So, my kid now knows racism exists

[LuckyTheDog]

With the election of Obama -- and the fact that MLK Day fell just before the inauguration -- the topic has become unavoidable. My son (7 years old) is asking questions about racism -- which he was blissfully naive about until now.

This is complicated by the fact that he is adopted and is of Puerto Rican and African-American heritage, whereas my wife and I are pretty much as white as they come. We're handling this delicately. Very delicately. The boy knows he is adopted, which kind of helps. But it is hard to convey the gravity of the topic in an age-appropriate way.

The whole concept is confusing to him, as you might expect. We live in a mixed-race neighborhood which is one of the best examples of casual racial harmony I have ever known. Race is just plain not an issue around here -- at least not among the neighbors I know. My son also has plenty of friends of various backgrounds and doesn't understand why anybody should care about skin color. And what can I tell him except that he's right... it really DOESN'T matter and anyone who thinks it does matter is just plain stupid.

Any advice on how else to proceed?

(edited for clarity)

[Danger Mouse]

1. Tell him that some people learn at a very young age, his age even...

learn to hate.

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Say that the most important thing about people is not their appearance at all

but their actions, or inactions.

I was adopted at birth, and told young, so I spent my time knowing that I could easily, unknowingly belong to any group I might choose to reject. It was good perspective.

Hope it goes well.

[LynzM]

3. We started addressing this when our daughter was 4...

She was friends with an adopted girl at school, who happened to be from Kenya, I believe. She asked about the color of her friend's feet... so we talked about how people have different colors of skin. End of conversation, at that time.

We've talked in general ways about how "some people" think that the color of your skin or hair matters, or how some people don't think that two boys or two girls should kiss, but that mom and dad don't believe those things. I think that at her age (6), that's enough. For your son, I can see it being confusing, but I think it's very important to be as matter-of-fact, but general, with kids as possible. They will learn the awful details soon enough, but for now your confirmation that his beliefs sounds like a good start. :hug: