Can a prolonged and severe lack of intimacy cause an individual...

[LeftyFingerPop]

to constantly and incessantly rage with hatred on a message board?

Serious question.

[SoxFan]

1. Quite probably

I have to think that it would lead to frustration and anger, and possibly depression as well.

On the other hand, it could get you the Republican nomination for senate in Delaware.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. I tend to agree...

and I think that the actual core problem should be addressed, instead of the symptom.

[SoxFan]

5. Internet anger

I think a lot of the anger we see on the interwebtubes is rooted in other, real-world places. People are frustrated about their romantic prospects, their kids, their spouses, their crappy job or lack thereof. The relative anonymity of the internet is a place for that frustration to come crashing out. It's easy to harangue someone who is only known as a cheesy name on a screen, and not as a breathing human being.

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. This is a thoughtful response...

and I thank you for it.

[zanana1]

3. Di ng! Ding! Ding!

Good answer!

[SoxFan]

7. I do have my moments, don't I?

:hi:

[zanana1]

17. Congratulations, my young friend! nt

[MiddleFingerMom]

4. PARP YOU, YOU PARPIN' PARPYHEADED PEICE OF PARP!!!!!!!!

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[LeftyFingerPop]

6. If you could see my face right now....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SoxFan]

10. See, this is what Christine O'Donnell was warning us about!

:wow:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. you can tell which hand that person uses to keyboard --

Yes, Indeed!

[raccoon]

9. Do you mean intimacy, or do you mean sex?

Despite the usage of the word "intimacy" as a euphemism for sex, they ain't necessarily the same thing.

For either, I would say the answer is Yes.

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. I mean any loving physical contact...

which may or may not include sex. It could include a hug, a gentle caress, a kiss, etc.

[lillypaddle]

20. do my dogs count?

:)

[Orrex]

28. I don't know if your dogs count, by my cat can spell

[lillypaddle]

61. That's bad

very very good. I mean bad.

[NYC_SKP]

12. My remarkably calm and love-filled reply is below.

Yes, indeedy!

:hi:

:grouphug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. I do indeed appreciate calm replies to serious questions.

Thanks!

:hi: :hug:

I'm not necessarily talking about DU here...I read a lot of stuff on the internet. I'm trying to figure out what makes people CONSISTENTLY post hatred. Surely, they cannot live their real lives by going around and talking like they do on the net?

[NYC_SKP]

15. I think SoxFan made an astute observation, and I have to wonder right along with you...

...about how closely their discussion board persona mirrors their human-being interaction character.

More often than not, I feel sympathetic toward what real-life trauma they may be experiencing because, truly, there's a lot of that going around.

Props to you, friend, for the thoughtful and provocative question.

:hug:

[Cant trust em]

16. Man, really hope that some of these DUers aren't this crazy in real life. nt

[LeftyFingerPop]

18. I tried to ask this question the other night, but I asked the mods to delete it...

because I made the question way more complicated than it needed to be, and only a few people understood it.

My basic question is...Do you talk to people in real life the same way you talk to them on the internet?

I think my answer would be yes. For example, I would call taterguy a "dumbass" in real life, because it is a joke, and he would take it as one. If I really thought he was a dumbass in person, I would not call him that because I seriously would not want to hurt his feelings.

Would I call a stranger an asshole in real life? Well, I have, but I don't make a habit of it because I don't feel like getting my ass kicked every 5 minutes.

People smile in real life, they hold doors open for you, and they don't call you names.

[NYC_SKP]

19. On that conversational level, I think by far most of us are authentic...

...that our form of interactions on board is much the same as in real life.

But to the extent that we sense great constant anger/bitterness/negativity among some small number of posters on internet boards, one wonders if their real-life counterparts are similarly filled with these emotions.

We only live once, lets try to stay in a happy place!

:hi:

[seabeyond]

37. agree with your post. i know people in RL that mimick the unhappy on this board from the few

and i will just be happy, i am not living that. so hard, so hard.

but i think most are authentic, too.

[RKP5637]

58. Yes - "Do you talk to people in real life the same way you talk to them on the internet?" n/t

[HopeHoops]

21. Haven't you ever seen a post by a FOX troll?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. They would definitely have more free time to be on a message board

and although they are reaching out for what they are lacking in real life, they have not learned how to make positive interaction and that also translates in the way they communicate online.

meh, just a theory.

[mcctatas]

23. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of things that can cause one to

"constantly and incessantly rage with hatred on a message board". For instance, boredom, ennui, mental illness, addiction issues, feelings of impotence IRL, hell it could just be because their boyfriend ate the last of the Cheez-its and didn't buy a new box, nothing hacks me off more than wanting a handful of Cheez-its to go with my Diet Dr Pepper only to find the box EMPTY! :grr:

[MiddleFingerMom]

24. Ironically...

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...you sound REALLY cheesed.
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[Orrex]

25. I wouldn't call your raging hatred "constant" or "incessant"

Why do you ask?

[dembotoz]

26. depends of whether it bothers him or her

if they enjoy being a cold fish (for lack of a better term) then no.

but if it eats at them and frustrates them-then yes.

[LaurenG]

27. Oh dear Jesus and Mary

Can a severe lack of empathy and an over abundance of paranoia make people project?
It seems to me spamming and hate is a louge past time around here.

And I will gladly tell Skinner anything he wants to know about the projection and the constant barrage of paranoid junk posted here. I wish he'd ask me because this is just nuts now.

[LeftyFingerPop]

29. I would suggest that you tell Skinner whatever is on your mind.

[Orrex]

30. Especially if it involves pudding

[SoxFan]

116. Not tapioca, though. He hates tapioca.

[LeftyFingerPop]

34. By the way Lauren, if you don't like the thread...

make use of the functions and hide it.

[motely36]

31. I don't believe it would be limited to just a message board

and I certainly don't think you can assume the reverse.

:hi:

[cwydro]

32. I would say yes.

Also there are peeps who WAY overmedicate on prescription drugs and do things they later regret.

Several were on my ignore list, but all are TS'd now. (Though some of them I believe are the walking dead here among us) ;)

[Rosie1223]

33. Frankly, I find it insulting

to imply when someone is angry that their anger isn't justified, rather that they 'just need to get laid'.

[LeftyFingerPop]

35. Well, I didn't say that, nor did I imply it.

I asked an honest question with a caveat that I was not necessarily speaking about DU.

Nice try, though.

[Rosie1223]

40. I gave you an honest answer, speaking in generalities, not necesarily about DU either

and I wasn't trying anything. :shrug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

42. I'm not talking at all about "getting laid"...see upthread.

[Rosie1223]

46. You said it could include sex.

I just used a common euphemism.

[motely36]

43. Yet to everyone else in this thread who implies that you are talking about sex

you don't berate them about it.

Interesting.

[LeftyFingerPop]

44. Thanks! You're interesting too!

[motely36]

47. Why thanks you!

I didn't think anybody here really noticed me!

:hug:

[Name removed]

49. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Kali]

52. get some help, dude

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

36. I doubt it

I think it's more of a personality/temperament issue. Some people are just assholes in real life and on the internet. I wouldn't dream of taking my personal problems out on strangers or spreading hatred via the internet and I certainly wouldn't do it in fucking real life! I suspect that people who engage in being fuckwits on the internet probably have a lot of drama and shit going on in their daily lives as well.

Just my 02 cents. :evilgrin:

[LeftyFingerPop]

39. Should I sue for punitive damages?

Should I bring all my glasses, and my shoes?

Is your sister coming back to live with you soon? :hug:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

48. Of course, and your nub too

tough guy!

As soon as she can, Jill will be here! :loveya: :hug:

Now I'm off to spam the lounge!

[Name removed]

51. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MiddleFingerMom]

53. I greatly resent and have to put my foot down about your use of the term "fuckwits"...

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...as it's plainly obvious that they're never really "wits".
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I think someone's made my point.
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[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

57. Unfortunately it was deleted before I saw it

but I'm pretty sure it was the usual suspect!

These are my feelings tonight towards fuckwits and nincompoops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRC-XkrOP2c&feature=related

[Kali]

59. it was a vicious personal attack on you

by someone who really needs some help

wow, I hope they don't have children or any other vulnerable people in their lives

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

60. What the fuck did I do?

Oh shit, PM me will you Kali?

[Kali]

63. you may have dared to be friendly with the wrong person

or possibly said something publicly about the childish behavior of disgruntled members, or god forbid ragged on facebook.

I think the dead poster needs real help. He/she certainly isn't helping the cause of all the rest of "innocent" FB group.

[motely36]

66. What does that last comment even mean?

Are you suggesting that deleted post speaks for everyone on FB?

[Kali]

67. I don't suggest.

I state outright that if it is who I think it is he/she certainly is part of a group that seems to come here intentionally to disrupt. He/she is certainly connected to some who have publicly stated that DU sucks and that FB is better. That is where I make the statement that he/she is not helping the current claims of SOME FB users about why they are still posting here.

I did NOT suggest he/she speaks for all or even any, I said he wasn't helping the cause of some.

Nevertheless I do think he/she speaks for more than just him/herself.

Do you ever question deleted post about their behavior?

[motely36]

70. As I never saw the deleted post

I can hardly comment on it or even speculate on who might have written it.

[Orrex]

71. It's none of my business, but...

"Deleted Post" is a lovely anagram of "Depleted Sot."

[Kali]

72. and that could be one explanation

:thumbsup:

[cwydro]

78. I missed it too,

and that is a damn good thing.

Some asshat comes after you on DU and I may be in trouble with the mods real quick.

Why are so many assholes running rampant around here?

[cwydro]

69. Well said.

Brava!

[newcriminal]

38. Yes, it can!!

I know I can be a total bitch when I don't get any. (we are talking about chocolate cake right?)

[LeftyFingerPop]

41. Now, I'm going to pay you a compliment...

I bet that you speak to people on the internet the same way you speak to them in real life....and believe me...that is a high compliment.

[rug]

45. Here, now be nice.

[MiddleFingerMom]

55. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SEXCAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Amaril]

56. Oh. My. God.

(imagine drooling smilie here)

[Kali]

65. ! those um...berries look wet and shiny

:blush:

:yoiks:

[KamaAina]

50. Never mind the message board part.

:(

[Kali]

54. I think assholes are assholes

and honestly, we can all be assholes at times


I think pain (both physical and mental) and loneliness can cause people to enter a circle of bad behavior. Causing pain and alienating them further and further from the inclusion they seek. It is another of the defects in our culture - lashing out instead of seeking help or comfort.

It happens in groups too. Obviously.

[cwydro]

76. Once again.

Someone says it better than I can.

I think a lot of that behavior comes from pain.

[Forkboy]

62. Am I the only one who sees another round of bannings right around the corner?

[Kali]

64. doesn't seem to stop at least one sick person

wow!

[Forkboy]

68. It's all pretty silly, from both sides.

All this stuff is a good example of why I never fit in with people, and why I don't really want to. I mean, let's face it, people are upset about stuff that happens on a message board, in a place called The Lounge no less. I'm guessing that everyone involved is facing some kind of problems in their own life that are much more worthy of such feelings or concern. I know I do, so I never even get the motivation for going down this route in the first place. No offense to anyone here, but it's a message board. It could just be me, I admit. I am a total loner misanthrope. :)

I have nothing against either side, and was bummed to see some people get banned last time. I don't want to see it this time either, but I bet it's coming.

[LeftyFingerPop]

84. There are no sides.

[Forkboy]

89. I don't think even you buy that one.

:shrug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

94. I'll say it again forkboy...

I'm asking a question in my OP, and that is all I'm doing. If there are sides, I have no idea who is on mine.

[Forkboy]

109. Color me skeptical.

Nothing personal.

[Fleshdancer]

75. possibly...

Some posters like to bait others and others like to take the bait. It's all pretty weird.

[PVnRT]

111. I hear Skinner became a Canadiens fan....

Are you safe Mr. Forkboy? Mr. Forkboy are you safe?

[Forkboy]

112. LOL...I'm doomed!

:)

[Xipe Totec]

73. No, I speak from per...

er...

I mean, I've heard that's not the case...


:blush:

[kimi]

74. Yes, probably, IMO

But I tend to think that most people who come onto the message boards I frequent are genuine and good-hearted, otherwise I don't stick around long. In the past couple days, for other reasons and once accidently, I wandered into 2 conservative message boards. Now, THERE are some messed-up, rage-filled people in some of those places. I don't see the animus towards conservatives that some of those folks display towards liberals, for instance, where I tend to post. But that's just one example.

I think all of us have personal issues, it's just life. But a lot more of us are genuinely trying to connect and make life a little easier with some support network, such as DU. It provides kind of an intimacy, not physical certainly, but emotional in some ways.

Hope that makes sense. :hi:

Edit to clarify.

[BellaLuna]

77. After seeing some of your comments in this thread

I think you're probably the best person to answer your own question.

[LaurenG]

79. ***

:rofl:

[Kali]

80. I don't see LFP lashing out in this thread anywhere

can you show me where you are seeing that? Or did you mean something else by your comment?

oh and I was going to welcome you to DU but I see you have been here since 2004 - interesting posting choices there.

[jobycom]

81. Just everywhere. nt

[Kali]

82. ?

:shrug:

[cwydro]

86. Lots of zombies among us...

I said it before and I will say it again...

No doubt the FB grapevine is buzzing, because none of these people can let go of DU.

They brag about being TS'd but they HATE it.

[Fleshdancer]

88. I have no idea what's going on at FB....

but if it's on FB and not here, why bother talking about it here? Who cares what other people say on a totally different website?

[jobycom]

91. If that's an accusation against me, take the marbles out of your mouth and say it.

I'm not a zombie, I have no alter ego or sock puppet, I've never been tombstoned, or even warned, and don't talk about DU anywhere but on DU. I'm not part of any clique, and have been ostracized by several cliques for refusing to take sides in their battles. If this Facebook grapevine exists as we are told it does, I've been blocked from it, probably because I have friends on both sides of whatever lines have been drawn around here so no one would have any privacy if I were included in them.

What are you accusing me of, specifically? Because most of the insults and nastiness I see around here these days are this type of NcCarthyist innuendo, where someone makes a vague but widely understood insult in an OP, and a bunch of other people defend the OP with unspecified accusations and rumors about Facebook conspiracies, zombies, and sock puppets, either having missed the nasty intent in the first place, or agreeing with it.

Either way, I don't come here for all this hate, but that's most of what I see these days. It gets tiring.

[Kali]

96. I don't think she meant you,

but this Bella Luna just appears in this thread after 4 years and comments with no evidence?

I was in the same place as you last year, got slammed by one side and just sort of defaulted to the side that hasn't given me shit. I have to judge on what I see with my own eyes and how people I interact with treat me.

I have been called a liar, unethical, a moron, told to fuck off, and all manner of rudeness by one side. I have seen nice people absolutely ATTACKED, not just criticized or even snarked - plain old bullying mean ATTACKED - and again it was from one side in this thing. Yes I have seen baiting and snark and some rudeness on both sides, and I know there are innocents on the FB side, but there is a very definite tilt to the really nasty shit and I believe most can see it pretty clearly.

One particular zombie/sock and one or two current members seem especially reactionary and possibly in real need of help. Most of the rest are just tag-along troublemakers. A few I really used to respect. Even until recently.

[cwydro]

99. Thanks Kali

and no, I did not mean him/ her.

I am talking about recent new members who seem to know their way around a little too well, if you know what I mean.

[cwydro]

98. I am very sorry, but I was not talking to you at all.

I was responding in general to the thread, and specifically to a number of very low post count newbies who I suspect as zombies.

YOu have been here for a long time and never crossed my mind as a zombie or a sock or anything.

Sorry if my post seemed to say otherwise. I mean that honestly and seriously; you took my post wrong.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

110. and

crickets.

[LeftyFingerPop]

83. Really? Prove it. n/t

[jobycom]

92. I can read an OP, even if others can't. nt

[LeftyFingerPop]

95. Your over-reaction indicates that you can't read an OP.

[LeftyFingerPop]

85. Which comments, specifically?

[Curmudgeoness]

87. Do I really do that? If so, then that is definitely a good excuse. nt

[jobycom]

90. There are lots of things that can cause people to be jerks on a message board.

Sometimes it's something in their personal lives that makes them lash out at the slightest provocation or even to start taking the offense against threats they expect to come, sometimes it's just a bullying nature and a sincere belief that one is smarter than everyone else and can slide in just below the rules while blatently taunting those who can see through them. The latter type often gets away with it, in my generalized observations, because they are just barely subtle enough to make it difficult to show a mod what they are doing. They are like George Bush and Karl Rove, who enjoy cruelty for its own sake, and know they can fool just enough people to remain protected.

Both types get old quick. One dumps their problems on others, the other just enjoys the feeling of superiority they get from being mean. Both kill all real discussion and interaction.

[LeftyFingerPop]

93. That wasn't my question.

Maybe you should read the OP again instead of bringing all this other stuff into it.

[nolabear]

97. Yes it can. Trust me; I'm a professional. But so can other things.

[LeftyFingerPop]

100. Thanks for a straight-forward answer. n/t

[cwydro]

101. Ah god Lefty...

what is funny is how many people have reacted in just that fashion here!

Thinking you hit a nerve there, guy.

Wow.

And while I am here, let me just say IBTL.

[LeftyFingerPop]

102. Well, it's really too bad...

I'm sure it will end up locked too. Quite amazing considering it started off so civil. I think people are trying to read some intent in this, when my only intent is to try to figure out if this is a contributing factor in the "rage" phenomenon.

I read plenty of websites and blogs, not just DU, and I see it all over.

I ask a simple question, and people start accusing me of shit, zombies come in and attack, all sorts of bizarre shit.

I don't dance around a problem I am having...if I wanted to accuse anyone at DU of anything, i would have done so directly.

[cwydro]

103. Yep.

I would agree that you generally go at something directly.

Lot of passive/aggressive crap on here...but you are not one of those.

[S n o w b a l l]

104. I can see why that was on your mind with all the O'Donnell

and masturbation threads lately. Makes you wonder if those spitting and spewing nonsense like she does have the same lack of physical intimacy and sexual repression.

I know if I was a 40 yo virgin or had a hangup about masturbating, I'd be frustrated! All that pent up frustration has got to come out some way...a message board would be a safe place to do that.

[LeftyFingerPop]

106. That very well could have been in the back of my mind when I typed the OP...

I gotta quit watching MSNBC :banghead:

[SoxFan]

115. This place amazes me

Your threads are usually awesome surrealist humor. When you turn serious, they are always surprisingly thoughtful and introspective. I always enjoy seeing your name on a thread subject line.

[LeftyFingerPop]

117. Thank you, and I want to tell you something...

People need something to chew on. You happened to be a target tonight. Let it roll off you, because in another 10 minutes, it will be something else. Racism is in the heart, not the words. You are not a racist.

[SoxFan]

118. ...

:fistbump:

[TonyMontana]

105. Absolutely

It can also cause a lot of bitterness and anger in general.

[LeftyFingerPop]

107. Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[applegrove]

108. Depends who you are. I know I'm solitary and I love being alone.

I inherited it from my dad. It is normal in some families.

[Boojatta]

113. That explains it. I was wondering what made John Paul II such a flame warrior.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

114. and also why Paul Revere hung out with the Raiders.