A new poem: Summer Perfect

[CaliforniaPeggy]

perfect waves
glossy sharp high

perfect sun
cloudless blue endless
sky

perfect beach
perfect people
perfect bodies
perfect tans

perfect
everything


in the cove

the mermaid weeps
for her

lost
tail

the stony beach
cuts her
feet
over her perfect
lost

love

© 2010 MLC

[XemaSab]

1. I don't get it

Is her tail her lost love? :shrug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Hi Xema...

No, her tail was replaced by her feet. Do you know the fairy tale? She exchanges her beautiful tail for legs and feet so she will be able to love a human man. The story also says that when she walks, the pain is excruciating.

She loses her immortality when she does this, and in my poem, she has also lost her lover...

Does that help?

[XemaSab]

3. I guess that helps

:shrug:

[Seneca]

6. Rent "Splash"

It will all become clear. :-)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Yes! Splash is the perfect movie for this...

[eShirl]

4. ahh

nice :)
reminds me of being a teenager
:donut:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Thanks!

Doesn't it though?

[YankeyMCC]

5. Perfect

:)

Seriously, I really like how you show that a perfect moment is just what that moment is including the pain the mermaid feels in her new feet.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. Thank you, my dear YankeeMCC!

[lunatica]

10. How beautifully tragic!

Not that she lost her tail, but that she had to make the choice to lose it in the first place. Her love is truly perfect.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. Thanks, my dear lunatica...

Just my modern take on the old fairy tale...

[Haole Girl]

12. Curious about something...

why did you use lost as the last word in the poem? Seems like it should be loss. :shrug:

Sorry, the perfectionist in me is wondering.

Love mermaid stories, btw. Wish you would write & share with us another short story about the beach (like the beach house story). :hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. I used the word lost because it's about her lost love...

You can always ask me anything you like!

I rather doubt there will be any more stories...poetry seems to have taken over, lol!

Sorry...

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

14. Thanks

I loved that short story you wrote. Maybe someday you will reconsider & write another story, too. :-)

[MiddleFingerMom]

15. Another one I really like (and a comment on your political poem, too)

.
Hi, CaliforniaPeggy! :hi:
.
.
.
.
. I really like this one -- your strengths of simple imagery, pacing, spacing,
and juxtaposition all weave together in this one.
.
.
It's damn near...
.
.
.
.
.
.
...well... ... ... damn near-perfect.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I really liked your political poem also -- they're VERY hard to write without
sounding self-righteous or preachy. I thought it SO representative of so many
dark forces that seem to be everywhere that my ONLY disappointment
was when you limited it to Gitmo. It was an EXCELLENT commentary on the dark
side of our socio-political world in general.
.
.
.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear MiddleFingerMom!

Wow! These are incisive and wonderful comments!

I thank you so much.

It means a lot to me...

:hug:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

17. Wow. An old story brought back to life.

We've discarded so many of the old things...

Thank you, Peggy.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. My dear Prisoner_Number_Six...

Aw, thanks, sweetie...

I'm really glad you like this one...

:hug:

[seaker]

19. It is helpful to be reminded,

that around a corner or a cove, someone could use a hand even in the carefree perfection of a summer day. Thank you Peggy.
OBTW, I seem to recall in one version of the story, she also doesn't get her prince in the end. Very sad.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

22. My dear seaker...

I thank you for your intelligent remarks...

I really appreciate you, and them.

[kimi]

20. Ah, it makes me sad

But, that sort of fits right now.


Again, CAPeggy, you've hit it right on the head. Uncanny. :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

23. My dear kimi...

Ah, I'm sorry it made you sad...

But that's how things are, sometimes...

Thanks, sweetie!

[RetroLounge]

21. Just Like Bukowski

and I
mean

that in

a
good
way!

:hi:

RL

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. My dear Retro!

Well, knock me over with a feather!

I am very glad to see you here, with good and interesting things to say...

I appreciate your critique very much. And I wish you would resume posting your own work. I always enjoyed it, and I miss it...

I LOVE Bukowski!

Thank you.

:hi: