IF you woke up tomorrow with Superman's Powers... .

[AsahinaKimi]

What would YOU DO?

Tell us what you would do with such powers if you suddenly had them. Would you be a hero? Would you hide away?
Would you do things on the sly or out in the open. Would you even wear a costume?

[rcrush]

1. Build a crystal fortress in the Arctic.

[AsahinaKimi]

2. Thats it?

Just that?

[rcrush]

5. I might yank an ATM out of the ground and fly away with it.

Just cause I would need cash to buy groceries for my Arctic Fortress.

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. Mmmmmm, X-ray vision

I would use my X-ray vision to buy only the packages of Cracker Jack with
the COOLEST prizes inside. Is that so WRONG????
.
Did I just date myself?
.
Date myself?
.
...."I've always kinda been partial to calling myself up on the phone and asking
myself out, you know? Oh yeah, you call yourself up too huh? Yeah, well one
thing about it, you're always around.
....Yeah I know, yeah you ask yourself out, you know, some class joint somewhere.
The Buretto King or something, you know. Well I ain't cheap you know. Take
yourself out for a couple of drinks maybe. Then there'd be some provocative
conversation on the way home. Park in front of the house you know.
....Oh yeah, you smoothly put a little nice music on, maybe you put on like uh,
you know, like shopping music, something thats not too interruptive you know and
then uh slide over real nice and say 'Oh I think you have something in your eye'.
....Well maybe it's not that romantic with you but Christ I don't know, you know
I get into it you know. Take myself up to the porch, take myself inside or maybe
uh, or may get a little something, a brandy snifter or something.
....'Would like you like to listen to some of my back records? I got something
here' Uh Well usually about 2.30 in the morning you've ended up taking advantage
of yourself. There ain't no way around that you know. Yeah, making a scene with
a magazine, there ain't no way around it.
....I'll confess you know, I'm no different you know. I'm not weird about it or
anything, I don't tie myself up first.
....I just kinda spend a little time with myself --Tom Waits (Better Off Without a Wife)

[Orrex]

12. What dates you isn't the reference to Cracker Jack prizes

It's the reference to cool Cracker Jack prizes. No cool prize has been found in Cracker Jacks in at least 35 years, and probably longer.


Kudos to you for the Tom Waits excerpt, and welcome to DU!

[Kali]

14. I was thinking the same thing (only slower, ya know?)

Cracker JacK? they still have that? prizes? oh yeah wheee! always liked to get a ring or something...hey wait a minute all they ever had the last time I saw cracker jacks was stupid sloppy water based fake tatoos. and I always hated the peanuts too!

[Orrex]

16. The last time I had Cracker Jack was at some sort of theme-day at my former office

The prize, if such it may be called, was a paper rectangle about 3/4" by 1" with a little horizontal slit in it and printed with a cheap line-drawing of Abraham Lincoln. According to the wrapper, this was a pencil-topper.

Who the hell are they kidding? Why do they even bother?

[Kali]

24. ...

:spray: :rofl:

OMG a pencil topper - yeah it was that prize as basically a little piece of paper - hey just print a joke or a cryptic bit of advice and call it a fortune:eyes:

[AsahinaKimi]

17. welcome to DU

Enjoy.

[quakerboy]

4. learn to use them, somewhere out of the way

Yes to costume, double yes to gloves so no fingerprints.

I would imagine I would tend less toward the action hero and more towards the sunshine. Imagine what superspeed combined with moderate computer skills could do with 10 minutes and the location of various corporate hq's. I would forsee a whole lot of high powered secrets suddenly becoming public domain. I also would expect to have a lot of very uncomfortable situations to accompany them. Say a homeless camp suddenly relocated onto the roof of Walmarts corporate office. Iraqi Refuge families in bulk suddenly all over XE's training compound and their CEO's home. Huge amounts of polluted soils transplanted to surround coal mining HQ.

I wonder what would happen if freighters of Chinese goods kept finding themselves back in Chinese waters after spending days chugging toward our shores. Or if the files of all the denied claims of the insurance companies kept finding their way into the private homes of their well paid CEO's.

I suppose I would, when the situations presented themself, find ways of helping on a more personal scale. And I am sure I would not be above some minor twiddling along the lines of letting the air out of Liebermans tires, taking the time to personally make sure that every one of Mizz Palin's Crunchwrap supremes from now till the end of time just happen to have some minced Bhut Jolokia, or that the power to Glen Becks studio keeps suddenly cutting out.

But I would play it low key, yaknow.

[hobbit709]

6. I've got a little list

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tκte-α-tκtes insist —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not he missed!

He's got her on the list — he's got her on the list;
And I don't think she'll be missed — I'm sure she'll not be missed!

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

[taterguy]

7. Lois Lane

Obviously

[hobbit709]

8. You need to read this about the problems involved.

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

[taterguy]

9. No I don't. I just want to get freaky with Lois Lane

What kid from the 70s didn't have the hots for Margot Kidder?

[Bucky]

10. Point of clarification, please: would this make my penis larger?

[AsahinaKimi]

21. I suppose as someone with Superman's powers

That might be possible ..

[edhopper]

11. I'd do what I do every night

Plan to take over the world!

[DerekG]

13. I would be a benevolent tyrant

Force the leaders of the world to implement a Scandinavian socialist economic model. End exploitation and hunger. Then I'd seek out Wonder Woman.

Business before pleasure, I always say.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

15. One-world tyranical dictatorship.

Fuck yeah.

[AsahinaKimi]

18. Oh wait... I gotcha !!

"KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"

[Mojambo]

19. I dunno, but I'd be off planet. n/t

[Iggo]

20. I would totally sock some bad guys. (n/t)

[dysfunctional press]

22. i'd keep it quiet about it, and rob banks by night for awhile...

and then find a nice little tropical island to build a fortress of solitude on. fuck that arctic shite.

[AsahinaKimi]

23. better watch out

Iggo wants to totally sock bad guys!

[MiddleFingerMom]

26. Did you say "Sock puppet and some bad guy"?

[dysfunctional press]

27. i'll only rob the bad banks.

but that doesn't really narrow things down too much, does it?

btw- i don't remember...what happens when superman and superman get into a fight? (and there's a pretty good chance that we've actually been living in the bizarro world all along.)

[guitar man]

25. The x-Ray vision thing

Damn , there's this woman I been wanting to see nekkid for quite some time now :evilgrin:

[DarkTirade]

28. People who park outside the lines... would come back to find their cars neatly in the lines.

... and possibly upside-down, depending on how badly they parked in the first place.

[GReedDiamond]

29. The Flying Fuck...

More: http://www.vonshollywood.com/ff_heredoesntcome01.html

[JTG of the PRB]

30. I would inevitably end up using said powers for evil.

I know I would. I just know I would. Blowing up stuff, crumbling mountains, heat vision, freeze breath, x-ray vision...

It's a good thing I DON'T have his powers. That's all I'm saying. :hide: