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Chopsticks = eating with a pair of knitting needles.

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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:38 AM
Original message
Chopsticks = eating with a pair of knitting needles.
Seriously. I'm a fairly dextrous human being. And I don't prefer a fork just so I can shovel more food in my face; I like to savor my meals small bits at a time.

But I just don't get chop sticks. As Bill Bryson once said, you'd think that a culture as rich and ancient as the Chinese culture is would devise a means of conveying food to mouth that doesn't involve using a pair of knitting needles.

They're especially inefficient with rice.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:40 AM
Response to Original message
1. But they're easy to use with the short-grain rice that is more common in Asia
When I first learned to use chopsticks, I got cramps in my hands, but after thirty years, I find them to be second nature.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:40 AM
Response to Original message
2. If you are trying to pick up Uncle Ben's fake rice one grain at a time, sure.
A lot of the Asian varieties are sticky - you can grab clumps. Also, they chopsticks are often used like a shovel, holding the bowl close to the mouth. Sitting up straight and picking up one piece of food at a time as if you were cutting and eating a steak doesn't work quite so well with some foods.

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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
3. I think if you eat with chopsticks when a fork is available you're pretty much an asshole
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. !
:D
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rcrush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Especially when they act like its something they do all the time.
When I go to a chinese restaurant with a couple of white friends that I have its really funny that I'm the only asian in the group not eating with chop sticks. There are forks on the table but they are trying to look cool eating with chopsticks. Makes me want to smack them upside the head.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #5
22. aww I like to use them with Asian food.
Just part of the dining experience. Not trying to be cool. Got proficient in my teens traveling the North Pacific over a few months (Hawaii, Taiwan, Japan).
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TommyO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 10:57 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. Forkophiles are the true assholes
thinking that just because they choose to eat with forks, everybody else should be forced to!

:popcorn:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. 4Q2
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TommyO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. 4QMe? I hardly even know ye!
Now, back to dining utensils...
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. Forkers aren't even close to being in the majority
Of the world's population, 1/3rd eat with forks, 1/3rd eat with their hands, and 1/3rd eat with chopsticks.
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RadiationTherapy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #3
13. I would like to fashion some utensils that affix to the fingertips
like the Skeksis in the Dark Crystal.

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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
9. If the rice is the sticky kind, its very easy to eat with chopsticks.
I generally use them just for the fun of it. But if there are leftovers (and there usually are) the rice isn't as well stuck together by then, so I go back to using a fork then. :)
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NYCGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
10. I've heard that the Eastern cultures look down upon the use of knives and
forks as eating utensils, considering it "butchering" the food at the table.
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Exactly
Their food is also prepared such that it is intended to be eaten one morsel at a time rather than shoveled in your pie hole.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. But ... Pie Hole Shoveling is what we do here in 'Murika!
Why do you hate 'Murika?!



:rofl:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:30 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Repressed pie shoveling is the reason the Japanese beat us at hot dog eating competitions
Besides, who would want to base themselves off such a fucked up society?
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Just because you use chopsticks, doesn't mean you have to pray to a giant penis shrine
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. You don't HAVE to, you GET to!
Just fyi, though, I really don't want a large number of worshipers outside my house. I mean, honestly, find your OWN huge penis to pray to.
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. If they are using chopsticks, are you sure it's really that big?
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Ouch. I deserved that.
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #20
24. You walked right into it, I'm afraid
Someone had to say it.
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
17. Maybe chopsticks represent more than a way to shovel food into your mouth.
Maybe they represent tradition, and connection to things larger than just a way to put food into your mouth.

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blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
21. I have no trouble using them
But then, etiquette rules are different in cultures that use chopsticks as utensils. For example, it's perfectly acceptable to pick up one's bowl and hold it close to the mouth.

I will admit, I did make a tatting needle out of a chopstick. :)
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. they make good bun pins for long hair too
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-26-09 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
23. You must be hungry.
Otherwise,just go with the flow and use them when dining out.
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