now, but the country has already dissolved into violence and chaos. Everybody else knows that – why don’t you?

Abandoning Iraq will result in the enemy following us home. I just gotta believe that line was meant as a joke from day one. Everybody knows that this administration has made the country so safe, those terrorists would never get across the border – except that the border isn’t being guarded, because the money it would take to secure it is being spent in Iraq creating more terrorists. It’s kind of a “Catch-22” thing, and who doesn’t love that movie, huh?

Besides, the big question would be, “Where are the terrorists going to get the funds to travel here in the first place?” And the big answer is, “Maybe they wound up with the billions in cash that’s gone missin’ in the Fog of War.” That all worked out nicely, didn’t it?

For my money – and thanks to this booming economy, I don’t have much of it – I really don’t worry too much about terrorists showing up at the local mall. And if they did show up, all they’d have to do is scare the shoppers into heart attacks – because most of those shoppers don’t have health insurance, so they’d just wind up dying’ for lack of funds. No bombs or gunfire necessary.

Look, it’s obvious you’ve given up anyway. One quick gander at the Republican presidential hopefuls is a study in utter hopelessness. Giuliani, who spent more time at Ground Zero than anyone – well, in spirit anyway, and shouldn’t that count? Grandpa Thompson who thinks posting “Please Feel Free to Smoke” signs will lead to victory in Iraq, and Tom Tancredo, who believes that threatening to bomb Islamic holy sites will bring lasting peace to the Middle East.

You’re not even tryin’ here, folks. So why not pack in the ol’ talking points and save them for another day – say 2068, when the populace might well have forgotten the Bushbaby, Abramoff, Gonzales, Cunningham, Vitter, Foley, Craig, and the rest of the diaper-clad, bribe-taking, pedophiles and hypocrites.

If you can just keep your noses clean and not get caught up in any new scandals until then, you might have a – oh, sorry. Forgot who I was talking to for a minute there.

Well, anyway, good luck in 2068!