The last thing I want to do at the supermarket is calculate the value of toilet paper

[graywarrior]

Why is this so complicated? Why is a 4/pack of Scott tissue $3.89 and the Hannaford brand $2.50? Why do some brands have lots and lots of paper that last a week but others you can use up in a day? And then there's the three layered fancy crap with more cleaning power. Who buys that?

And why in hell should we pay almost a buck a roll just to have it flushed down the toilet? Does this seem right? If you have a bidet, does that mean you can get rid of toilet paper? Why can't we use newspapers? We can get some of those for free. What the hell?

Why do we have to use that stuff anyhow? What did they use 100 years ago? We should use the right hand for tp, left hand for eating method. That could save trees and money.

I wasted at least 10 minutes standing in the toilet paper aisle today trying to reason all this out. The only conclusion I came to is that Hannaford's brand is cheaper than any other brand including anything you can get at Walmart. Now I am wasting more time obsessing and fuming over this as no one will respond which is probably the smartest thing to do. WTF?

[MrCoffee]

1. 230 words

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[Inchworm]

43. Thanks for the warning!

werds werds werds! toilet paper!!

:rofl:

[mainegreen]

2. Just get the Hanni 1-ply 4 pack. It's the best value.

It's the dark blue one.

I go for the dark blue one. Makes it all so simple.
Toilet paper should not be complicated, and to put pictures on it is an abomination.

[Chan790]

3. Some answers.

Some TP is more expensive because it's rolled denser meaning you're getting more product...also advertising.

Chrys buys the 3-ply. (Don't ask who Chrys is.)

Yeah, if you have a bidet you can not-buy TP. You'll have to wash more towels though. A wet ass is an unhappy ass.

100 years ago they used paper scraps, cloth, broadsheet and tabloid newspapers, the Sears-Roebuck catalog. It was an easier time because people had outhouses and no septic system to fubar. It you lived in the city and had a WC...you used toilet paper.

[graywarrior]

7. Sears catalog

*snort*

[redqueen]

4. I just get the kind that's made from recycled paper.

Seventh-Generation or whatever it is.

[MineralMan]

5. So that was you blocking the aisle for 10 minutes?

I figured it was someone who had just locked up for a while. Never mind.

TP is a horrible decision. The only thing that's worse is when I pick up feminine hygiene products for my wife at the store. I go into lockup immediately. Wings? No wings? Sticky strip? No sticky strip. Regular, Heavy Duty, Extra Heavy Duty. What's a guy to do? Make the wrong choice and I'm in deep doo-doo.

I finally remembered once to tear the flap off the box before I went to the store. It simplified my life immeasurably.

BTW, the choice of the TP is my wife's, too. She's very delicate and sensitive, so she won't use the old standard kraft paper tissue I prefer. :bounce:

[graywarrior]

10. Thank god those days are over

[CreekDog]

6. Hey!

I'm trying to eat lunch here. x(

[flvegan]

8. You have a whole aisle dedicated to toilet paper?

What an odd store.

[graywarrior]

11. It's a shitty store

[rucky]

9. I think we found our next Andy Rooney

[trof]

12. I use a belt sander.

Very efficient.
One belt lasts for about a year.
Very economical too.

[graywarrior]

20. Define efficient.

[trof]

37. This may be TMI, but...(butt?)

Since I started using the belt sander I've NEVER had a problem with hemorrhoids.
I have the anus of a newborn babe.
:-)

[graywarrior]

49. Do you use roto rooter when you're constipated?

[buzzycrumbhunger]

13. I have a bathroom fantasy. . .

since a friend reported her trip to Japan and the fantastic invention there called the washlet--you just plop on the preheated seat and go (the stall may also have music options if you plan to be there a while) and when you're done you push a button and a little jet comes out and squirts you clean, then a blow dryer, a blast of air freshener, and then it closes when you get up. No muss, no fuss, and no TP necessary. It's just that when she first told me this, they sold for about $5K. Now, you can buy a washlet seat to convert your existing toilet, so the dream may become more do-able.

Oddly enough, the Japanese don't care for the Western toilets. She had a crib sheet that showed the location of the washlets all over and there was never a line to use one. OTOH, the Japanese ladies would line up for a block to take their turn at the traditional loo, which is pretty much a hole in the floor.

*sigh* Yes, it's pretty sad when one's dearest fantasy involves toileting. :eyes:

Back on topic, you have to factor in the square footage with the price. I just go with the old Publix (FL chain?) recycled stuff. Once Kleenex felt they'd established their TP enough and raised their price on a par with Charmin, et al, I rebelled and went low tech. Now, anything too thick or two-ply just seems wasteful.

[trof]

14. In my favorite Paris bar/bistro...

A hole in the tiled floor with a brass footprint on either side.
A grab bar for squatting.
;-)

[Fleshdancer]

19. those are the worst!

I was 8 months pregnant and having to use the restroom every 5 minutes. I was in a small train station in Tokyo and the restroom had no toilets, just hole and a bar like you described.

Let's just say that squatting is a horrible way for a very pregnant woman wearing pants to do. 8 years later I'm still pissed off about that one restroom. :grr:

[trof]

35. It's a wonder you didn't deliver right there.

;-)

[graywarrior]

21. I'm moving to Japan

[buzzycrumbhunger]

34. But look!

Only $1200 and you can have an upgrade right here!



(Damn, I need a sugar daddy.)

[graywarrior]

46. Hmmmm, that's about 400 4/pks of Scott

What a bargain.

[trof]

42. Not so fast. The standard Japanese squat toilet:

Good luck.

[graywarrior]

50. I see toilet paper.

[Fleshdancer]

31. those toilets intimidate me

too many buttons x(

One thing I do miss about Japan are the bathtubs. All my bathroom fantasies have one.

[WinkyDink]

15. Just compare 2 things: "ply" and "sq. in."

[graywarrior]

22. Oh god...visions of Sister Marietta tormenting me with math

aaaarrrrggghhhhhh!

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Scott is the best value. It goes the furthest.

Trust me on this. I know toilet paper.

The other stuff, Cottonelle, etc. are fluffed up with air, so they don't last as long.

Quantity AND quality.

It's a good thing.

[graywarrior]

24. So the fact that it's $1.39 more is a plus?

I do like Scott. I despise Cottonelle.

[Midlodemocrat]

30. Many moons ago, my dad sold fine paper products

and hospital supplies. Overwhelmingly, the hospitals chose Scott because it was the best value.

I buy it at Costco. Plus, the other stuff stops up the pipes here. I passed that little gem onto my neighbors who were having trouble and when they switched to Scott, no more issues.

[quakerboy]

38. and by value, you mean?

Hospitals, at least those of my acquaintance, buy institutionally. Whatever is the least expensive. Which does not always equate to the best value.

Some bums are more tender. Others are dealing with hemorrhoids. Others are made of iron. Others dispense liquid, and still others dispense tar.

The value of any particular square of TP is highly subjective.

[Midlodemocrat]

40. Scott Tissue isn't puffed up with air

like cottonelle or Charmin. Therefore, it doesn't 'swell' in the pipes and potentially clog the sewer, etc.

And, my dad, if I might brag a bit about him, was a legend in regards to doing the right thing for his clients. He only sold them the best and most effective and cost effective product. Honestly. He sold to all the hospitals in CT for many, many years.

And, in terms of hemorrhoids, etc. obviously, there were other products to deal with the same.

It's just a better deal for the average user. In terms of lasting longer.

[graywarrior]

44. No shit!!!

Well that settles it. Scott it is.

[kath]

51. yep, Scott 1000-sheets-per-roll (not the new "deluxe" version or whatever it's called) is definitely

the best bargain.

[Fire Walk With Me]

17. Many right-wing celebrity books are available for less than toilet paper

with a greater overall yield. :thumbsup:

[Name removed]

26. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[azmouse]

18. The size of the rolls keeps getting smaller too.

And it's not just the number of sheets on the roll, it's the width of the rolls.

I buy in massive quantities at Target, especially when TP is on sale.

[graywarrior]

27. What brand?

[azmouse]

32. Cottonelle

I noticed when I bought a new pack sometime last year and still had a few rolls left from the old pack. I don't know why I noticed. I think it was only about 1/4" but for some reason I had compared the two packages and saw the difference. Small amount sure but multiplied by the hundreds of thousands of rolls made and it adds up.

[TommyO]

56. It just allows them to sell double, triple, and even bigger rolls

for more money. I suspect a standard roll will soon hold just enough paper for one use, you'll need to get the 20x roll to get any real amount of paper.

[rug]

23. Don't forget to factor in two-ply vs three-ply.

[gmoney]

25. The Cottonelle double rolls last a while

I usually buy the ridiculously huge package of 24 rolls or something, which is actually 48 rolls, and one of those will last me the better part of a year. I hate going to the grocery store, so if I can stock up on something like that, I will.

Never used a bidet, but it seems like it would be terribly unpleasant, even if you could count on the water to be warm.

Quality toilet paper is a measure of civilization. You are in the land of plenty. Enjoy it.

[graywarrior]

28. Somehow paying $30 for a year's supply of tp makes me nervous

What if I got hit by a bus?

[gmoney]

36. You'd leave something to your family?

And as I recall, it's cheaper buying in quantity like that. Or maybe I'm only buying 12 double rolls, so it's equal to 24 standard.

[Midlodemocrat]

41. Sounds like Heaven to me.

:rofl:

When I was single, I had this morbid fear of running out of toilet paper. Series. It was nuts. This was back in the day of the 'colored' tp. I used to stock up at Stop and Shop.

When I got engaged and moved out, I had roughly 80 rolls. I'm surprised Mr. continued with the wedding. :rofl:

[graywarrior]

45. I used to be that way too.

In fact, I remember living in a big house with 5 other roommates and we had tp wars, stealing it from one another.

Oh and I loved the pink.

[quakerboy]

39. Wow

I was that way. Then I got married. Now a Cottonelle 24 double pack is lucky to last 2 weeks.

[hobbit709]

29. I only have two criteria for toilet paper

1. It doesn't scratch my ass
2. It doesn't shred in my hand when I wipe.

All other things like quilted, printed pattern or scented are immaterial.

[Jamastiene]

33. Uhm, you're doing it wrong.

You should calculate by sheets per roll x number of rolls per pack, then do the same to another similar pack. If not, you had better plan on getting a fancier calculator. That's gonna cost, you know?

I use Angel Soft. It's soft on my tushie.

Yes, you can use crumpled up magazine pages in a pinch (don't ask me how I know that) and newspapers, if you don't mind ink on your ass that isn't a tattoo and piles the size of grapefruits.

[graywarrior]

47. I have a friend who used poison ivy.

Seriously. We never ever let her forget it.

[SoxFan]

48. Which reminds me of something...

Whatever happened to the guy they found in the outhouse on the Kancamagus in Albany a few years ago? When I say in the outhouse, I mean in the pit itsef.

[graywarrior]

57. Here, picture and all

http://www.kitv.com/news/5163746/detail.html#

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

52. Just use the three shells. -nt

[Arugula Latte]

53. What's wrong with a page of Sears Roebuck catalog?

Durn kids these days! Why, back in my day, we were happy to have a catalog sheet. We didn't have any of this fancy 2-ply this or quilted that. We got our asses clean, and we didn't complain. We didn't have any of these fancy flushing mechanisms, either. Why, a two-seater outhouse was fancy to us. Sure, sometimes the onions from our belts fell into the holes, but we weren't afraid to fish 'em out, neither.

[pokerfan]

54. I do all my shopping online these days

You mean we aren't supposed to use this?



After all, it is called a toilet brush. It's reusable (green) and you can clean it in the sink...

:hide:

[Arugula Latte]

55. Well, at least you get some exfoliation at the same time.

:)

[graywarrior]

59. I had friends in high school who spent hours in the bathroom with a Sears catalog

or a Spiegal

[Arugula Latte]

63. Okay, that's frightening.

[graywarrior]

64. I dunno, the plaid jacket with the striped tie

Yowza!

[sarcasmo]

58. Leaves are cheaper.

[graywarrior]

60. Pine leaves

Hahahahahahahahha!

[sarcasmo]

61. You got it, LOL.

Maple would be softer and they are bigger, :)

[graywarrior]

62. More potential for holes

You'd have to double them up.