Grandfathers and Step grandchildren

[SPKrazy]

how realistic is it for someone to expect a grandfather to immediately accept stepgrandchildren as he does his only bio grandson of 10 years?

[Swede]

1. I guess it all depends on the grandfather.

If these kids are gonna be in his life,why not?

[Gormy Cuss]

2. IBTL

and it's only as realistic as the grandfather wishes it to be. We all have difference levels of acceptance for new family members and there is no hard and fast rule about it.

How ya been, SPK?

[SPKrazy]

3. I'm Ok

just tired of feeling in the middle between my dad and my spouse on the kids.

how are you?

[Gormy Cuss]

4. Hanging in there..

some rough patches and loss in the past year but family gets me through it all, even when I want to shake them. Capice?

[crim son]

5. He's an old man.

He will need time but if he's a decent guy he'll come around.

[alphafemale]

6. You've got to give something like that time

It's not just a "blood" thing, these are not kids he watched grow up and formed a bond with over time.

I think it is realistic to "expect" someone to immediately adore kids who are essentialy strangers to him.

He should treat them fairly, of course. But allow a bond to develop naturally, if it's going to.

Do these kids have their own bio-G's?

They may not be that interested in having this relationship forced on them either.

[Roon]

7. My step-father accepted all his step grandchildren without question

of course, he is special. They call him "grumpa"

[mzteris]

8. my dad was everyone's

"grandaddy" pretty much as soon as he met them.

Just one of those people, you know? He was the best at story-telling. All the grandkids used to WANT to go to bed at Grandaddy's house cause he'd tell stories. Even the teens would still sneak in to listen. My one niece was convinced there were three magic kittens who slept under her pillow at grandmother and grandaddy's house. She'd call on the phone to "talk to them".

I really hate my dad died when my adopted son was only 6 months old. He never even met him. My mother was already slipping into senility by then so he never knew her either. My sons basically grew up without Grandparents. My older son remembers them "a little bit". Of course my daughter spent many happy summers with them fishing and gardening and doing nails and "putting on plays" for them with her cousin.


oops - sorry - don't know where that stroll down memory lane came from.

Don't know what advice I can give you. Don't rush it. Give them some time to get to know each other. How old are the kids? How long has it been? What were theh circumstances causing the "stepping" relationship? What's the relationship with the parents - his kid and his new d/s-in-law.

Do they have any common interests? Foster connections - sports, games, hobbies, events. Look for ways to include them in each others lives in positive ways. Get the kids to rake his leaves. HAve them ask him "about when he was little" - when their new step parentn was little.

Above all, if it doesn't happen. Don't take it personally. Hard, yeah, I know. But try and avoid personalizing it for your own and your kids' sake.

[Brickbat]

9. I don't think there can be any expectations whatsoever in a blended family beyond everyone treating

everyone else with respect. Affection and love might just have to wait.