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Transcript: Don Imus, 1996 Radio/TV Correspondents Assoc. Dinner

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Bush_Eats_Beef Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 05:47 PM
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Transcript: Don Imus, 1996 Radio/TV Correspondents Assoc. Dinner
The following is the text of radio personality Don Imus' speech at the Radio/TV Correspondents Association Annual Dinner, Thursday, March 21, 1996.

Four excerpts, entire speech at the URL above. For our red state friends who think that this year's speech "crossed a line."

You know I think it would be fair to say, back when the Clintons first took office, if we had placed them all in a lineup -- well, not a lineup -- if we were to have speculated about which member of the First Family would be the first to be indicted... I don't mean indicted -- I meant to receive a subpoena -- everybody would have picked Roger. I mean, been there done that. Well, in the past 3 years, Socks the cat has been in more jams than Roger. Roger has been a saint. The cat has peed on national treasures. Roger hasn't. Socks has thrown up hairballs. Roger hasn't. Socks got his girlfriend pregnant and hasn't... oh no, that was Roger. And as you know, nearly every incident in the lives of the first family has been made worse by each and every person in this room of radio and television correspondents -- even innocuous incidents. For example, when Cal Ripkin broke Lou Gherig's consecutive game record, the President was at Camden Yards doin' play by play in the radio with John Miller. Bobby Bonilla hit a double, we all heard the President in his obvious excitement holler "Go Baby!" I remember commenting at the time, I bet that's not the first time he's said that. (Turns to President) Remember the Astroturf in the pickup? And my point is, there is an innocent event, made sinister by some creep in the media.

My favorite moment on World News Tonight was when Peter threw it to Cokie Roberts who we were told was standing outside the Capitol building, remember that when they chromo-keyed Cokie outside the Capitol. That happened during my friend Rick Kaplan's watch. Bill Clinton's worst media day, when Kaplan left as executive producer of World News Tonight because he'd humped the Clinton Administration harder than OJ has his video. The only thing he didn't do was run a crawl of the Clinton's defense fund 800 number with a shot of Sally Struthers sobbing into the camera. <laughter> By the way, I like Sally Struthers. And I think she's a sweet harmless soul doing God's work. But, if you're going to go on television and beg for food for starving children <laughter> shouldn't you maybe like eat a little less of it yourself? I mean, I don't think the plight of suffering children is amusing. I've personally raised millions of dollars for children with cancer, and millions of dollars for parents who've lost children through Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. But what are these people thinking about when they send her to a village in Ethiopia full of starving people? They might as well send the fat guy from Wendy's.

Meet the Press with the utterly charming and gregarious Tim Russert has brought a new sense of adventure and enthusiasm to Sunday morning television. Mr. Russert's unique and probing interrogation of guests is widely seen as bold and refreshing. Pawing off Bob Kerry's wooden leg was a special moment. Good natured, however, and patient to a fault, Tim is to be admired for enduring frequently insipid observations and questions from corespondents who for some inexplicable reason include the coma-inducing William Safire, the terminally tedious David Broder, and Elton John-look-a-like Mary McGrory <groans> Where did she get those glasses? By the way, Russert as many of you know came to television from the world of politics having once worked in New York for Senator Moynihan and Governor Cuomo. He was a fine aide whose duties included hiding the bottles for Pat and the bodies for Mario. <laughter>

And speaking of Congress, while Al D'Amato, Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond are mildly amusing as the Chairmen of various committees, I miss the Democrats that were in charge. Especially Joe Biden. And Joe Biden's head. Tracking the progress of his plug job was like watching time-lapse photography of a chia pet. <laughter> He was most entertaining, however, as a committee chairman conducting hearings because Senator Biden always looked to me like he was comin' on to the witnesses. Usually women. "So Anita, when this is all over, you want to have a drink?" And although he's disappeared, he hasn't as have 13 of his colleagues, actually quit. Of course there are those Democrats who are not only staying, but doing so with renewed vigor and enthusiasm, mostly by becoming Republicans, with several noble exceptions. John Kerry of Massachusetts among them. This now gives me the opportunity to express my regret at having referred to my friend, Senator Kerry upon his marriage to Theresa Heinz as the Larry Fortensky of the United States Senate. Which reminds me of poor old John Warner. The Senator marries Elizabeth Taylor, one of the most beautiful women in the world, and three weeks later, he comes home and she's sitting in the kitchen playing Deal A Meal with Richard Simmons. How do you get that fat, that fast, and not live in a trailer? And then he has to choose between Chuck Robb and Oliver North. I mean, what's the deal with his karma? But back to Senator Kerry. I also now recognize that it was irresponsible to suggest that he was a suspect in his own wife's unfortunate mugging. If the authorities thought it made sense that a senator from Massachusetts would be in Puerto Rico on a fund raising mission during the time of family crisis, it should have made sense to me as well. However, when I initially thought about it, it seemed only slightly more plausible than chipping golf balls at ten o'clock at night. But the senator and I are past that and in fact it has drawn us closer.
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Inland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. See Wolcott's discussion of Imus, Colbert
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Bush_Eats_Beef Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Thanks for the link...that was a pretty good analysis.
In terms of "Level of Satire Expertise," I'd say that Colbert was Lenny Bruce...leaning hard on the facts, shooting from the hip with no apologies...and Imus was Andrew "Dice" Clay, wearing out the Little Miss Muffett joke W-A-Y past the point of being worthy of a sympathy chuckle.

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acmejack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 05:54 PM
Response to Original message
2. Selective memory is a wonderful thing if you are permitted to
get away with it. It is abundantly clear that one can remain completely unchallenged if they have the proper party credentials. As they say, IOKIYAR!
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. don't you get it? Its ok to publicly skewer Clinton
The same Republican pundits who get offended and talk about the "culture of hate" coming from the left whenever we say we disapprove of Bush can still, to this day, be counted on to call our former president a rapist, a serial rapist, and a traitor.
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AX10 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
5. So it's o.k to mock Democrats, but "God Forbid" a Republican...
is skewered in public. :argh: It's always the same damn double standard. Republicans can literally get away with murder, but Democrats are persecuted for telling the TRUTH.
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NYCGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 06:45 PM
Response to Original message
6. The Clinton WH was pissed off. Mike McCurry called C-SPAN to get them to
cancel the reshowings.
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johnnydrama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. right
It's ok to talk about Clinton's personal life, but not ok to talk about Bush's policies.

Did anyone see anything personal Colbert said about Bush or his family? Did he mention his wife
or daughters or parents or brothers?

I certainly didn't see it.
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Bush_Eats_Beef Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 08:23 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I thought the Bush impersonator's remarks about Laura...
"...she's HOT...MUY CALIENTE..." were childish and inappropriate. They fit in well with her own remarks about Junior milking the horse.

WHY does the Bush family believe they are loved and admired by all the serfs in the land?

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NYCGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-02-06 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. I didn't say anything about Colbert or Bush. Knee jerk from you?
I pointed out a fact.
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