When I apply for a job, and then they hire me, why do I have to go in and work each day?

[LeftyFingerPop]

Isn't that kind of a duplication of effort?

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. If you have to go in and work each day, it's only because you screwed up the interview.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You need to be very clear about expecting to work only at
your convenience.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
That way, if they do hire you, it won't be YOUR fault when
you get fired.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You will have retained the moral high ground.
.
.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. That makes good sense.

Thank you.

[mikeSchmuckabee]

3. You should have stayed in school

it beats working.

[old mark]

4. An old fellow I used to work with always used to say,

"I asked for a job, and they gave me work instead."

We got along pretty well...


mark

[MajorChode]

5. You can always become an international man of leisure

I hear that pays pretty well and there's no real work involved.

[kentauros]

6. It's HR's fault.

If, when filling out your application, you had simply said "see resume" and not actually filled in every single space, including the "For Office Use Only" exactly as they would have done, then you wouldn't have impressed them so much with your HR-professionalism and not been expected to show up for work every day. Because they have no idea what your job entails (unless it is in HR) then they automatically assume that all jobs are exactly the same as theirs and thus why you would be expected to show up every day.

[gratuitous]

7. Who says you have to go in to work?

"I see you've been missing a lot of work lately, LFP."

"Well, Bob, I wouldn't say I've been missing it at all."

See how long the paychecks come after you stop coming in at all. If the firm is big enough, you could run this for years.

[kentauros]

12. So long as you're assuming he's Peter, and not Milton.

Bob Slydell: I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."


Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Great.
Dom Portwood: So, uh, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it'll just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end.


Of course, Milton got off pretty easy in the end, other than the big grains of salt floating in his margarita... ;)

[ElmStreetPlaza]

8. Bathroom breaks

You have to remember to ask for a bathroom break before, during and after the interview :evilgrin:

[arbusto_baboso]

9. All I ask is an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Is that so wrong?

[Jigglebilly]

10. Ohhh you still have a job,

may the stoners of the world rejoice. good times good times

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. Are you saying that you smoke pot?

[stray cat]

13. good news - you don't; just don't expect to keep the job but no one is making you go