WARNING: 7 New viruses lurking. BEWARE!!

[RoadRunner]

Symantec announced today it has discovered SEVEN (maybe more) dangerous new viruses that are a threat to everyone:

Bush virus - trashes your computer, screws everything up, blames it on Clinton, then asks for four more years.

Ashcroft virus - searches every folder looking for suspicious jpg files to report back to the Homeland.

Scalia virus - deletes every reference to decency and common sense on your hard drive.

Cheney virus - doesn't really like the virus wars, it has "other priorities"

Rush virus - rummages through all your files looking for your Rx numbers.

Drudge virus - scans all your files; if it finds "intern" or "sex" anywhere on your hard drive it triggers a flashing light on an obscure right-wing website.

Jeb Bush virus - does a global scan for "black" and "voter", if it finds a match it takes you off the voter roll in Florida forever.

[Gung_Fu]

1. HA HA HA AH AH HA HA HA HA...

ohhh, I think I just peed myself.

[efhmc]

2. Too cute.

[freeforall]

3. LOL! Good one RoadRunner! eom

.

[SmileyBoy]

4. Doesn't matter anyway. I have a McAfee shield.

:)

[flaminbats]

5. but wait!!!

the Ridge virus...issues a yellow and grey alert when you're online!

the Hatch-Hollings virus...it destroys your entire operating system if you attempt to download any MP3s from international websites for free.

the Greenspan virus....can only get bad credit if you apply for it online!

the Zell virus....replaces your operating system with the TANDY 1000 operating system, any other would go against America's National Security Interest, and no un-American, liberal words included in the spell checker for WORKS.

Tenet virus...allows terrorists to selectively enter and arrange info in your operating system undetected.

[RoadRunner]

6. and don't forget the Mel Gibson virus

violently smashes your hard drive, blames it on Jews, then claims it's being persecuted.