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Worst (Or best, depending on your perspective) Tiger Woods joke...

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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 06:59 PM
Original message
Worst (Or best, depending on your perspective) Tiger Woods joke...
"Elin could get so much in a divorce settlement, it'll make Heather Mills want to amputate her good leg."

Wow. Just. Wow.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Woods lives in a gated community and drove his car into a tree...
just goes to show that golf turns you into an old white man.

(Betcha his left signal was on, too.)
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NightWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. how original, a gated community in Orlando, too
he went from a hip, young kid to an old white guy in two years.

Oy vey, the earlybird dinner starts at 4, we should get going.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 08:13 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Your use of "white" after the preposition 'to' suggests he was not white prior to its usage.
Edited on Sun Dec-06-09 08:13 PM by Deja Q
Is he a chameleon?

:hide:
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NightWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. he was half black, half asian, half white (?) but the gated community in Orlando screams "whitey"
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Including you and Peter Sagal and me...
Edited on Sun Dec-06-09 07:51 PM by Orrex
I guess that makes a total of three people who listen to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
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NightWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. thank goodness, I couldnt remember where I heard that earlier
wait wait dont tell me
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:55 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. I listen to that show whenever I feel that my Liberal mindset has grown insufficiently smug.
And don't forget the elitism!
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 08:08 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. And this is not the first of his lines that I've ripped off...
nor is the first time I've been caught.

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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. We're Watching You.
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:28 AM
Response to Reply #3
26. I'm number 4!!!
:hi:

I always try to catch it. It's always a laugh riot!!
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Po_d Mainiac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. But he's not a tiger he's a cheetah n/t
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GoCubsGo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:06 PM
Response to Reply #8
27. I think I've been spending too much time on political boards...
When I first heard that one, I thought it was racially derogatory. Too many images of Barack Obama as a chimp by the racist right made me think of Tarzan's monkey sidekick, "Cheetah." That, despite the fact that the comparison didn't make any sense in this situation. Then, it finally occurred to me that the joke was referring to a cat. Doh! :blush:


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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 08:50 PM
Response to Original message
9. Crashing Tiger, Hit a Hydrant (saw something like that on the DU)
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Probably Crashing Tiger, Hidden Hydrant. nt
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. I think that is it. Thanks.
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
10. what's the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards...
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. Excellent!
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #10
20. OK i'm laughing my ass off
:rofl:

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mwooldri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
16. I can remember Terry Wogan talking about it now....
He said something like "Don't play golf with them Tiger Woods, they're vicious and will bite you back!"

Was a long time ago... so can't remember the exact quote but then I may qualify for being a T.O.G. one day - and am probably approaching it quickly.

Question is, do I come here often?
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 11:57 PM
Response to Original message
17. I prefer my jokes in pictorial form...
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #17
21. Oh that's brilliant!!!!!
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 01:39 AM
Response to Reply #17
22. i like that 'wife' better than the real one...
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
18. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
tekisui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. oh.
:spank:

How perfect, though.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #18
23. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
NYC Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 02:25 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:21 AM
Response to Reply #18
25. I alerted on this racial joke. nt
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