Okay. Younger men - I mean younger than forty. Serious question.

[crim son]

Why would young men hit on an older woman? I don't get it. I'm tempted but it seems... odd. I'm 45 and I'm talking men as young as 28 but through their thirties too. What are they hoping for? Be honest.

On edit: This is a serious question which I will have to sleep on, because it's late. Goodnight, DUers. Enjoy.

[TroglodyteScholar]

1. Sugarmama? n/t

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. They are hoping for sex. n/t

[Sidney J Mussburger]

51. Bingo

from a 27 year old who isn't an ageist. Sex is sex. I'd guess I'm not in the minority on this from people my age.

[lizziegrace]

3. I dated someone 16 years younger than me

(I'm 47) It was okay at first but 16 years is a generation. I didn't get most of the pop-culture references he used because I was raising Lelapin when he was growing up. We had little in common except a mutual attraction (lust mainly) and I was not looking forward to being 66 when he was 50. There's a mid-life crisis waiting to happen. I realized I needed someone who was a contemporary.

He was divorced and fortunately didn't have small children. That way he didn't have to go from changing toddler's diapers to changing mine...

Just my personal experience. PM me if you want.

:hug:

[Lethe]

4. good question

i'm 29 but i like older women. Never really thought about it. Always thought they were sexy.

I think maybe because older women are more mature and know what to expect. Also, they know what they want out of the relationship. It just seems like there is less BS. They understand men and what they need.

edit:

it's fucking hot and you need it.

[rockymountaindem]

5. Maybe they're hoping you'd pay for all the dates

Alternatively, maybe they just think you're attractive and/or mature. Take it as a compliment.

[cwydro]

6. Well now. I don't qualify here

for your sample group.

But I was always partial to older women. I'm a gay woman, so that may not translate for the guys, but I'm guessing that is what is going on with them too.

Women who are older often have something that the younger ones don't. And those of us who appreciate it, well we know what it is.:evilgrin:

[jberryhill]

7. My wife is 9 years older...

I hit on her because she's my wife.

[eauclaireliberal]

8. It feels uniquely erotic for some reason

My (wonderful) wife is thirteen years older than I am.

Women my age (when I was single) just didn't do it for me.

[jberryhill]

9. Not to mention....

That if you file taxes jointly, she'll be over 65 while you are still at peak earning.

If she's blind, that's a bonus!

[Fenris]

10. I didn't just hit on them, I married one.

1) Older women are more mature than girls my own age by a country mile.

2) Older women are more interesting to talk to and have far more interesting stories to tell.

3) They're fun, if you get my drift.

4) They're hot.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

16. OK Fenris

I think you've said it much better than I did:thumbsup:

[zanne]

36. I admire all you people who have dated outside of your age range

It's one thing to say that age doesn't matter--it's another to behave as though age doesn't matter. Kudos to you!

[MsTryska]

11. My target demographic seems to be the 20-somethings too

I'm in my mid-30s. But i look a lot younger, so that may be skewing my results. Actually I don't think I've ever been hit on by someone my age.

I had hooked up with this one guy - he was 31 - I told him i was 36 and he was like OMG - i've never been with someone as old as you before. I said that's funny - cuz I can say the same. Sadly that was it for him.

[u4ic]

12. I've had more 20 something men hit on me

from my late 30's till now (almost 42) then when I was in my 20's! (back then they were 30-50's)

I dated a man 12 years younger than myself for a time. I think it was more a combination of our personalities that didn't work rather than the age thing, but I also agree with lizziegrace that in terms of culture references, we were in two very different worlds.

I think some men just prefer women older than themselves, and it's not necessarily a sugarmomma, or even a I-never-had-a-mommy-will-you-be-mine? sort of thing.

[pookieblue]

19. the same thing for me

I'm having more 20 somethings hit on me, now that I'm in my 30's than I did when I was in my 20's. I can't help but to think, what's up with that?

.

[Ellen Forradalom]

13. We know what we want

and we know how to get it.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

14. As a 27-year old male

I've always been drawn to women signiificantly older than myself over my age. I'm drawn to their maturity, their beauty, their depth of emotion and their general overall attractiveness as human beings. As well as that, they generally know what they are looking for and are much more open-minded and understanding on their views and perspectives on issues. As someone with a physical disability, I've often found them to be more tolerant and open-minded in regards to my condition

I'm sorry -this probably sounds like gibberish because I'm hurrying off somewhere but hopefully it makes some sense

[KG]

24. oops

[MilesColtrane]

15. Some guys just dig cougar wrestling.

Most of them grew up watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, and Identified with Jim more than the safe-in-the-studio Marlin Perkins.

[DarkTirade]

17. I tend to be a little flirty with anyone I'm comfortable around

but as far as serious hitting on goes... for the most part I'm looking for someone who's in the same place in life as I am. If it's nothing serious or a case where I find someone who I REALLY click with, I might be willing to go outside my age range. But for now my general age range is as follows
under 20 - no way
under 24 - iffy
over 30 - iffy
over 35 - probably not

And you'll notice a bit of a curve there. I'm only 26, so my comfort zone lately has been on more on the high side than the low side. But I think part of that is just because starting last year the kids turning 18 and graduating high school were still in elementary school when I graduated, so the younger crowd is kinda freakin' me out. :P

But it really depends on how well I click with someone too. I have two friends who I woulda been willing to date had the opportunity arisen who are both in their mid-30s. And I met someone a few months back who was only 23 who I fell for pretty hard.

[TZ]

22. Damn

I'm in that "probably not" category..I'm crushed....;-)

[DarkTirade]

46. There's a reason I said 'probably' instead of 'definitely'.

:P

[Chan790]

25. Stop freaking out over the young'uns.

Remember when you were 12, how cool those 20 year old siblings of your school-chums were? Now remember being 20 and all of your younger siblings friends were in awe of you? You're still that cool to them.

Life is for enjoying. Enjoy life.

[DarkTirade]

45. Yeah, but once you get into 'I was old enough to change your diapers' then it just gets weird.

And it's none too long until the people that age are gonna be turning 18 and becoming legal adults. :P

[harmonicon]

18. because they like the person

I've never dated someone more than a year or two older than me, and not at all since I was in college. That's just how it's worked out though. My girlfriend now is 5 years younger than me, but that's not why I was interested in her - I had no idea how old she was when we met.

I have a friend who's dated a few women 10 or so years older than him (in their 30's, when he's in his 20's). For one woman at least, he did like that she was comfortable with sex and knowing what she wanted, and what he wanted. What ruined it for them was that she would have liked to get married and have a family, and he was years away from having any interest in that. The woman he's dated most recently (she was 35, he was maybe 27), I know that he was just very attracted to (she's a friend of mine, and she is ridiculously good looking), but I think he really liked that she also was in the same professional field, and they could talk about that together - also she's far more established than him, so there's no professional jealousy likely to happen. I don't think they're still together, but because it was a long-distance thing, not because of age or anything like that.

Something else: older single women will probably have jobs, and money. They won't be looking for men to sponge off of. That is very attractive.

[texasleo]

20. I like 'em all!

Older, younger, same age.

Just be old enough to drive, I mean vote.

:evilgrin:

[Chan790]

21. Any number of reasons:

(be they as varied as the population)

• Seeking to settle down.
  
• Seeking to date someone who isn't in a rush to settle down.
  
• Sexual experience
  
• Maturity
  
• Common interests
  
• Looking for someone who has gotten the "baby-bug" out of their system.
  
• Looking for someone who is looking to start a family.
  
• Attractiveness (Men will hit on anybody if that person is attractive.)
  
• Security
  
• Independence
  
• Someone who has their own things.
  
• A sugar-mommy.
  
• Just another item on "Life's to-do list."
  

Okay, that's a good start. Consider it this way, the next time you're in a crowded space like a mall or bar or whatever, pretty-much everybody around you has a different reason for wanting/not-wanting you. That might give you a good idea of how non-universal the answer is. Note that several items on this list conflict with several other items on this list.

Age is a number, date who you want.

[redqueen]

38. "as varied as the population"

There you go, the perfect answer. :)

[TreasonousBastard]

23. I'm not sure why I tended to prefer older women, but...

then I got older myself, and older women when you're 60 isn't like older women when you're 20.

Cute, tight, young bods certainly have their attractions, but I think a lot of men unconsciously realize that a certain amount of maturing is still going on and 30&40-somethings are generally far more aware sexually. Aware in a lot of other ways, too.

Ben Franklin had something to say about this, although some might get into high dudgeon over it. ('specially #8!)

http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html

[tigereye]

56. Franklin is always very entertaining, if somewhat impolitic for this day and

age.

[KG]

26. no longer under 40, but when i was, i was always attracted to older women

don't know why, just was. sill am.

my ex-wife was 13 years older than me. i still dig older women. they totally rock

[realisticphish]

27. maybe they like you

:shrug:

it's not necessarily a conspiracy, they may just be attracted to you

[mitchum]

28. Experience, someone with a well paying job,a nice car to borrow,gratitude...,

those were some of my reasons when that was my hobby

[Left Is Write]

43. Gratitude?

I guess when you're over 40, you should be grateful for any attention a man pays you, eh?

[mitchum]

52. No, I don't think that all (and have not thought so in a very long time)

however, the OP did ask for the motivations from the perspective of the younger man, not the older woman.

[redqueen]

55. Heh... I was trying *really* hard not to read that word that way.

I'm SO fucking glad I just don't give a shit anymore. :hi:

[bigwillq]

29. Some men are attracted

to older women.

Some are hoping for a quickie but some are probably hoping for something more meaningful. It all depends on the guy.

[RedShoes]

30. it's all the rage these days...enjoy it while it lasts. w00t. nt

[SoxFan]

31. I'm the wrong guy to ask

When we watch "Lost", I drool over Claire (Emily DeRavin), and my wife calls me a dirty old pev.

But when she drools over Locke (Terry O'Quinn), who is almost 20 years older than her, that's considered normal. And when she drools over Sayid and Desmond, who are about our age, that's normal, too.

I can't win!

[Chan790]

32. You have options.

You could either offer to shave your head or grow your hair out and stop washing it. I'm sure she'd appreciate the sentiment.

[SoxFan]

34. I tried the long, messy option in the 80s.

Epic Fail!

Maybe I could split the difference. Shave my head, carry a knife, speak with a brogue, and torture Kurds (but be all angsty about it).

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1
==================



This week is our third quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Please take a moment to donate! Thank you!

[City of Mills]

35. I've seen your pictures

I find you attractive, and I'm in my low-thirties ;) Also, younger sometimes seem to not know what they want in a partner and in life in general. Besides that, maybe you're funny, witty, warm and empathetic, there's a lot of reasons to why a younger man may find himself attracted to you!

[Pierre.Suave]

37. Simple...

You're HOT!

That is why, and that is the only reason any man needs...

:hug:

[redqueen]

39. Sweetie... just be glad you are getting hit on.

Seriously... that would do so much good for my ego... *le sigh*

Enjoy! :hi:

[Darth_Kitten]

40. I'm 40, don't look 30, and guys in their twenties check me out.

When you got it, flaunt it. :)

[Aristus]

41. Because she's spectacularly hot, maybe.

I was twenty-six when I started dating the woman who is now my wife. She was thirty-five. She was (and still is) staggeringly gorgeous, ferociously intelligent, and a very strong personality. She had just got divorced, and scads of guys started flocking around her, hoping for their chance. I kind of held back, because I didn't want to be associated with that crowd. And I didn't "hit on" her. But strangely, I was the one she noticed.

We started dating, and the rest is history. She is forty-eight now, and I'm closing in on forty. We're still crazy about each other.

Someone is out there for you, crimmy. Someone who will appreciate you the way we do. Don't settle for less, no matter how lonely it gets out there.

[Left Is Write]

42. I am not a younger man. In fact, I am an older woman. :D

My guess is that younger men who hit on older women are looking for the same thing they are looking for when they hit on younger women.

I'd also like to add that there's no reason an older woman SHOULDN'T get hit on. I'd hate to think we'd lose all sex appeal, personality interest, and general attractiveness just because we hit a certain age.

[Connonym]

44. I can think of a bunch of reasons

Older women aren't in a rush to settle down and have babies. Older women have stronger sex drives. Older women have better stories to tell. And this is really shallow but a lot of guys play in the shallow end of the pool -- with an older woman you can tell how gracefully they're aging and they've probably gotten as heavy as they're likely to. A lot of cute thin young women end up as really heavy and poorly aged 40 year olds. With an older woman you see what you're going to get. If that makes any sense.

Plus I think it's a fad right now.

[IndianaJones]

47. can't they just look at the younger womans mom? nt.

[Redstone]

48. Uh, 'cause you hot, so they don't care about your age?

Being serious here.

Redstone

[Deja Q]

49. You must be rich.

:evilgrin:

Bad joke; but playing on stereotypes can be rather fun.

Sexual attraction is likely a factor.

Maybe they dig your personality and want a relationship?

BTW: I'm 36.25 years of age, weigh 15.43 stone and a size 35 waist, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, salt'n'pepper beard but otherwise still look 29, had neck surgery at least once and am looking forward to the next one because maybe I'll be allowed to jog after that, am introverted, loves sci-fi and computers, can be self-centered but am caring in other ways to counterbalance that weakness, and am hoping to still be on this Earth for a while longer. :D

[blue cat]

50. because

you r hot.

[ccharles000]

53. I would never hit on a older woman.

Than again I would never hit on a younger woman seeing as I am gay.

[Throd]

54. Older women know how to boink your brains out.

[AngryAmish]

57. It seems like no one ever had "the conversation" with you

It is not my place to do so, but it begins with "Sometimes a man and woman love each other very, very much..."

[Solon]

58. Confidence is one attribute that is attractive...

Older women are much more confident than younger counterparts. Younger men, in addition, just like younger women, generally don't have that much confidence and don't exactly know what they want. As such, many younger men are extremely attracted to older women who display such confidence, don't play mind games, and are more direct with what they want. I would imagine that many younger women are attracted to older men for the same reason.

[Taverner]

59. Because there is nothing sexier than a confident, mature, beautiful woman?

Could be just me...then again I'm approaching 40 and I like women approaching 40

[JCMach1]

60. It's the popularity of MILF porn

[Missy Vixen]

61. This is happening with me, too

>I'm 45 and I'm talking men as young as 28 but through their thirties too.<

At first, I was horrified, now I'm enjoying it. It's flattering as hell!

Julie

[SarahB]

62. It's about self-esteem

You need to ask yourself, "Why wouldn't a younger man find me attractive?". You've got it, girlfriend. Flaunt you stuff and have some fun!

[HEyHEY]

63. Cause something about older women makes young men horny

I say this as a young man.

[FedUpWithIt All]

64. I just had a baby boy with my 23 yr old fella.

I am 36 this year. We had a very quick and pleasantly surprising courtship. I tell you i have never been this content. He is a GOOD man and is more mature than many men my own age.


:hi:

[Deja Q]

66. "courtship"? be careful, using ye olde English words will have others hounding you.

:(

[FedUpWithIt All]

69. Hmmm...in a good or bad way?

:scared: :shrug:

I actually USE words like those when speaking. Have no idea why. :rofl:

[Iggo]

65. I know why...

...but I'm 46.

[Evoman]

67. Heh...because older women can be a lot more...liberated.

They've done the boring shit a hundred times and now they want to do the interesting stuff.

[Schema Thing]

68. Well geez, what are men usually interested in when they "hit on" someone?

there's your answer.

[Lorien]

70. I'm 43 and getting a lot of the same

though my profile clearly states no guys under 35. What's really unnerving is getting hit on by guys at college campuses; they look like kids!

Personally, I think it's the Samantha Jones effect. Guys seem to think that every woman over forty who takes care of herself just wants a quick bang and then will send him packing. A LOT of my forty plus friends are experiencing the same thing, so there seems to be some sort of mass delusion going on out there. Never happened to me ten years ago, that's for sure.

[crim son]

71. That's what I think.

I have no doubt that some of the May/December relationships work (or should I say February/September?) and I'm glad for it. But I think it's about sex, the belief that someone my age is available or desperate for sex, or whatever.

Anyhow, I've read over the thread and have PM'd responses, not wanting to kick it. But it keeps a-kickin'!