It Might Be The End of The World’s Most Phallically Sad SUV. But Has The Damage Been Done?

[marmar]

from SF Chronicle, via CommonDreams:


Published on Wednesday, May 23, 2007 by The San Francisco Chronicle
Rejoice, The Hummer Is Dead

It Might Be The End of The World’s Most Phallically Sad SUV. But Has The Damage Been Done?

by Mark Morford

The late Rev. Jerry Falwell? He was exactly like a Hummer H2. Oh yes he was. Bloated, arrogant, offensive to millions and deeply wrong in a thousand ways and yet blindly worshipped by a shockingly large and happily uninformed throng of devout minions for no other reason than he was, well, bloated, arrogant and wrong.

Is that too harsh? Lacking in prudent subtlety? I’m completely OK with that.

See, it is time for much rejoicing. It is time for an upraising of hands and a hallelujah and a praise be to the heavens despite how, of course, the heavens don’t really exist.

No, not for the death of Falwell, for that would be pointless and in poor taste and besides, the ever-acerbic Christopher Hitchens did it much better over at Slate. And as I pointed out last week, Falwell’s own collection of (in)famous quotes do a far better job of revealing the man’s true nature and worth to humanity than any sort of carefully articulated, cheerful celebration of his demise ever could.

No, this minor offering of joy is for the imminent and forthcoming death of the Hummer H2 itself. Oh my yes.

See, sales of this particular model — perhaps the most idiotic consumer vehicle ever produced in your lifetime — are down. Way down, a full 27 percent from last year alone, which was already way down 22 percent from the year prior, with sales continuing to plummet as fast as gas prices are rising and Bush’s war is raging and Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank of this monster abomination every other day might not be the best way to waste their kid’s college fund.

Hence, it’s heavily rumored that GM will soon kill the model entirely, which is already being supplanted by a slew of smaller, less disgusting H2 offspring like the H3 and the H3 pickup and the H3 whatever-the-hell-else-they-can-think-of to milk this horrible idea until it’s deader than Dick Cheney’s black soul at a pagan tree festival.

Is this not good news? Is this not a sign that times, at long last, might be changing for the better, even just a little? Wait, don’t answer just yet. .....(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/05/23/1400/

[fasttense]

1. He was also very, very wealthy.

I wonder if he's having a problem passing through the proverbial eye of the needle. The camel will get through before that fat white man does. He sure as hell risked his eternal soul by accumulating so much money. For someone who supposedly followed Christ's teachings, he sure ignored Christ's warnings about wealth.

[hunter]

2. So the overwhelming reek of insecurity that surrounds these things...

... has gotten so bad that even the insecure are smelling it now?

I always liked the description of the H2 as the "Leisure Suit Larry" version of the Chevy Tahoe.

Leisure Suit Larry

[phantom power]

3. And that reminds me of this:

[hunter]

4. No hotlinks to tomsjokes...

that's all I see. :cry:

[phantom power]

5. That's weird. Well, try this:

http://www.tomsjokes.com/en/pics/116072054222452.html