I can just see all the guys here CRINGE while reading this

[CatWoman]

:)

Deadly snake bites penis

A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.

The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.

Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.

Shock

But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.

An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.

"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1221513.ece

[Deja Q]

1. Talk about a low blow...

:hide:

[arcadian]

2. That happens every other day in Australia

When I read "deadly snake" and "penis" I didn't have to read any further, I knew, Australia.

[Elidor]

3. Those are some strange snakes you got down there

Up here they mostly bite us on the ankles.

[Duer 157099]

25. Jeez, hopefully not to the same person!

Don't these guys learn?

[Fox Mulder]

4. He better enjoy it now...

because it'll probably never be that big again.

I'm kidding. This is horrible. I'm cringing while typing this.

[Shakespeare]

5. I have to ask. Did they suck out the venom?

SOMEBODY was going to ask. :shrug:

[bicentennial_baby]

6. !

:spank:

[Forkboy]

8. Great minds....

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

7. Can't believe not a single person sucked the poison out.

So-called friends these days. Pffft.

[undeterred]

14. He must not have had "private" insurance.

See, universal health care isn't all its cracked up to be. You still have to pay to get the very best treatment. :shrug:

[TZ]

9. Wow.

So umm someone was bitten "Down Under?":hide:

[cbayer]

10. He was crouching while taking a whiz?

Why would a man do that?

[YDogg]

19. methinks that was the beginning of his problem

[KamaAina]

11. Thus, the origin of the phrase "trouser snake"

:spank:

[Bucky]

12. Who was "a bit shocked and embarrassed," the man or the snake?

Cause you know how immature snakes are. All the other reptiles are probably calling that poor snake names.

[Monk06]

13. Snakes are very territorial and will immediately attack other snakes in their range.

[Xipe Totec]

16. ROFL!

A cassssse of missssstaken identity...

[Monk06]

21. They especially hate the Australian Helmet Head Python. n/t

[Xipe Totec]

15. victim: Call the doctor!

friend: doctor? my friend just got bit by a snake...

Dr: where?

friend: uh, in his... you know... ding dang doodle....

Dr: listen carefully. you have to make small incisions on the fang punctures.

friend: uh-uh, and then what?

Dr: then you have to suck the poison out.

friend: I see... well, thank you very much, doctor; I'll let him know. - click

victim: what did the doctor say?!


ex-friend: He said you're going to die...

[TK421]

17. LOL!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Xipe Totec]

18. I'm here till Sunday...

:woohoo:

[TK421]

22. That was a good one...I'll grant you that ....

:D

[mike_c]

20. bet he still wanted the hot young EMT to suck out the poison...

Just sayin'. It's not dirty or nuthin'. I mean, you gotta suck the poison out, right? :rofl:

[Canuckistanian]

23. Did he ask for medicine to take away the pain....

... but leave the swelling?

[havocmom]

24. .

[PermanentRevolution]

26. Oh, that's nothing!

Now, the candiru - THAT'S the stuff of nightmares!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSLKZzuLC00

[Orrex]

27. He asked the doctor to relieve the pain but keep the swelling.

"wrapped the man's member in plastic."

Shades of Laura Palmer.