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Okay, who wants to stage a series of fake "Raptures" across the country?

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Ian David Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 07:44 AM
Original message
Okay, who wants to stage a series of fake "Raptures" across the country?
The idea is to make it appear like people are ascending to heaven, leaving piles of their clothes behind.

Extra points for doing this directly in front of a rapture-believing Fundie's house.

Extra bonus points for staging a "rapture" where someone... and their dog are Raptured up to Heaven.

Super Extra extra points for figuring out a way to do it right in front of their eyes.

"Hey, did you see that! That guy and his dog just vanished! Look, there's the guy's jogging outfit... and the leash and collar for the dog! Say, I thought you were an Evangelical Christian. How does a dog manage to get Raptured before someone as godly as you are?"

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The Backlash Cometh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 07:52 AM
Response to Original message
1. I don't think we'll get away with it for long, so why don't we contact
that show that plays mean tricks on people and have them target someone?
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klook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 07:54 AM
Response to Original message
2. I need to rapture my car
After it runs off a cliff unmanned, then I can collect a big payout from my Left Behind insurance company (I'm sure they're not going to heaven, and neither am I!). Then again, there will be a lot of pickup trucks and Chevy Suburbans just ripe for the picking, so why bother?
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drm604 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 07:58 AM
Response to Original message
3. Have you seen this?
It's fiction but it's funny.

http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm

ARKANSAS CITY (AP)

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.

She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say. "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said , "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
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C_U_L8R Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 08:01 AM
Response to Original message
4. I got raptured
Edited on Fri Jul-14-06 08:02 AM by C_U_L8R
and they got internet here too !!!
All you fundies... c'mon up !!!!
ALL U CAN EAT !!!!

don't get left behind now y'hear
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CrispyQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 08:02 AM
Response to Original message
5. ...
"Extra bonus points for staging a "rapture" where someone... and their dog are Raptured up to Heaven."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -Will Rogers
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 08:05 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. And God did say...
"I'll get you, my pretty. AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!"

/cue insane cackle
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 08:07 AM
Response to Original message
7. Or someone could just bump the fundies off...
...leave their clothes in a pile and pretend they were raptured. As long as the bodies are well hidden, who's to know?

Just sayin'.
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pepperbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-14-06 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
8. reminds me of the 6' under episode...
that opened with the death of a fundamentalist woman: sex dolls got loose from a truck somehow and she saw the dolls floating into the sky so she ran out into the street to be "taken" and she was....by a car.

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ima_sinnic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-29-06 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
9. link to "what will happen to our pets?" thread on RaptureReady
this is not a joke! these people are serious as a heart attack!

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=228118

IVE ASKED GOD TO SHOW ME WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR PETS DURING THE RAPTURE, IF THERE IS A PRE-TRIB RAPTURE. THEN I READ A LINE IN THE BIBLE SAYING THAT IF ANYONE SHOULD TURN TO GET HIS COAT OR THINGS HE WOULD LOSE HIS LIFE.. BUT DOES THAT ANSWER MY QUESTION? --loveshinesthru

This topic has been raised in the past..and there was some disagreement on viewpoints.
IMHO, I believe our pets will be raptured. I base my thoughts on Noah's ark. God saved the animals from His judgement. In the New Testament, we are reminded that the last days will be 'As in the days of Noah.'
There are some who will disagree with my viewpoint.
Bottom line: We won't know for sure until that day comes. One thing is certain, Psalm 150 states "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." I remind my pets often to PRAISE their MAKER & CREATOR as Psalm 150 says. --countmeworthy

I think all of creation will be evidenced in Heaven. That is with the possible exception of cats. They are too sneaky to be of God. --duckdogger

Do our dead pets rise first?
Where do you draw the line?
Many asians have pet crickets. --buzzardhut

They will most likely die if they are left indoors when we leave, unless someone comes looking for you and finds them. --ready2go

----------
many more comments, makes for some mighty entertaining reading!

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Baselinereality Donating Member (213 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-31-06 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. They Are Too Sneaky To Be Of God!!! LMAO!!
Fundamentalists have ALWAYS had a problem with the cats, haven't they? Man. LOL. Nice to know that, even as we explore outer space, clone animals and splice genes that we still believe that cats are the Spawn of Satan.

It would be hilarious if they didn't run the world.

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Megahurtz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-31-06 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Holy Crap!
:crazy:
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hsher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-17-06 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
11. This is a serious response to your question
I am all for this: where do we sign to do this, and when do we begin?

You sound like the new Abbie Hoffman. I dig the hell outta you! :yourock:
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