Totally new "you might be a redneck" joke

[jmowreader]

Except it's not a joke, and it happened to me.

Earlier today, one of my boss's friends called us to see if she could get help moving some stage risers. No problem, right? She rented us a U-haul. We go to the county youth recreation center (gorgeous 100-year-old Southern Yellow Pine basketball court, incidentally) and pick up the risers. We then take them to a tobacco warehouse, where we unloaded them with a forklift and set them into place.

"What's the event?" I asked the lady who was in charge.

'It's my daughter's wedding reception. The groom's father owns this.'

So...if you're holding a society wedding reception for 1200 people in your father's tobacco warehouse, you might be a redneck.

[Cabcere]

1. I don't know whether to laugh or cry

because I can kind of relate. :shrug:

If your junior prom was held in a barn, you might be a redneck. (Yep, really. A barn. With a leaky roof. Good times.)

(Also, the theme for my freshman year homecoming dance was "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy," but I don't think that's quite as dramatic...) :shrug: :hi:

[mainegreen]

2. Better than a hotel conference room like so many people seem to do.

My wife and I were married in a barn.

[ThomCat]

9. I love the idea of getting married in a barn.

Or in a favorite clearing out in the woods. Wear comfortable shoes that you don't mind getting a bit dirty. :P

The last place I'd want to have a wedding is in sterile looking place where I have no emotional connection. I would want to remember the wedding very fondly for where it was held, as well as for the ceremony.

[Inchworm]

3. Woot! Improvise

LoL

One that was real here was...

If they have "cow-pie lottery" (I forget what it was really called) during half time at the high school football games, you just MIGHT be a redneck.

Info: They would sell raffle tickets where you picked a yardline. At half time someone would lead a cow to the 50 yard line and smack it's ass. The cow would walk.. usually veeery slowly.. until it took a crap.

Announcer: "And there she blows! Anyone pick the 39 yardline?!"

Funny stuff...

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

4. No wai...

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

6. I'm truthing!

LoL.. I keep saying. This place is void of progress. Well, ok.. that tradition has ended since they consolidated all the county high schools into one.

My High School doesn't even exist any more. It saddens me.

:P

[Z_I_Peevey]

7. I believe that's called Cowchip Bingo, pardner.

Don't ask me how I know, ok?

[jmowreader]

8. So who had to go out and pick up the cow shit?

It WOULD be a way to cut down on truancy: if you don't fuck up this week, we won't send you out at halftime to clean the cow turds off the football field.

[ThomCat]

10. It's not anything that could be called a turd.

Turds, I think, are solid. A cow pie is a steaming semi-liquid thing that only solidifies as it cools and dries. :(

Cleaning up a fresh cow pie is definitely a horrible punishment.

[Withywindle]

5. Ha, that's a good one.

Overheard from the friend of a friend:

"I can't wait to get my tax refund so I can divorce my husband!"