Can anyone share stories of positive outcomes to internet dating?

[burythehatchet]

or really poor outcomes for that matter.

I've met this woman that has intrigued me. I have no idea what she looks like. And that's kind of wierd for me.

I'm sure I'll meet her soon and the mystery will be solved, but I wondered if anyone has a story that can share.

[BlondieK143]

1. Actually...

I had been talking to this guy for almost two months through IM and we finally decided to meet up. It was actually a really great time, but I realized we didn't have the chemistry to be anything more than a friend. My suggestion: Share pics and don't go into it with any expectations. Just relax and be open to things.

[utopian]

2. I had a very positive experience

I met my wife through an internet dating service. We've been together for nearly three years, and it's been great. Before I found her, I met some very interesting people (and some not so interesting people). My experience has been, if two people don't click, it's clear almost instantly, and that is that--on to the next date. I'll tell you what, it beats the hell out of meeting people in bars, or hoping someone comes along. I felt that I was taking the reigns and being proactive.

[burythehatchet]

7. Congratulations

Thats really great. I stopped going to bars about 10 years ago although I've been tempted recently.

[terrya]

3. Me. A VERY postive experience.

I met Doug, the light in my life, the man who's given me infinite love and joy...online. We met at a gay message board, hit it off right away, then emailed, then exchanged pictures (and both liking what we saw), then phone calls to cement our mutual attraction.

And then the first time I saw him in the flesh...I fell in love with him all over again. And except for the physical distance (I live in Chicago and Doug lives in Toronto), we've been together ever since. And I do want to move up to Toronto eventually. I hate this distnace. But I'm patient and I'll endure any hardship to have this glorious, wonderful, special man in my life.

My advice to you? Go for it. Suggest that you do exchange pictures...I have this feeling that both of you won't be disappointed. Take it slow...talk to each other...get to know one another. And by all means...pursue this. It sounds like you have an atrraction to her. You'll regret it if you DON'T pursue this.

Good luck, burythehatchet. I wish you all my hopes.

Terry

[burythehatchet]

9. Thanks for sharing your story

sounds like a very warm relationship.

...and I appreciate the good wishes. It really is kind of fun.

[Bertha Venation]

10. I knew we had more in common

than roguish good looks. ;)

[Systematic Chaos]

4. Gotta keep this short, but

I did have a couple of real nightmare scenarios with women I met on the internet - nothing I couldn't cope with though - before finally meeting my wife nearly 2 years ago. I could tell just by reading her ad that she was of the same mindset I was at that time. Namely, that we had both been badly hurt by other people and were almost ready to just cloister ourselves away and forget the whole thing. It's not that her ad went on about that forever or anything... it's just this vibe I got. So, even though she was almost 400 miles away I went ahead and wrote her. We progressed from e-mails to voice chat within a week. Exactly one month later I took my first drive down to Phoenix to meet her, sight unseen since neither of us had any good recent pictures, and we knew right off that things were going to be wonderful for us. I can't begin to describe just how lucky I was to meet this woman and without the internet it never would have happened. Some of us do get very lucky that way, and I'm glad a few depressing initial experiences didn't stop me from giving it one last shot.

[HEyHEY]

5. The police arrived before she could cut me up...

And now countless men are saved..


Seriously, I've never doneit.....ask Jan Micheal.

[JanMichael]

43. What the fuck are you smoking boy?!

I no under stand U on this 1.

[OhioStateProgressive]

6. good experiences, bad experiences

met a girl from Cincinatti over the internet...met up with her, she was cool...but in the end she must not have been very interested because she ended up being very mean about the whole thing and I gradually didn't want to talk to her anymore, and got a bunch of nasty emails about it.

That being said I have made very good friends off of the internet though, and I think it can be just as good of a way to find someone that you fall in love with

[Bertha Venation]

8. Mrs. V. and Bertha

4 1/2 years ago, Mrs. V. was reading a message board and noticed a post by someone who could write in complete sentences, with proper grammar and punctuation and correct spelling. Since she found this to be rare on that MB, she clicked on the person's profile -- mine -- and found that she and I seemed to have some things in common. Intrigued, she wrote me simply to say hi. I wrote back, and we corresponded for some months, becoming friends and getting to know one another.

We fell in love, although I was very slow to accept/admit it. We courted by email, post, and telephone -- which was a mighty feat for Mrs. V., as she loathes the telephone. Six months after her first email, she flew from Virginia to California and we spent four days together. Two months later, I flew to the east and spent a week with her. About a year after that first email, she flew west one more time and, having sent all my belongings ahead via freight, we packed Harry & Richard Cat in the back seat of the Tercel and drove to Virginia to make our life together forever.

We each waited a very long time to find our soul mate, burythehatchet, and if it weren't for the internet we never would have met at all. Edit: neither of us was looking. This wasn't a dating site. She'd just been deeply hurt, and I would've been happy with a casual girlfriend in my own backyard -- but I wasn't even looking there.

(Mrs. V. tells this story much better than I do.)

[burythehatchet]

Awesome

I'm kind of pleasantly surprised that there are so many success stories.

[terrya]

12. MY God, Bertha. ANOTHER thing we seem to have in common.

You and Mrs. V's story sounds a lot like Doug and mine. Except the moving in part. But that will come.

What a nice story, Bertha. I, too, waited a long time to find Doug. I've kissed a lot of frogs in my life. And I finally found my prince.

With love,
Terry

[Bertha Venation]

14. wonderful!

Those frogs & frogettes'll kill ya, though.... :loveya:

[terrya]

15. How true!

I've had my share of warts...believe me. :-)

:loveya:

Terry

[Kamika]

11. I met a guy on yahoo I dated

It was cool, no problems or anything heh. But the distance killed it (he was really fine looking and nice)

But yeah there 'are' weirdos there, if you're a girl I recommend telling a friend where you're going the first time you meet the guy.

Just be careful of game players and the occasional guy pretending to be a girl for the thrill.

edit: I don't want to be negative here but I can almost guarantee you that for every success story there are atleast 20 that weren't

[burythehatchet]

16. Kamika

I wish I was about 20 years younger. I've visited your page and you are a hottie.

:evilgrin:

plus I like your posts

:)

[Kamika]

17. Hey Bury

Thanks a lot! that's sweet of you :D

Did you check out my links?

edit: just the second one :p

[burythehatchet]

18. Not yet...but I will and report back

[Tripper11]

13. Mrs. Tripper and I have been married 5 years!!!

Met at Yahoo chat about 7 years ago when we both began surfing the internet. It was a Newbie chat room and made a lot of cool friends who helped each other learn about computers etc.
Over a time we hooked up. I went to her for her and her family's peace of mind..I figured it was easier on them that I travel the 3,000 miles.
We are as happy as ever and becoming even happier!

[Forkboy]

19. It's how I met my wife

We've been together for 5 years now and very happy.

[beevul]

20. Well, it wasn't dating per-se, but...

I used to play an online MMORPG (massive multiplayer on-line role playing game) called Everquest. I played for quite a while, and met this goodie-goodie high elf cleric (I played an evil dark elf enchanter) while hunting for experience in that characters youth. We ended up hunting together for a very long time, every nite. After some months, we exchanged pics, and finally began talking on the phone to each other.

I drove from MN to AZ to meet her in person 2 years ago, and stayed for 3 weeks. At the end of the 3 weeks when it was time to go home again, she asked me to come stay with her. So I drove home, packed up my meager belongings, and moved to AZ to be with her.

We have never been so happy in our whole lives. We complete each others sentences, and half the time, read each others minds. We still have "shocking" moments when it gets us, how we met and all.

[Kamika]

22. omg

what server!

I met a guy from Everquest aswell, but he was too young, I was 19 and he 15 or so

<-- retired 65 dark elf rogue

[beevul]

24. Bertoxx

I quit sometime ago. I got sick of the rotating nerfbat, class balance, etc.

I won't likely ever play again. Between sony/VI, they ruined the game IMO.

[Kamika]

25. Yeah same (vallon zek here

Planes of power ruined the experience for me totally, since my guild had to do tons of reflagging.

Also I played on a pvp server and rogues got the short end stick there.. Sony didn't do anything about class balance in pvp at all.


I refused to play star wars galaxies BUT I'm gonna check out world of warcraft :D

[beevul]

28. I sooo know what you mean.

"Sony didn't do anything about class balance in pvp at all."

I played on Rallos a short time before I realized how underpowered robe wearers of the enchanting persuasion were. PVP is so unbalanced.

I didn't like groups much, but they were tolerable. I don't agree to not haveing an alternative though.

I'm holding out for a FPS style MMORPG that doesn't have the sony/VI name attatched to it, and doesn't require grouping at high levels, but caters to magic users. I was never one to swing a weapon except for skill increases - just to have it maxxed and all...

[Kamika]

29. dude

chanters became MONSTERS after a pvp patch, their nukes did tons AND with POP they could charm like lvl 55 monsters.. that would rip you in pvp.

And they could SOLO like hell with that charm

[beevul]

32. Until it was nerfed like 1 patch later...

charm was great for soloing-PVE. Its situationality still makes it unable to compete with Trueshot, Manaburn, and some other classes nukes. In PVE charm was ok. In PVP, its situational at best. Unless your in a situation where you have something to charm (since you can't charm other players) you're stuck with chanter nukes(or gate). Level 55(IIRC) is 675 with a stun component. Highly resisted. Level 58 is also for 675 but with out the stun component. Dropped rare off king tormax. May be researchable now, I am not sure. Then theres the ancient spell that drops in VT. No DROP. IF your in a guild good enough to get in VT, you might get it. Then theres the 60 plus spells from PooP. The highest is I believe Insanity at 1500.

Chanters can't nuke toe to toe with any class, cept maybe a cleric.
Combine that with the situationality of charm, and you have imbalance except in a verry few specific sitiations, which make up the exception, not the rule.

That being said, I generally agree with you that PVP is screwed.

[Kamika]

35. no there were special patches for the pvp servers

Also we did Vex Thal TONS AND TONS got tons of ancient spells :p

All I know was that chanters when I left was the best pvp class, maybe druids were in their league.

The resist check for chanters nuke was like gone after a patch..

so chanters had that drain mana spell, great nuke.., rapture... and in our case ancient rapture.. (which is unresistable

[Frangible]

38. heh I still play EQ

65 dr00id here... but on test server. I use Planetside for my PvP fix. EQ PvP never... impressed me. I played a necro on sullon a bit though, got PK'd by level 50+ halfling druids at level 12. Whee.

[Kamika]

40. vallon and tallon are better

can only pvp +-8 lvls

But eq sucks in general :p

I still follow my guilds progress though, Just downloaded a video of them beating the Rathe.. and they are almost finished in Plane of Time.


I quit right after we got access to the elemental planes practicly

[Frangible]

41. heh

I enjoy LDON for xp'ing, it's pretty fun. Much better than camping a spot for hours on end. We're in PoTime atm, which is a pretty fun raid zone. Much better than Vex Thal, which if nothing else, sucked my will to live.

EQ indeed sucks, but damned if it isn't addictive. And grats on the Rathe-- that is quite possibly the worst and one of the most difficult encounters in the game, imo.

I'm pretty apprehensive about the next expansion, GoD. But I guess we'll see how that goes.

[beevul]

39. Probably after my time...

I left a couple years ago after the DC nerf.

No resist check nukes might be interesting.

When I left the game, going against a wiz or druid meant gateing, dying, or holding opponent mezzed all day bouncing nukes off for no damage.

I guess if they removed the resist check that would shore up things a bit.

Oh well, its better that I quit anyhow. RL>EQ.

[davsand]

21. There are a few on DU that met on line.

SCubaDude and Babette are two DUers that hooked up--and i THINK they got married. I know Haley and Laz were on line folks that ended up in married bliss,as well.

What I've observed about on line relationships (Just buddies--I'm an old married fart so I don't do the dating thing anymore...) is that the element of the physical is removed and you really tend to examine the PERSON rather than the exterior. You have established an emotional understanding of each other before you ever get to the whole aspect of picking apart the features and the physiques.

Folks that probably would not have been on the radar in some bar are hugely attractive once you have established some kind of emotional bond.

Laura

[burythehatchet]

23. Dolo Amber and ShortBusPres as well...

[havocmom]

26. Havocdad and I have been together 5 years

and enjoy each other like no one else in either of our pasts. We wrote online then started using the phone. The bills were getting astronomical. Met in person (across many, many miles) twice and decided it was a done deal. cue violins and doves...

Funny thing is, after meeting via the web, we found out we had been in the same places at same time several times over a few decades! He even came into the place I worked years ago. He was telling me about the smart ass remark the woman who worked there said... and I told him what she said as I suddenely remembered the event! Deja weird!

[burythehatchet]

27. That is truly bizarre

Love your matching names by the way

[snobird]

30. 10 years later..

.. gator & I met as friends almost 9 years ago on line. Sept. 2002 we realized it was more than friendship, met in real life in Oct. of that same year, & following Sept 11th/03 we were married in Ontario.Happy, solid & determined to conquer whatever comes our way.
We also both have made & met many good friends from the net as well.

[populistmom]

31. Be careful

From what I have heard, sometimes people can form close, intimate bonds very quickly because it's easier to get to know someone when all the nervous insecurities of reality aren't there (and if you find each other attractive physically on top of things, it's even worse). Often people can start something not expecting to end up with strong feelings and if they aren't close geographically or there are other loose ends yet to be tied, one or both parties can end up feeling very hurt in the process.

[camero]

33. Just the fact that one I met online was actually a woman

was a good thing in itself. The same perils are there for on-line dating as regular dating. Just you can choose the person and not just the look.

[Bunny]

34. My former sister-in-law left my brother,

her husband of 24 years, for a man she met on the internet. She moved to another state to be with The Man. One month after relocating, to a place where she knew no one other than this guy, HE DROPPED OVER DEAD!!!! Karma - ain't it a bitch?

[Syn_Dem]

36. Me and my girlfriend

were introduced through two friends who went to camp....so they gave us each others s/n's on AIM...and we started talking then, exchanging pics and what not. Then...two summers ago we met at Lincoln Park Zoo...then I went to visit her in Cincinnati for her homecoming...and we trade off visiting her whatever chance we get....its been two great years :)

[soleft]

37. I met my girlfriend thru an online personal ad

so I did have an idea of what she looked like before we met. We've been together for a year and about three months, we hope to move into together this summer.

I don't know if that counts as internet dating, we were only emailing each other for about a week before we were seeing each other in person. I can tell you that being together in real time exceeds my wildest dreams.

[bigwillq]

42. One of my good friends from hs

met his first boyfriend on line. They dated for three years. Online guy was such a cutie too. Needless to say, me and online guy did the nasty about six months ago. Well worth the wait.

[kevinam]

44. can share a positive...

A very good friend of mine, lived in NC, and somehow, ICQ or something, came across this gal from Canada. They hit it off great. Nine months after they met in person, they got married. A few months later, she was able to move to the US, and they have been married for like 3 1/2 years. They are great together. Although, I would suggest being critical of things she says. If she says things that don't add up, or make sense, for one reason or another, she might be trying to pull the wool over your eyes...Kevin.

[burythehatchet]

47. I hear ya

but I suppose you have a make just a little leap of faith at first

[Edge]

45. How can you date over the internet?

I've never understood that...

[kodi]

46. once, a woman over the net asked me for my sperm.

after i told her it would take a week to get her a quart, i never replied to her messages again.

i think she fancied herself a witch.

but i think she was a loonie.

[Zomby Woof]

48. I hooked up through DU

And it has been VERY successful. I gained a lifetime love and a new family. :D

[Dogmudgeon]

49. My brother, his bride, and my wistful longing

He met his wife in Yahoo! personals just a few weeks after his previous GF kicked him to the curb. First shot at the personals, too.

By the way, my wistful longing is not for my brother's wife, but for some kind of similar success in matters romantic.

I tried the personals to meet women for about three years. Nerve-wracking experiences from start to finish. I seem to attract the arrogant, obsessively kinky, and morbidly needy ones.

I know, it's only a razor-slim fraction of the numbers of Womankind, but when I get on line, it's Katie-bar-the-door!

Especially if Katie fancies herself to be the cruel and cunning High Whip Mistress Xylope from the planet Rhabdophilion who has temporarily taken on human form to find someone to give her Unconditional Love and end the eons of her suffering aching loneliness.

Why can't I meet a nice, sweet, subservient Junior Miss model, with pigtails and freckles and maybe a mild overbite and a tendancy to put weight on around her hips, preferably a left-handed polyglot who likes to read, who wants nothing more than to help me tend the farm and to cook the vittles and to bear me several genetically superior children?

It's those damned Wimmin's Libbers, I tell ya! And fluoride -- the fluoride is a big part of it, too!

--bkl
It's early nights,
and pillow fights,
and your soft laugh, oh,
But fantasy world,
and Disney Girls,
I'm comin' back ...

[everythingsxen]

50. I met a girl online once..

She seemed really nice, but she was really weird. She was a democrat and a liberal and just so... weird; so weird that we started chatting everyday for, uh, well I guess.. has it been more than a year now? Anyway, I moved from Florida to Washington to "meet" her and restart my life, cause.. well.. life indicated that I should go and knowing her online, I could not bear to not be with her IRL, so I went. Thank whoever it has worked out great so far.

[AlienGirl]

51. Weird is Good!

We met here! And Xen is weird too, but in a way that meshes well with my weirdness.

Plus, he is amazingly nice and pleasant to be with. And cuddly. Can't forget cuddly. And...uh...well-hung. :evilgrin:

Tucker

[everythingsxen]

52. LOL

Yes. We are weird people. Even weirder together. But weird in that tequila-snorting, vanilla coke drinking, fortune cookie kind of way.

[AlienGirl]

53. Weird...and Spooky!

Of course, as Bob Smith informed us, I'm Spooky. You're Authority.

Tucker

[everythingsxen]

54. At least I am not Arrogance or Innocence..

:evilgrin:

Spooooooky. :D

I love you are so spoooky. :D

I hope you like the spooky/creepy/cute shirt i got you.. :D

[AlienGirl]

55. Arrogance was so well-named...

[everythingsxen]

56. Innocence was not however...

;-)

[AlienGirl]

57. Yeah, she knows what Mons Venus is!

[everythingsxen]

59. Hheeheh

Yes indeed. :P

[woofless]

58. I met Alleycatsmom on ICQ in Jan.2001

Just a random thing, I was looking at profiles with only age and gender as a consideration and sent a "Hi there." We talked and she let me know right away that she was off of men for a while due to abuse and would only consider a friendly talking relationship. It was uncanny, how almost immediately we connected. We think the same things at the same time. We say the same things at the same time. We have done that since the beginning. It soon graduated to talking on the phone frequently, then daily. In March she came to MO from Idaho to attend her daughters graduation from MP school. Ft. Leonard Wood was about an hour south of my place in Jeff City. She had planned to come spend a weekend with me for our first face to face, (we had exchanged several pics) but ended up having more time and stayed for 4 days. That was enough. A month after she returned to Idaho she called and asked me to move there. I jumped, put all my shit in a pickup, gave the rest away and drove 1800 miles in 3 days. We have been together since May, 2001. I gave up a lucrative profession and never have given it a second thought. In all that time not one harsh word or act has passed between us. That is unprecedented in my personal experience and I was married for 23 years. I am the most contented and happy guy around. Super to see all these other success stories here and thanks for letting me share ours.

Woof

p.s. To ice the cake, this summer we moved to the foothills of Mt. Baker, WA so we have a cabin in an idyllic setting in the Cascades that makes it all that much nicer.

[burythehatchet]

60. Wonderful

I wonder if this phenomenon will lead to lower divorce rates. So far it seems that the vast majority of what's been said is positive.

Congratulations, btw. It's kinda neat to feel that teenage flutter in your heart again.

May you guys forever keep what you found.

[Kamika]

61. no, trust me

for every positive experience I can guarantee you there are 20 bad ones.

[fudge stripe cookays]

62. Perfect happiness here.

Bury--

reprehensor and I met through an online personals service in late 98 and began writing then.

He was intrigued by my ad first and made the first move. I was a little skittish at first since I had just had something implode the previous week.

But we wrote online everyday, then graduated to IM'ing, then phone calls. Soon, we decided not to date in our respective locations and stick with each other. We knew EVERYTHING about each other.

He came down to Dallas (from Calgary) in March of 99, and the minute he stepped off the plane we knew that was it. He met my mom and friends, and we had such a blast together. The next few months were torture after he had to go back. I went up to Canada in July and met his family and we broke the news that we were engaged.

Torture again for 5 more months being apart, then I went up again at Christmas, further torture for 5 more months, then he moved down that next May. We were married in July, and are coming up on our 4th anniversary this year. We had to go through all the INS stuff to get him here, but it has been completely worth it. He is my very best friend in the whole world.

I say go for it, but be careful and go slow. Find out everything you can about the person. If they are reticent, go even slower! Follow all the cautions-- meet in a public place, etc.

If you have any questions, DU-mail me, I can try to provide the bulk of our experience!

FSC

[burythehatchet]

65. Thanks for sharing your story.

I know what you and others have said about taking it slow. Being an Aries though, patience is a very precious commodity. Quick update, she and I have been e-mailing through Sunday night practically, and I did offer up my cell phone number.

Given the amount of info that has been exchanged, I think its reasonable to talk by Tueday and plan an innocent rendez-vous on Friday. A whole week since we "met".

[MissMillie]

63. No positive outcomes

involving any kind of dating.

[burythehatchet]

64. Whaddya mean MissMillie

are ya down on the dating thing...period? What's it gonna take to make it right again?

:grouphug: