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Why Paintball is (not) like sex

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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-21-04 09:42 PM
Original message
Why Paintball is (not) like sex
I did not see anything bad in the following so I am posting it here ofr anyone who has not seen it.....I thought it was funny. BTW, I am not the author of at bottom of post.


I (Dan) figured out why paintball is so popular, it's 'cause paintball and sex are EXACTLY the same.

1. You are really nervous and don't know what to expect the first time.

2. You get all sweaty, your heart races, your breathing quickens.

3. You have performance anxiety. You wonder how long you'll last. You wonder how well you'll do.

4. It's embarrassing if you are experienced and don't perform up to your partner's expectations.

5. You have to wear protection. In fact, in the past people used very little protection or protection that wasn't specifically deigned for it. Nowadays, people don't put up with that kind of attitude. If you're not willing to wear protection, no one wants anything to do with you. (There are still people who ignore the dangers and don't feel this way, however.)

6. It's more fun when you are with someone else.

7. There are special places you can go and pay for it.

8. There are special pieces of equipment --some of them even have batteries.

9. It would be really great to do on a regular basis.

10. Some people like the opposite sex to be present and some people don't.

11. You brag and tell exaggerated stories about it.

12. You have special clothing specifically designed for it.

13. Like pizza, when it's good -- it's really good. When it's bad -- it's still pretty good.

14. I had to pay for my first time.

15. From your partner's point of view -- experience is valued over exuberance.

16. Just 'cause you have a regular partner, doesn't mean you can do it whenever you want to.

17. You're ready for it, at a moment's notice.

18. If you talk about it openly, some people will get offended.

19. You think about it, all the time. ESPECIALLY when you can't do it.

20. Some people like the same partners, some people like to have different partners.

21. Everyone has their own theories on how it should be done. There are those who feel it should be done the way it used to be.

22. There are virgins.

23. There are professionals that just do it for money, but most of us just do it 'cause it's so much fun.

24. You can do it inside or outdoors. However, if you do it outdoors, it has to be a secluded area, so other people won't wander in by mistake and see you. Many would be shocked to see that going on.

25. Experienced people help teach those who are new at it.

26. Some experienced people take advantage of those with little experience, just to make themselves feel superior.

27. There are people whose job it is to give advice about it and try and figure out why EXACTLY we do it.

There are DIFFERENCES between sex and paintball, though.

1. You can do one of them naked.

2. Not everyone enjoys JUST watching.

3. Playing paintball with a bunch of other people is not usually frowned upon.

4. People won't earn a "bad reputation" if they play paintball a lot.

5. If Bill Clinton played paintball with those women, he wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble.

6. In most places, paintball is a seasonal activity.

7. If you're single, over thirty, and you play paintball, no one says, "When are you going to get married?"

8. Given the choice, your spouse would rather have you go out to play PAINTBALL with other people.

9. Paintball is BETTER THAN SEX because paintball is SAFE.

10. You're NEVER to tired to play paintball!

Credit for this list goes to

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Supply Side Jesus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-21-04 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. funny stuff
i'm heading out to the mountains to play some tomarrow, first in 7 months!!

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