I'm spending the day in the kitchen and feel a need for ego boost - write haikus/limericks about me!

[Rabrrrrrr]

Or whatever poetic/non-poetic form you want.

I love having the day off!

First one in quite a while. I'll probably pop into the office at some point anyway, because that's the kind of dude I am, but still, it's just good to know that I don't *have* to do so!

So today I cook.

I'm going to try a beef confit for the first time, and see how that turns out. Plus some oyster stew, and I'm going to put together a vichyssoise to have handy in the next week for quick meals. Oh, and scones. Must bake scones!

Anyway, have at it. Feed my ego, you fawning sycophants.

[HopeHoops]

1. There once was a Rabrrrrrr in the kitchen

Who whipped up some beef that was kickin'
Plus oyster stew
and vichyssoise too
And man was that meal really bitchin'


I don't do haiku.

I know another limerick about a guy in Nantucket!

[Bucky]

2. There once was a DUer named Rabrrrrrr...

Who sat next to Palin to grab her.
Tho still a desperate old Fogue
He just couldn't "go rogue"
Once he paused and she started to blabber.

[Dr. Strange]

3. All righty then.

Lo. The beginning
is a delicate time, yo.
So watch your still suit.

The sands of Rrrrrrakis
are changing, ever shifting.
Worms disappearing.

But: as the worms go
so goes the spice--and empire.
The humans are doomed.

Bene Gesserit?
Tleilaxu masters? Fremen naibs?
No one can save us.

But from the sand trout
A mad savior arises--
the Kwisatz Rabrrrrrr!

His mentat skills swell
setting up the Golden Path.
I hope he brings beer.

[Dr. Strange]

4. Rabrrrrrr Messiah

Emperor Rabrrrrrr
Controls the Fremen sietches.
And controls the spice.

Spice production stops.
The empire has been shattered.
Sardaukar, save us!

But Rabrrrrrr's forces
quickly overcome all foes.
Take that, you fuckwads!

Rabrrrrrr defeats Sting
And claims his rightful place as
Lord of the Landsrrrrrraad.

[Dr. Strange]

5. Children of Rabrrrrrr

Rabrrrrrr begets twins.
In time, they will take the throne,
In the next novel.

But first, they wander
across the desert, until--
Whoa! Jacurutu!

And then Rabrrrrrr's son,
Rabrrrrrr Jr, eats some spice,
And sees the future.

The path is now clear.
Junior sets the Foundation.
To save the empire.

He covers his skin
with the baby sand worm forms
known as Kilgore Trout.

Rabrrrrrr Jr rules.
His Foundation is secure.
Until the lawsuit!

Asimov's estate
Lays claim to the Foundation!
Fuck Hari Seldon!

But Junior prevails,
after slicing off the heads
Of vermin lawyers.

Psychohistory
didn't see that coming, did it?
And now, Junior rules.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. ROTFL!

The Hari Seldon line made me laugh. The "Psychohistory didn't see that coming, did it?" line made me laugh out loud!

:rofl:

Excellent! Perfect!! Wondrous!!!!!

:rofl:


:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:


You could have a career doing funny haiku send-ups of great novels.