I think good manners are a thing of the past.

[terrya]

Unfortunately.

Do parents even bother to teach their children basic good manners today? Saying "please" and "thank you", for instance?

Just wondering. Perhaps this isn't a huge priority, but still.

[DarkTirade]

1. Good what now?

I know not the words you are saying.

[terrya]

2. I almost didn't post this.

God, I'm coming off as "cranky old man" now.

Maybe I can quickly edit this into a "post a pic of cute kittens" thread.

[DarkTirade]

7. I felt like an old man today.

I just realized that all the kids going through my register today who were buying decorations for graduation parties and upcoming dorm rooms they'll want to decorate... were not even in middle school when I graduated high school.

[Darth_Kitten]

32. Somebody's "cute" kitten knocked me over to get to the wine coolers in the liquor store yesterday.

Why do they even let kittens in liquor stores? I just don't understand. :)

;)

[DS1]

3. Heck, if people would realize that it's key to getting good service

just about everywhere, more people would do it even if for the entirely selfish reason of getting better service.


I'm not quite sure if that's coming across right.

[LostinVA]

31. I completely understood that post, and you're right

[Richardo]

4. Chewing with mouths agape, coughing/sneezing without covering mouths,

It's awful.

[Ramsey]

48. Spitting in public

So totally rude!!

[leftofthedial]

5. yeah?

well fuck you.







:sarcasm:

;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

[Call Me Wesley]

6. Whatsamatter cranky ole man?

Here's your kitty:



I'm pretty glad my parents taught me good manners, which I still have. And I'm glad seeing my two nieces having them, too.

How's it going? :hug:

[terrya]

8. "Why, in my day".....

I was on the train today coming home...and these kids were just acting as rude as hell. Just got me to wondering. Of course you and your lovely wife are practioners of good manners. :-)

:hug:

I'm ok. Thanks for asking.

[Call Me Wesley]

9. Glad to hear you're OK.

I'm calling it a night here now. Have a wonderful evening! :hug:

[Darth_Kitten]

34. When I was young was always taught to say please and thank you.....

in fact, I was raised to have values which are kind of old-fashioned.

[Xipe Totec]

10. Some parents still do

I was at the drugstore the other day. Came to the end of the line to pay. A woman and two daughters was standing near. It wasn't clear if she was in line or not. I asked her to "please, go ahead".

One of the little girls (five or six years old maybe) smiled and stepped in line. Her mother motioned for her to step back and let me through.

"But, mommy, he said we could go first!".

I said, "thank you, but please go ahead, I can wait".

The mother smiled and reluctantly took her place in line ahead of me.

As we waited, the little girl said to her mother: "Mommy, he is so polite, he said please and thank you!"

So I know at least one mother who is teaching her children manners; not just to behave politely, but to recognize politeness in others.

Good work, mom, wherever you are.

:hi:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

11. A friend told me a few years ago that I "have very good manners"

That's one of the nicest compliments I've ever received. I hope parents are teaching their kids good manners - someone has to be polite in this crazy world.

[Brigid]

12. I think this issue is not as trivial as it may seem.

It goes to respecting yourself and respecting others. A little courtesy goes a long way. Too bad I don't see much in the way of parents teaching their kids manners these days.

[redqueen]

13. I don't think most people do, no.

*sigh*

[zanne]

14. Tell me if I'm wrong about this...

I've noticed that some people (I'll say people under 40) don't bother to wait until you go to the door before they come in. I'm talking about people I know, but it can still be kind of an intrusion if I'm not expecting them and I'm not completely dressed!

Has anybody else noticed this?

[Sequoia]

18. Don't you lock the door?

What is the senerio?

[zanne]

23. I lock my door at night.

I always unlock the doors when I get up. I don't know why; I've always done that. I just think it's strange that some people don't even wait for a "come in"! before they enter. Maybe I just walk around half naked too much, but hell, it's my house.

[Sequoia]

37. That's plain scary.

Once I was sitting on the couch and some guy was selling magazines and after knocking on the door we could hear him turning the knob only the door was locked. I told him to scram. It's your house and those people are rude to just walk in. Guess you'll have to lock the door now. But then they'd get all mad at you as if they had the right to walk in and you just be a rug. Just shoot 'em! (kidding)

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Well, speaking for the Midlets.

They actually all have very nice manners. :shrug:

[LostinVA]

33. It's the mother that needs some help

:hide:

[sasquatch]

36. LOL!!

:rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

16. Kids are still trainable. It's the boorish behavior of adults that makes me put on my cranky pants.

It annoys me more to witness such rudeness from an age peer than from a young person.

[Sequoia]

17. Hell yes, I do.

Adults tell me how my kid has such nice manners.

[femmocrat]

19. Most do; some, unfortunately, do not.

Take it from a teacher. We constantly reinforce good manners at school, though. Yet, I am still surprised at how self-centered children are. They can be outwardly polite and yet very inconsiderate of others. It's all a part of growing up, I guess.

As for the kids you saw on the train... How they act with their peers is no indication of what their parents taught them! ;)

[carlyhippy]

20. I have seen kids with better manners than some adults,,,,case in point

trying to get between 2 adults who stand in the middle of the aisle at the store talking, knows that I am standing there waiting for one of them to move, and neither do...

[just a girl]

21. Sadly I think you're on to something

A lot of the children that my son plays with don't understand "please," or "thank you."
I've had their parents tell me how polite my child is and how surprised they are by it.

A month ago a co-worker told me the story of introducing his 11 yr old to the grandparents for the first time and being appalled at how the son fought saying "thank you." He was telling me that the culture in America doesn't encourage manners, therefore he didn't raise his child with them. However, the culture where his parents live does, which left his parents were shocked that his son didn't understand these (simple) concepts.

If people new to the country think that being Americanized means ignoring your manners, perhaps there really is a larger issue here.

[raccoon]

35. A joke I read somewhere:

"What do you call a country where children respect their elders?

An undeveloped country."

I know there are many young people with good manners, and older people with bad manners.

[AlCzervik]

22. I did.

my daughter is well mannered, not being so in my house is not an option. I have one kid, maybe that makes it easier but we started taking her out to dinner when she was really little and her table manners are much better than many adults i've seen. She holds her fork correctly, napkin on the lap, uses the word "Entree" and always says please and thank you. If i were to ever to hear back from another parent of teacher that my daughter was rude or obnoxious i'd be really disappointed in myself and in her.

One of the best things anyone can do as a parent is to teach their children manners, you can go anywhere if you have them and you'll always be welcome.

Getting off the soap box now.

[Richardo]

25. ...

:applause:

My brothers and sisters-in-law have done very well with their kids, too. And they are always welcome.

[zanne]

24. When my three year-old niece meets someone,

She says "I'm glad to meet you". Cracks me up.

[CBHagman]

26. Some people still do teach/learn manners.

I know a number of parents who have been very careful to bring up their children to treat others with respect.

As for day-to-day practices, well, it's a mixed picture. There are people who can radiate class and decency and gentle manners while sweeping the street, and people who are completely the opposite. I must confess to a real problem with technology these days, as I feel the use of electronic devices is alienating us from what's happening all around and also from other people. Does everyone in the store need to hear every last syllable of the phone call? Do people need to text-message at the opera?

As for cheering yourself up, go for it. :hi: Pictures of corgis always do it for me. They just look happy.

[tjwmason]

27. My two-year-old nephew always says "please" and "thank you"

As soon as he was able to start talking his parents started to teach him.

**Editted to add.

I've noticed that even among children round here most still say "thank you" in shops and when leaving buses, etc.

[blueraven95]

28. in Baltimore, a project has been started about this

http://www.choosecivility.org/

That link should give you an idea of what's been happening here - it was started by a professor from Johns Hopkins, and from what I know of it, it's pretty cool.

[Zuiderelle]

29. Please is still the "magic word" in our house.

And according to the Backyardigans, "Please and thank you are the secrets of the Nile" so even children's shows are still teaching them.

[lightningandsnow]

30. I'm just socially awkward.

And I have, like, no spatial sense, so I bump into other people a lot. Despite the fact that I apologize, they usually seem to think I'm being rude. Sigh. Public service announcement: not everyone you think is being rude is doing it because they're a jerk.

But, yeah. "Please" and "Thank you" are simple enough, one would think.

[Dogtown]

38. Open carry!

Haint bin no manners since the good old days of western expansion and the Indian Wars.

[fizzgig]

39. i don't think it's just kids

i am constantly amazed at the boorish behavior i constantly encounter in adults. no please, no thank you, shoving past me when i'm trying to enter/leave a store (there are two doors there for a reason, asshats), etc, etc.

i was raised to be courteous and the types of manners i see exhibited (mostly by adults, but sometimes by teens/kids) would never have been tolerated growing up, and still wouldn't be today.

i have begun saying 'you're welcome' very loudly when i hold a door open for someone and they barge on past without any acknowledgment...some of the looks i get are priceless

[Pacifist Patriot]

40. Sadly, we parents trying to teach manner are being undermined and usually...

by the older generation. I have taught my children to call their elders "Mr. ___" and "Mrs. ____," hold the door open for someone behind them, ask first, say please and thank you.

They are instantly told not to bother with that fussy stuff, "call me Ted." (Okay fine, it IS courtesy to call someone what they prefer to be called.)

They have been glared at by women who think they are being facetious.

They have been told, "Oh don't stand on ceremony, help yourself to whatever you want!

Instead of a simple "you're welcome," their thank yous are met with "oh it's nothing." (Yes, that is a way of responding, but not exactly setting an example I'd like to see.)

Furthermore, the older generation is not watching behind them for people coming in the door. Goodness knows I'd be a rich woman if I had a dime for everytime a door was slammed in my face because the person in front of me couldn't be bothered to notice there was someone else on the planet.

You've hit one of my hot buttons because just this past month I started paying attention and hardly anyone is setting a good example for my children.

When the heck did the older generation give up on manners????

[La Lioness Priyanka]

41. but even on du, we appreciate and reward rudeness

a lot of the popular posters here are just plain mean and rude. not to say that i am past occasional snark, but some people's entire reputation is on bullying, snark and rudeness.

even if your parents taught you good manner, i doubt that society rewards you for having any.

i think agressive bullying is what is rewarded and reinforced.

[Parche]

42. Thank You For Your Post!!!

:woohoo: :woohoo:
:hi:

[LibDemAlways]

43. I'm a substitute teacher. I can say unequivocally that

a child with manners is a rarity. More often than not they are rude and hostile. A simple request to "Please take out a pencil and sheet of paper" is frequently met with "That's bullshit." It's been an eye-opener.

[LanternWaste]

44. it's tough sometimes...

There's a fine line I walk in this world-- e.g., to open a door for a lady, or not? I've gotten berated for both.

Maybe manners are slowly evolving, or maybe I am (or maybe both?). Once upon a time, it was considered extremely rude to wear a hat indoors. Now, it's culturally acceptable (though still silly-- why a hat indoors?).

There's a demographic out there that appears to be both self-satisfied and proud of themselves the more they are able to shock the ordinary passer-by with outlandish behavior or dress. I don't understand that either. But it also seems to be becoming a norm in our culture.

But yeah... there does seem to be a lessening of the fundamentals-- giving up a chair or a seat for someone who's physically handicapped or for a pregnant woman, eating with one's mouth closed, dressing as appropriately as possible for a function.

I dunno-- I'm a traditional kind of guy in a lot of respects and that probably has a lot to do with it. :shrug:

[Orsino]

45. I got yer good manners right here...

...if you would be so kind, sir.

[tigereye]

46. yes, and my kid also opens doors for people...

:hi:

It's the people who have forgotten how to wait (for anything) that drive me crazy...

[Ramsey]

47. Sadly, so true

I like to throw nice parties with good food and drink. I still send printed invitations by mail. I ask for an RSVP (by phone or email) so I know how much nice food and drink to have available. Every time I have a party, at least HALF the people I invite (all adults) fail to RSVP at all. Most of those people also don't come to the party, but occasionally someone doesn't RSVP and still shows up. I do use a 3 strikes rule: if someone doesn't RSVP 3 times, they don't get invited again.

Also, most people don't send thank you notes for gifts anymore. I don't really care, unless I have mailed something to someone, then I like to at least know they received it.

[Connonym]

49. I spent some time at the library this afternoon and thought the samed damned thing

people talking using their "outside" voices. Kids running around (which may be fine for the children's section) and yelling and they were with their parents but I didn't once hear the parents tell the kids to keep it down because it was a library. Hell half of the adults were being too loud also. I'm not saying that a library needs to be dead quiet. I don't even mind people conversing in a quiet voice but when they use a booming cell phone voice I have to wonder what the hell barn were they raised in? Speaking of cell phones, a large sign very clearly stating that cell phones are only to be used in the lobby -- totally ignored by dozens of people yapping away on them. I finally figured out what's so annoying about people talking on cell phones in public. A great many of them talk far louder than normal on cell phones. If they'd use a normal conversational voice level it wouldn't be irritating but no, they have to nearly yell. GRRRRRR It made me very grumpy. I was waiting for my little one to finish her tutoring session so I couldn't leave. Luckily for her they have sound-proof study rooms for tutoring.