University football trash talking.

[Swede]

I love this stuff,it's all in good fun.

Q: How do you get a University of Colorado graduate off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What does the N on the University of Nebraska stand for? Knowledge.

[alarimer]

1. Q: Did you hear what happened to the Texas A&M hockey team?

A: They drowned during spring training.

Q: What goes "vroom, screech, vroom, screech?"

A. An Aggie at a flashing red light.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

2. Old joke, but what the hey...

In a Reading 101 class at Texas Tech, the teacher writes 'Old MacDonald had a ________' on the blackboard.

"Can anyone fill in the blank?" she asked.

An offensive lineman raises his hand and and proudly bellows "Farm!"

"Very good Ed, can you spell farm?"



"Yup."



"E-I-E-I-O."

:D

[YellowRubberDuckie]

3. Mascots: OSU vs OU....(This is my FavoritE!!)

Recently it was brought to my attention that OU and OSU have very different mascots.



After gathering all of the information I was able to make the following comparison.





In 1923, OSU had a tiger (black and gold colors) as a mascot and wanted to make a change. The students picked a cowboy named Frank Eaton.




Born in 1860, in Hartford, Connecticut, Frank Eaton moved with his family to Kansas shortly after the close of the Civil War. When Frank was eight years old, his father, a former Union soldier, was shot and killed by a group of lawless former Confederates. Frank was a witness to the murder and each of the murderers' faces was imprinted in his memory.



OU changed from having a DOG named "TOP DOG" to having this horse.





When Frank Eaton was fifteen, he learned of the location of one of his father's killers. After deciding it was almost time to set out on his mission, Frank wanted to make sure his shooting skills were good enough. He decided to visit Fort Gibson, a cavalry fort, to try to learn more about handling a gun. There he competed with the cavalry's best marksmen, beating them each time. After many competitions, the fort's commanding officer, Colonel Copinger gave Frank a marksmanship badge and a new name. From that day forward, Frank would be known as Pistol Pete!



OU has a HORSE.





Frank met a Deputy United States Marshal who was on the trail of the same men that killed his father. After talking about the men, Frank was offered, and accepted a commission. At seventeen, Frank Eaton became a Deputy U.S. Marshal under Judge Isaac C. Parker, "the famous hanging judge".





OU has a HORSE







Frank Eaton tracked down and shot all five of the men who had killed his father.

First was Shannon Campsey, Frank killed him on his own front porch. Doc Ferber was next; he was shot off of his horse with "two forty-five slugs through his breast". John Ferber would have been next, but the day before Frank caught up with him, he was shot for cheating at cards.

Frank then caught up with Jim and Jonce Campsey together. They were both shot as they drew on Frank.

Finally Frank tracked down the last murderer in New Mexico. Wyley Campsey was shot in a barroom gunfight along with two of his hired gunmen.

Finally, after six long years, Frank Eaton was able to avenge his father's death.







OU has this HORSE.

[GOPisEvil]

4. OU also has a fight song with only two words.

I never got that. :shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. OU's official mascots are cheating felons....

I guess that doesn't say much for their football team, does it? :evilgrin:
Duckie

[fishwax]

7. I'll take the ponies anyday

but not those furry horse costume people in the pictures (I can't argue with you about those :blush:). Rather, I'll take the real ponies who pull the Sooner Schooner around the field after OU scores.

Today was the last home game for Boomer IV and Sooner IV. After fifteen seasons, they're off to the pasture when this one is over, to be replaced by a younger pair of ponies. Fortunately, they had plenty of opportunities to take the field today :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

10. You still have to admit...

The horse is kind of lame compared to the history of Pistol Pete.
Duckie

[fishwax]

12. well, I'll admit that the story of the pistol pete mascot is pretty cool, and i'll admit

that the big fluffy people-horses are lame :yoiks:

But to my mind, the people horses are a kid-friendly marketing ploy, and the real mascots are the two horses of the four-legged variety, which, as I said, I'd take any day :)

[Writer]

6. One year, before the Texas-Texas A&M game, the Aggies had a plan to win...

"I know," said the quarterback, "Let's shoot a rifle and give 'em a scare!"

So midway through the first quarter of the game, one of the guys on the bench sneaked off into a hidden corner of the stadium and fired a rifle.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The stadium cleared and the Longhorns took off, fearing for their lives.

After three plays, the Aggies scored their first touchdown.

;)

[unsavedtrash]

8. What does an Auburn grad call an Alabama grad? Boss.

[cloudbase]

9. The Aggie coach

walked into the locker room at Kyle Field before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. so, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "four?"

"Did you say four?" the coach asked, excited that he had gotten the answer right.

Suddenly the other Aggie players began screaming, "Come on, coach, give him another chance!"



Actually heard during the Georgia-Georgia Tech game today. One of the commentators, in reference to Tech, said (not an exact quote) "Unlike Georgia, they're not a football factory. They're an institution of higher learning."

[Capn Sunshine]

11. USC v UCLA

A Trojan grad and a Bruin grad were on death row. The warden came to them to ask them if they had any last requests. The Trojan said, “I’d just like to hear ‘Conquest’ one last time.” When the warden asked the Bruin what his last request was, he replied, “kill me first.”

[ironflange]

13. Each Oregon player displays his GPA on his helmet

[insanity]

14. The only thing Duck grads are good for

Is pumping my gas.

I'm actually kinda bummed they lost today though, I wanted them to get their hopes up for a Rose Bowl bid so we could at least steal that from them. Oh well, fuck the ducks.