Dying cat 75-dying brother 5

[bif]

This is just an observation. I'm not complaining. but last week I posted a message about my brother who's dying of cancer. I got about 5 responses. Someone posted a message about their dying cat and got 75 or 80 responses. I thought that was interesting.

[Maine-ah]

1. sorry to hear it, bif

I must have missed your post, I only manage to post while the baby is sleeping. Here's some lounge vibes for your brother:hug:

[Pierre.Suave]

2. I did not see that, sorry

I hope your brother either recovers, or has peace until it is over.

:hug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. I'm very sorry about your brother.

(I didn't see your post last week.)

[lightningandsnow]

4. I'm so sorry to hear that.

I didn't see your original post though.

Sending lots of lounge vibes to you!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. i am sorry to hear about your brother but its much easier to send condolences about a cat

than a brother, only because a brother is a much bigger deal

:hug:

sorry i missed your first thread

[NC_Nurse]

6. I haven't been in the lounge much lately...I missed both.

I am so sorry about your brother. Peace be with both of you. :hug:

[SteppingRazor]

7. I didn't see either of those, but...

I think the simple answer, hard as it is to hear, is that people understand a dying cat, can comment on a dying cat, and can empathize over a dying cat.

But what do you say over the cold medium of the Internet when someone says their brother is dying? There are no words. "I'm sorry" doesn't exactly cut it. And so, you just don't post, because there's nothing you can say to make the situation better, or even to offer a meaningful dose of empathy.

For what it's worth, I am very sorry about your brother. Death sucks.

[MonkeyFunk]

8. I'm sorry

I didn't see your thread. You and your brother sure have my sympathy and best wishes.

I think losing a pet is something most of us have been through, but not necessarily a sibling. And... sometimes people just don't know what to say to something so impactful.

[mike_c]

9. I'm sorry about your brother, but I can tell you...

...that I'm MUCH closer to my cats than I am to my siblings!

[AngryOldDem]

10. I'm sorry about your brother

I don't post as often as others here, so I couldn't respond before now.

And I must say that the explanations you have gotten here...from "it's hard to know what to say" to "it's easier to mourn for a cat" are, sadly, quite common when someone is faced with such a devastating loss as that of a loved one. I think it's human nature to react that way; there are many reasons for that too, I think.

Sometimes, folks, all that's needed is a simple "I'm sorry," or "My condolences." I know when I went through similar losses, I really wasn't looking for profound insights into something that was inexplicable, or words that would magically take the hurt away. Neither is possible. But NEVER underestimate the amount of comfort that "I'm sorry" can provide.

Trust me, the silence can be just as painful as the loss itself. Not to mention the feeling of isolation you feel when you just assume that nobody cares.

Just my 0.02, for what that's worth.

[stuntcat]

11. it is sad

I'm sorry about your brother getting so ill, it has to be hard :hug:

(It's 'just an observation' but it was a true fact. I don't know if it's a good thing or not but what Lioness said is the answer, it is easier for people to talk about a dying pet than a dying sibling.)

[Sanity Claws]

12. I'm sorry to hear.

I didn't see the earlier post. Is there no hope that he will turn around?
My two cents on the lack of response: it might have to do with the time you posted. You might have posted at a slow time where few people saw it and the few people on the board kept talking on other threads.
Another possibility is that people don't know you. It is my belief that some people open threads only of their friends. There are some cliques here, you know.

[LynzM]

13. I'm so sorry to hear that, bif

I didn't see either thread last week, but I'm sorry for the pain that the lack of responses brings.

Peace to you, your brother, and your family. :hug:

[TrogL]

14. People may find it easier to talk about a dying cat

I think I saw your thread about your brother and couldn't respond as it brought back memories about my father who died a few years ago of stroke-related side-effects (primarily pneumonia). (No, I don't need {{{{hugs}}}} - I'll talk about it when I'm ready.)

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. For those who missed the OP--Link here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7340158&mesg_id=7340158

Again, so sorry for the worry and pain you are going through, bif :hug;

[Mz Pip]

16. So sorry about your brother

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mz Pip