Philosophy lessons learned from Television!

[Bennyboy]

"Sex, Just another damn thing to take your pants off for" Noted Philosopher, Norm Peterson.

[Bennyboy]

1. "Jerry, if you believe it, then it's not a lie..."

Noted Philosopher, George Costanza.

[pokerfan]

7. if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right

Seinfeld - The Opposite

[Initech]

11. Kramer: "Here's to feeling good all the time!"

[Initech]

15. Newman: "When you control the mail, you control... information!"

[pokerfan]

2. Life's too short to spend it with people who annoy you.

[Bennyboy]

3. Homer (The philosopher, not the really old guy who wrote those books)

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

[Bennyboy]

4. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.

The lesson is, never try.

[Bennyboy]

5. I'm having the best day of my life,

and I owe it all to not going to Church!

[Bennyboy]

6. Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

[Bennyboy]

8. Television!

Teacher, mother, secret lover.

[Bennyboy]

9. Getting out of jury duty is easy.

The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

[Initech]

12. But Marge - you being the cop makes you the man, which makes me the woman!

And I have no interest in that, besides wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

[Initech]

18. So I says red M&M, blue M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end!

[Bennyboy]

10. More Norm...

Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts."

[pokerfan]

24. Once the trust goes out of a relationship,

it's really no fun lying to them anymore.

-Norm Peterson

[sarge43]

13. Don't throw domesticated turkeys out of a helicopter. n/t

[Initech]

14. Leela on Futurama: "Uh huh,,, uh huh... then every religion is wrong!"

[csziggy]

16. Burt Campbell - Soap - Life plays funny tricks

Life plays funny tricks...You see what happens in life is this - something bad happens to you and you say “Oh God, look at this bad thing that just happened to me.”

Then you figure it’s over and it will all get good again but then what happens is another bad thing happens and then you say “Pffft, that was a surprise. I mean, two bad things in a row but I guess that’s it for a while ‘cause I just had my quota of bad.”

And then what happens is some awful thing happens to you like everything gets taken away from you and you say “Pfft, well, that’s it, there is nothing else that can happen - I lost everything.” And then life plays it’s ‘funny trick’ - you die.

http://www.tv.com/video/10468771/episode-41

[Bennyboy]

17. ha ha. Bert was one of the best...(NT)

[csziggy]

19. That episode is one of my favorites

And I was so glad to finally find it on the 'net. That show still stands up after all these years - I was LMAO watching that old show. Robert Guillaume as Benton was so great, as were all the cast.

[Bennyboy]

20. The dummy had some great lines too...

When they were all sitting around getting drunk was HIGHLY LARRY US!

[pokerfan]

21. "Keep your stick on the ice."

Red Green Show

[Dr Morbius]

22. Popeye the Sailor: I am what I am, and that's all what I am.

Miyagi, The Next Karate Kid (I saw it on TV):

Never trust a spiritual leader who can't dance.

Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop: Whatever happens, happens.

[Initech]

23. Bender on Futurama: Like most of life's problems this one can be solved with bending.