David Corn : Presidential Press Conference - Hilarious!

[evilqueen]

I Attend Bushs Press Conference
by David Corn

Below is the verbatim transcript of George W. Bush's first press conference after the election. With one exception. In a Photoshop-like way, I have inserted a kick-ass reporter who asks questions no one else does. But this revised transcript does not include the answers to these questions. My imagination only goes so far.

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all. Please be seated. Yesterday I pledged to reach out to the whole nation, and today I'm proving that I'm willing to reach out to everybody by including the White House press corps.

Very funny, Mr. President. Can you tell us why you have had far fewer press conferences than any president since Woodrow Wilson and the advent of the modern press conference? Your father, for instance, held 83 press conferences when he was president. As of this past June, you had held only 14. Are you afraid of coming before the media? Do you believe you have no obligation to do so? Is message control more important for you than the free flow of information?

This week the voters of America set the direction of our nation for the next four years. I'm honored by the support of my fellow citizens, and I'm ready for the job.

What do you say about the fact that 49 percent of the electorate did not accept your leadership, your agenda, your issues, your priorities? Does that concern you? If the war in Iraq was so necessary, why does half the nation not see it that way? And are you concerned about all the reports of trouble that occurred with electronic voting on Election Day? Will you support establishing an independent, nonpartisan commission to set effective and national standards for voting and for verfiying vote counts?

Read the rest, it's hilarious... and exactly how a real press conference should be!!