Tom Cruise left message on Jennifer Garner's answering machine "asking if she knew what freedom was"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Before marrying Katie Holmes and turning her into a zombie, Tom Cruise tried having relationships with Penelope Cruz and Sofia Vergara. He also unsuccessfully tried to land Ben Affleck’s current bride Jennifer Garner, according to Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography written by Princess Di biographer Andrew Morton. Us Weekly reports:

Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star's voice mail in 2004 asking "if she knew what freedom was," but his advances were rebuffed.

Tom Cruise’s pick-up line: Do you know what freedom is? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve standing on a step-stool that reads “Tommy’s Helper” to wash your hands. That’s just my educated guess. Of course, I can’t say I’ve ever felt the thrill of driving a car with alphabet blocks strapped to my feet, so maybe Tom Cruise knows something I don’t.

http://thesuperficial.com/2008/01/jennifer_garner_shot_down_tom.php

[terrya]

1. Man, Jennifer Garner dodged that bullet.

Good for her.

[stuntcat]

2. (I want to slap him and slap him)

oh God how I'd slap him.

[Dr. Strange]

3. Do it! For Xenu.

[Crazy Dave]

7. Me too

Just for dumping Nicole Kidman.

[MonkeyFunk]

4. My most fervent hope

is that that homunculus will die in a horrible e-meter mishap.

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. When I was in seventh grade, I passed a note

to a cute girl in my history class, asking if she knew what truth, justice and the American way were.









We had drinks later.

[NewJeffCT]

15. she thought you were Superman?

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. She thought I was Clark Kent

She was into geeks. :shrug:

[hisownpetard]

16. And that girl grew up to be...

- Nancy Pelosi?
- Roseann Barr?
- Christie Brinkley?
- Britney Spears?

I mean, don't leave us hanging here...

[Oeditpus Rex]

22. 14 and pregnant

But not by me. :)

[sakabatou]

6. What an asshole.

[Orsino]

8. Can someone explain the step-stool and alphabet-blocks to me?

I'm guessing that these are specific references to episodes that Garner and Cruise might not want to recall?

[MrCoffee]

9. Tom is short.

[xchrom]

11. he's short.

[Orsino]

13. Ah. I was hoping for something clever, and missed the obvious. n/t

[MrCoffee]

14. well, it is thesuperficial...clever they ain't

[xchrom]

20. i think at some point -- we all hoped for something clever from him.

[Ediacara]

10. Uh, I'm Tom's height and I have no trouble at the sink or in a car....

Of all the things to make fun of him about (and there are MILLIONS of things) you choose to pick on something he has totally no control over...

[Droopy]

19. I agree

You'd think people here would more hip to the "it ain't cool to pick on people for their physical traits" kind of stuff.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

24. No, I just copied and pasted what the author at "The Superficial" wrote

I chose to copy and paste the post. That's what I chose to do.

[Ediacara]

25. Oh, I see now, I misunderstood who's comment that was

[Steven_S]

12. Little message to Tom....

[hisownpetard]

17. Couldn't have 'said' it better myself!

Welcome to DU!

[LSK]

18. would the mothership take her to freedom?

:shrug:

[devilgrrl]

21. I need to know how that talentless hack got to where he is....

they'll figure out the mysteries of the Egyptian Pyramids first.

[Blue_Tires]

26. he blew it...by law, any phone message to Jennifer Garner must have the following words/phrases:

"honey-tasting"
"greasy"
"slide"
"hardness"
"snarf-snarf"
"wetness"
"dew filled"
"nip-nips"
"in my pants"
"peach-scented"
"gooey kablooie"
"sugar walls"
"machine-gun rapidity"
"wraparound"
"angle of attack"
"munch"
"blast"
"cowboy"
"stroke"