I think I may have lost a friend. One more bad thing I don't need.

[Critters2]

On top of lots of other crap I'm dealing with right now, a friend is really pissed at me. She's one of my few conservative/Evangelical/Republican friends. I was staying with her on this trip I've been on. We watched the convention and talked politics some, and I said things that I would have said with no problem among my progressive friends, but she really took offense. The breaking point was when we got home from a day of tourist things, and turned on the computer to see who McCain had chosen for his VP. When I saw it was a woman, I said, "It's really cynical of him to think he can hook the Hillary voters with a woman VP." I really didn't think it was that big a deal, but my friend said I'm always accusing Republicans of being sneaky and duplicitous and dishonest. She was really pissed.

The thing is, I DO think Repugs are sneaky and duplicitous and dishonest. I can't see how she doesn't see that. Then she says to me that she doesn't follow politics and can't be expected to know as much as I do. Why can't she?! This is a woman who doesn't take any newspaper, admits she doesn't watch the news, but is bright enough...she has an M.Div. But she chooses not to know anything, and just votes Repug because she always has...or something, I don't really know why. Honestly, I think people who proudly admit they don't follow the news should just not vote. But if I'd said that, I'd have probably been asked to leave.

It does leave me wondering if one can have a friendship with someone who mindlessly votes for warmongering, economy-destroying policies for no good reason. I mean, maybe we're too different.

With everything else going on emotionally for me right now, I didn't need this. I feel badly enough about myself.

So, I came here to whine to my progressive friends. Please confirm for me that Repugs are evil and that no one should vote for them...EVER!!

On a happy note, my dad called while I was typing this and said some really unkind things about McCain and the GOP. Hey, my dad thinks I'm right!!!

Thank you for letting me rant. I think I'll go have another good cry.

[Haole Girl]

1. Been there. Lost a friend at work, under similar circumstances, last year.

This country gets a little more divided each day the * admin stays in power.

And, yes, nobody should vote for a Repug-- EVER! :hug:

[Critters2]

2. Thank you, KC2!! I needed that!

:hug:

[Aristus]

3. Repugs are evil and no one should vote for them...EVER!

B-)

[Critters2]

5. Thank you!!

:hi:

[Aristus]

8. Anytime...

:hug:

[AirmensMom]

4. Join the crowd.

I lost a friend just before the 2004 election over politics. Now my neighbor is giving me the cold shoulder b/c I told her not to send me anymore repug hate mail (except I didn't say it like that).

I don't know if it's possible to be friends with people who are responsible for making our lives harder.

[Critters2]

6. That's the thing--these policies make our lives harder...

how do they not see that?!

So, maybe it's not possible.

[AirmensMom]

10. They actually believe the horse shit that's in those emails.

For instance, they really think the Dems are going to take all their money with higher taxes, for instance, but don't have a clue about how their income is already going down because of high energy prices. That is .. if they still have a job. And they don't bother to find out if the Dems actually WILL raise taxes -- they just assume so because an email said it.

My friend's husband had been laid off and they had a terrible time for a few years. I told her I didn't get how they could support Bush after everything they'd been through, but that was the last straw. She was furious with me and we never were able to patch it up.

[Lil Missy]

7. Sometimes, the truth and being right is not enough. You said it yourself,

you are much more informed, and she is mindlessly walking in lock-step without any information at all.

Don't let her take up space in your head or self esteem. You're right, she's and idiot, end of story.

:hug:

[Critters2]

9. Part of the problem is that, these days, I don't feel like I have enough friends to just

toss one off easily. But I may have to. Or maybe she already has.

[Lil Missy]

11. You didn't. She did. You don't have to "settle" for assholes or ignorance.

Your principles are much more important than her personality. And you deserve better.

What goes around, comes around, ya know?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. you can write her a long email showing her how many instances republicans have been duplicitious

or you can lie and say you are cynical and all politicians are duplicitous

sorry

[Critters2]

13. I tried giving her some instances, pretty major ones, like WMD.

She didn't want to hear it. I prob'ly need to shake the dust off my shoes and move on.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. well sorry...you are still working on leaving your town right?

[Critters2]

15. Yeah. Hope to be gone within a few months.

It's a long process, but I've begun.

[lunatica]

16. People really hate waking up

Because it usually means they have to face something very unpleasant and they would rather not. Your friends admitted she doesn't know much so she couldn't have been mad at you for saying something wrong (which you didn't) and why would she get mad unless you're making her face something. Ask yourself sincerely why she's really getting mad at you. You know her and you can figure it out even though you think you don't. It's your turn to wake up to what your friend is telling you about herself.

Waking up also has its stages, just like grief. The first step is always denial. It's just plain not wanting to accept facts.

[Critters2]

17. This is very helpful. It makes sense that she's in the denial stage.

Thanks!

[applegrove]

18. Sorry about your friend. Now we know who the people are who would vote

for the GOP.

Cry it out. You may then be able to let it go. Politics is really important but so are friendships. Maybe you just should never talk politics again with this person and you will keep out of trouble that way.

[SmokingJacket]

19. I would find it hard to be close friends with a Republican.

I have lots of R. relatives that I get along with, but I have to!

My closest friends are all Democrats. I think we have to share basic values.

The only way I can maintain a relationship of any kind with a republican is if we NEVER talk about politics. I'm just too emotional and invested in the issues.

If you decide to keep this friendship, it might have to be a more distant and formal one where you avoid certain topics...

Hugs to you. :hug:

[Sanity Claws]

20. Call her

Tell her that you value her friendship and would hate to lose it. Promise that the two of you avoid all political talk in the future.
Have you ever thought that she might realize some of these things on her own if she didn't feel that you were imposing your opinion on her? Your arguing with her may be making her more intransigent in her opinions.

[InvisibleTouch]

21. Do you need such a "friend"?

It sounds like the association is more stress and trouble than it's worth. That might sound callous, but we all only have so much time and energy to go around. I'd seriously reconsider wasting it on someone with whom you're likely to have constant conflict. Better for you and better for her to part company, IMO.

[pokerfan]

22. Not surprising

"M.Div." That's your answer right there. For far too many, religion is synonymous with turning off the mind. After all, all the answers were written down two thousand years ago.

"Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding." -Martin Luther

[crim son]

23. I'm sorry about your friend.

I have had a similar experience, except my friend said that she "didn't have to have a reason" to support the Bush admin, she just did. It was an astonishing confession from an otherwise smart girl, and I was never quite able to regain my respect for her. I do have trouble respecting republicans because on the surface it seems we share no values. :hug: But if you have had a solid friendship then I'd let a bit of time go by and try to forget your disagreement. No talking politics! :hug: