My mother would have been 86 years old today.

[Bossy Monkey]

Alzheimer's, or senile dementia, or whatever the hell it was, is a hell of a thing. It robs you of the person years before she dies (which was 6 years ago, a couple of weeks past her 80th birthday), makes you do your mourning while she's still living, and makes the actual funeral more of a celebration of her release. The nursing home where she was living took a picture of her for her 78th or 79th birthday, dressed up in a birthday hat and all alone. I don't even know when or why, because my dad visited her every day for hours a day; surely they knew that and could have taken the picture with him there. Regardless, it was the most sad, happy picture I ever saw. She looked pleased, but bewildered, like she knew she was supposed to be happy but didn't know why. I always wanted to write a poem about it, but never could. The poem would have been called "1000 Words."

[latebloomer]

1. So sorry, Bossy Monkey

It's a terrible disease, and yes, you lose the person long before they physically die.

[Bossy Monkey]

2. Thanks. For a while, the dreams I was having at night about having her back well and whole

bothered me a bit, only because I would wake up pissed that it wasn't true, but now I just treasure them, like the real memories.

[suninvited]

3. Maybe someday

you will write that poem.

[Bossy Monkey]

4. Could be. I would say I need to find the picture first, but it's pretty much blazoned on my memory.

And this coming from the guy with practically no visual memory at all.