What is my wife worried will happen to me when she's out of town?

[Deep13]

Poll question: What is my wife worried will happen to me when she's out of town?

My wife is going out of town tomorrow for three days and is worried I might get sick or hurt with no one around to help. What is she most worried about?

[Gormy Cuss]

1. She's very very afraid that you'll get hit by a car when

you're out chasing ambulances.

:hide:

[Hugin]

2. You forgot, "All of the above and more"...

Thought you should know. :D

[RebelOne]

3. You might go to a strip club

and get crushed by a falling pole dancer.

[Deep13]

5. or be suffocated by huge boobs. nt

[DarkTirade]

4. You forgot 'might run off with a horde of beautiful women...

whose only purpose in life is to wait until she leaves so they can steal you for themselves'. :)

[Deep13]

7. That's the one thing she is not worried about. nt

[DarkTirade]

9. The one thing? :)

What about ninjas? I don't think you mentioned ninjas.

[Deep13]

10. Well they are always a problem this time of year.

When it gets cold outside, the ninjas tend to move into the warm house. I've set some traps and baited them with Saki.

[DarkTirade]

11. Traps aren't always enough.

You might need to start leaving out weevily biscuits to attract pirates. Pirates are the ninja's natural enemy.

[Deep13]

12. Yeah, but then I get a basement full of pirates.

I just may have the place fumigated. That will get rid of ninjas, pirates and circus clowns.

[DarkTirade]

13. Oh god... you have clowns?!?!?

And you were worried about all those other things? Get your priorities straight!

I don't know if fumigation will be enough. You might need monkeys to properly sort this thing out.

[Deep13]

15. Well, I don't know.

I mean, I found a clown nose. That's all. Doesn't mean I have clowns. Maybe one of the ninjas brought it in or something.

[DarkTirade]

25. Well, a bright red nose doesn't necessarily mean clowns.

It could mean reindeer.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

6. I think your list is very good --- except....

She may have a deep, deep fear that you are finally going to clean the kitchen on your own and get your hand stuck in the drain while trying to remove your head.

I also think you should stay away from any cycling... Hornets are nasty.

[Connonym]

8. Hookers and blow

[evlbstrd]

14. All of the above.

Compounded by the fact that you didn't put on clean underwear.

[Catchawave]

16. What always happens to my husband when I leave town.....

Forgets how to operate the dishwasher, washer and dryer. She should be okay, it's only for 3 days :D

[Deep13]

17. I do most of that stuff.

Except the drier. We use a clothesline.

[Deep13]

18. .

:kick:

[libodem]

19. Mostly worried

your neighbor will crush you as she falls from the pole vault onto your pole into her vault. She doesn't want you playing around, mister!

[Deep13]

20. See answer seven. My wife is not neurotically jealous.

If she couldn't leave me alone for three days, it would not be much of a marriage. Also, I think you overestimate my ability to pick up a quick substitute.

[TZ]

21. You missed a possible worry...

Fly to Africa and get Ebola (I understand theres a current outbreak).....;-)

[Deep13]

23. What's that? I'm busy treating the hornet stings on my head. n/t

[dembotoz]

22. mine would be more worried that something like that would not happen

she just wants to be sure my insurance is paid up

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. She's worried that you'll start a fire, by indulging in a machismo orgy.

Turning on all your power tools, the TV, the stereo, AND the electric guitar amp at the same time while toasting pop tarts, making coffee, and microwaving burritos will overload your power box.

I suggest you get a power-up before she leaves.

[Deep13]

26. The wiring in my house is barely adequate.

I can use the toaster OR the lamp.
:evilgrin:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. I sympathize completely...

We have to turn off the upstairs air conditioner if we want to use the microwave. :toast:

[Quixote1818]

28. She is worried that you will be there when she gets back.

And that you will still be married. :rofl:

[Heidi]

29. Alternately,

that he will fail to feed the cat. I know that's _my_ biggest concern when I have to be away from Call Me Wesley. :rofl:

[Deep13]

31. I blow raspberries at you.

:P

[Richard Steele]

30. That you'll be lured away into sleazery by a man with a wrench in his pocket? nm

[Deep13]

32. Sleazery?

:spray:

[Richard Steele]

33. Frank Zappa.

Heard that ONCE, 20 years ago, and the line stuck with me.
He had a real way with words sometimes.