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Praise me, for I am a jerk. (Satire)

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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 01:09 PM
Original message
Praise me, for I am a jerk. (Satire)
Edited on Thu Dec-17-09 01:11 PM by Writer
I revel in my ability to hurt others.

I enjoy watching people I don't know get upset when I insult them.

I am a brilliant, amazing individual who deserves praise for her ability to control other people's emotions.

I don't need to hold myself accountable for how I communicate with others. I don't need to perform self-introspection.

I am a jerk. And I am grand.

Praise me, for inside I am a shell of a human being who only holds herself upright by the negative energy she absorbs from others.

Thanks for the break. Now I must return to GD.


All the best, chumps,

~Not Writer~



;)
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. Funny, doesn't READ like satire.
:)
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I am now working on a brilliant, loaded insult.
You just wait!

~Not Writer~
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Still working on it.
Oh, I know this will be a GOOD one, too!

You just wait.
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Wait - I got it! I got it!
Edited on Thu Dec-17-09 03:01 PM by Writer
Here's my big insult... ready?


PassingFair, are you actually passing air?



HA! Praise me for my brilliant meanness.

;)


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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 03:08 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Not brilliant, I'm afraid...
Passing GAS is the preferred insult.

FAIL
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. But FAIR and AIR rhyme!
Passing gas sounds so drab.

And FAIR is one letter away from FAIL.

So THERE!

;)

~Not Writer~
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. The rhyme is a gimmick.
It fails to convey the insult succinctly....


:)
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Huh... okay.
So I need to devise a real, gimmick-free insult.

Let me ponder it for a while.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
5. Have fun storming the castle. n/t
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
9. I've always thought you were just a shill...
...but apparently, you're even worse... :P
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. My checks don't come from the University, no.
That's just a cover...

They come from the MSMDLCMIC Illuminati!

:P
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JackDragna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-17-09 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
12. Wait..I like this! This is ME!
Yeah!
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