to the grammar nazis here on DU

[SCantiGOP]

memorize these rules and follows them so we can haz no more disagreements:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They are old hat).
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than unnecessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Profanity is for assholes.
26. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shattering ideas.
27. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
<“it’s” = “it is”, “its” = possessive form of “it”>
28. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
29. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
30. Puns are for children, not for groan readers.
31. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
32. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
33. Who needs rhetorical questions?
34. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
And finally . . .
35. Proofread every space and letter carefully to see if you any words out.

[cwydro]

1. Lol!

Very good.

[mainegreen]

2. +5!

[Shell Beau]

3. Love it!!

Oops! I do overuse the exclamation point!!!! x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. Der Grammar Überhauptsturmbannführer sez:

I committed these to memory 30 years ago when my college journalism advisor gave us printed copies. :)








Only you can prevent poor grammar. :patriot:

[Call Me Wesley]

10. Journalists use grammar rules?

Wow, I wouldn't have thought of it seeing some headers from them.

Fun fact: DER SPIEGEL is obnoxious for making words up, hence, still one of the most respected weekly magazines. Or is its weekly's magazine's?

P. S. There is no such term as 'Überhauptsturmbannführer.' It should be 'Reichsminister Spellingz und Beierhund.' Just sezing ...

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. Is so!

I made it the fuck up. :P

[Call Me Wesley]

20. So is!

And ze Google, when ze me googeling for ze wort 'Überhauptsturmbannführer,' only shows ze Oeditpus Rex! no f**k involved, though, because this would make it rather ... Kinsky.

How about, regarding grammar rules and their appearance in modern media, giving yourself the title of 'Grammarleiter?'

[TK421]

5. 36. Get out more often

[Deep13]

6. Ain't that the truth?

You had to explain the its/it's thing? Wow.

[HopeHoops]

7. I have something almost identical in a FAX from 1981 or so.

Not sure where it is, but I know I saved it.

[DS1]

8. Ha ha nice

"Hey, wait a minute!"

[Blue_Tires]

9. great stuff

we ought to have an individual forum for grammar nazi party members...

[BarenakedLady]

11. Hee

Thanks for the giggle.

[Deja Q]

12. You want me and you know it.

:P :rofl:

[Bucky]

13. Most of these are wrong enyway (split infinitives, closing prepositions, starting conjuctions)

Split infinitives, closing prepositions, and starting sentences with conjuctions are all perfectly okay.

[underpants]

14. Thank's for that its great!!!

[FloridaJudy]

15. And never begin a sentence with a conjuction,

Don't verb nouns.

[FloridaJudy]

16. Comma splices are inelegant, avoid them. eom

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. Unless you're British, the British have different rules than we do, they're weird

[Call Me Wesley]

22. Indeed!

And they have words that can never be used anymore, either:

B*M
B*TTY
P*X
KN*CKERS
W**-W**
SEMPRINI

:crazy:

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. Semprini?

:shrug:

[struggle4progress]

17. Its to mush advise four won riposte

[UrbScotty]

21. WHAT ABOUT ALL CAPS AND EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Darth_Kitten]

24. Maybe the anti-grammar Nazis should learn how to spell?

After then get over themselves, of course.

[SharonRB]

25. ROFL

:rofl: