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A question for everyone who's ever gotten married

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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:05 AM
Original message
A question for everyone who's ever gotten married
Were your nerves totally shot, or just mainly shot, the day before???

I'm completely thrilled to be marrying Haruka, but I'm so nervous!!!!!
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. no. nt.
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Minimus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
2. Not nervous for the first and second but slightly for the third.
Three strikes and I'm out.
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
3. ceremonial jitters?
the fact that you are the center of attraction? the star of the show. all eyes on YOU!!!!

nah. not a problem.

:rofl:

:hug:

you two will be fine ;)

:hi:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. YES
Thanks alot! You evil little Tarheel....

We're going to go meet up with Leftymom in a few minutes,
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #7
13. best wishes for you both on this momentus ocassion.
:hug: blessings for a beautiful ceremony. :hug:
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smoogatz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
42. I've been married twice.
First time, I did the ceremony stone sober and I was terrified. Second time I had a hefty vodka on the rocks first. Much better.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
4. Yeah, and we didn't even have a big ceremony.
Mostly I was worried about how much he was drinking though. In hindsight, I should have taken his drunk ass to the ER, he had alcohol poisoning.

Is it any wonder I'm divorced?
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:15 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. OMG!
I hope Granny doesn't get drunk.

:scared:
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Rambis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
5. Let someone else sweat the small stuff
It is natural to be nervous- We had a great time exchanging vows it was like we were the only two people in the room.

Designate someone that will solve all the little problems so you can relax and visit with the guests. If the cake knife is lost or the photog isn't doing what he/she should tell this person and let them deal with it. That way if you have the rings and can get yourself and sig other there you are set. my wife's sister was designated "bitch" for the day (her words not mine) and she did a great job.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:14 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. My nephew is our "bitch"
Our caterer is a great guy, and the Ex/BFF is our photog.

It'll be great, it's just that it's suddenly here!
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
6. The first time, yeah, a little,
because I was pretty young, "the end of life as we know it" and I had some misgivings that I should have heeded. With CMW, I wasn't nervous at all.

You might just be nervous because you've been working your butt off and you want everyone to have a good time. I hope you can relax when everything's in full swing and just go with your happiness. We send you both (and Gniles) our love and good vibes. :hug:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #6
10. I thin k that's it
There's a million little details. And, Gniles ate some of the plastic party favor boxes. Jeebus.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. Give him a spoonful of paint thinner.
He'll pass the party favors by morning. :P
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Pendrench Donating Member (729 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
11. It's very natural....marriage is a big deal, and the fact that you're nervous shows that you're
taking it seriously.

What I told my (now) wife was, "No matter what happens - at the end of the day, you and I are going to be married, and that's all that counts"

Best wishes to both of you -

Tim
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:31 AM
Response to Original message
14. No. n/t
Traditionally, we menfolk leave that to our brides. We just make sure to wake up in time for the ceremony.
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soleft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
15. I was, especially right before the rehearsal dinner
But a friend of mine gave me a couple hits off a joint and I was fine after that.

Until - my Aunt tripped over an ottomon while taking my picture and broker her wrist

- a bike marathon around Asbury Park kept the entire groom half of the wedding party from getting to the church

- my father couldn't find his bowtie and had to run across the street where they had gone to a wedding the day before and borrow a bow tie from a neighbor


But then I had a couple glasses of champagne before the reception and I was fine after that.

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yardwork Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:42 AM
Response to Original message
16. Hey, congratulations and best wishes!
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
17. I just wanted it to be over with.
Edited on Fri Sep-14-07 10:00 AM by LaraMN
I hated planning it.
HATED, hated, hated that.
I wasn't really nervous- I was too drained to care about anything at that point.

:P

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
:party:
:bounce:
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:01 AM
Response to Original message
18. I was actually pretty relaxed.
My wife was totally shot.
I dont let much get to me. When we got married, we actually went to Disney for the wedding. Just the two of us. Part of the package was a wedding coordinator, who basically took care of everything for us. All we had to do was fill out the paperwork a couple months before, making our selections for all the little things (cake, music, officiant, photographer, where, when, etc etc). Then all we had to do was show up at the proper time. Wedding day, I just put on my tux and stepped outside to the limo. The rest is really a blur.
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:03 AM
Response to Original message
19. So you're getting married, and you're nervous?
That's weird! Never heard of that one before!

:D
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:03 AM
Response to Original message
20. We cheated.
My (then) fiance and I ran out to Vegas two months before the "official" wedding. We got married out there and we didn't tell anyone. When the official wedding came around, we were all relaxed and had a great time.
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JustABozoOnThisBus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #20
26. Ok, but how were you the day before the Vegas wedding?
Not a bit nervous / numb?
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #26
29. If I was nervous, it was overpowered by the excitement of Vegas.
We arrived, gambled, went to the pool, had dinner, went to the courthouse for the license, and got married, saw a show all on the first day. Too busy to be nervous.

She didn't go for my Elvis wedding idea though. :)

Actually, we are flying out to Vegas next month to celebrate year 14.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:03 AM
Response to Original message
21. I as a basketcase for the first wedding....completely
relaxed for the second. I had to take 1/4 valium for the first one - go figure I was divorced two years later and 30k in debt.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:12 AM
Response to Original message
22. I was nervous to walk down the aisle!
But Iwas more excited than anything!! It will be fine!! Congrats!
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
23. Nope. We eloped
Had no idea the day before that we were getting married the following day
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
24. I hope that the happiness that comes w/ your big day tomorrow
lasts a lifetime.

Congrats to you both.
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
25. No, but we had been together a long time already
I don't think your nerves are a bad thing. Just remember to relax take a look around and soak it all in.
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
27. I was too exhausted to be nervous.
But I probably would've been nervous if I was coherent.

Good luck and congratulations!

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 10:52 AM
Response to Original message
28. Not at all
for a second
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Hosnon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:13 PM
Response to Original message
30. Not until about 5 minutes before I walked into the sanctuary.
I hadn't been nervous at all until then...and I spiked!
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
31. Yeah, my nerves were shot.
I realized it when I snapped at my mom when she was bustling my gown. I try to be patient with people doing things I couldn't do better myself, but I was completely frazzled at that point. My mistake was getting a gown that needed to be bustled in the first place.

I always tell brides before a wedding to take plenty of deep breaths, and remember, something is going to go wrong. But you'll still be married at the end of the day.

Have a great day. Wish I could be there :hi:
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:19 PM
Response to Original message
32. Nah, nerves are for sissies!
Obviously, I'm kidding. However, I wasn't nervous the day of my wedding. I had booked massages for everyone in the bridal party in the afternoon (including myself), maybe that has something to do with it. :shrug:
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Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
33. My jitters didn't hit me until about 30 minutes before the ceremony.
My body's response: my skin felt numb all over, and I got the worst case of cottonmouth EVER.

But you'll be fine. I was. :hi:
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
34. No but I thank DayQuil for that one
I had a bad cough, as did wifey
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
35. not until I was standing infront of everyone
saying my vows, was I nervous. My leg wouldn't stop shaking....thank goodness for my wedding gown to hide my shaking leg...lol..

good luck!
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Liberal Dose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
36. First off, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I have to say that I was an official bundle of nerves when the
magnitude of it all hit me. It was actually excitement. I was about to become the luckiest woman in the world, about to marry the man of my dreams and the reality of it was making me fall apart. I would think "omg this is real" and begin to shake uncontrollably. Might not be the exact same thing as you, but that was the cause of my nerves. Even now, 7 yrs later and I get excited tremors at the thought of what I have and how lucky I am. OMG this is real!!! :hug: :7
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mulsh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
37. Not in the least, in fact the priest said he's never met a couple
who were both so calm before the ceremony.

Of couse I can't say the same for my mother or mother-in-law. Both of them were nervous wrecks. In fact after the ceremony while the photographer was taking pics of me & my bride our mothers snuck into the bar and had a couple of serious cocktails before the reception.
Had to delay the reception line. Which was also the only "disaster"

Best wishes and congradulations. I'm sure you n Haruka will have wonderful ceremony and a beautiful life together. Just relax and have fun tomorrow.
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BrotherBuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
38. Our marriage was almost an afterthought
We'd been together for over a decade and only decided to get married to appease my mom because my wife was eight and a half months pregnant, and my mother had no desire to have bastard grandchild. We made the decision to get married around 9am. We were hitched by eleven. Had a nice meal at a nice greasy spoon and went home. Sure beat a day in the salt mine. All our nerved were focused on the arrival of our new baby. Our son arrived ten days later.
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
39. No.
I don't get nervous before big things. In fact I get strangely calm.

Just have a nice bottle of wine and enjoy yourself.

Congrats!

And post some pics!
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MountainLaurel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 02:15 PM
Response to Original message
40. Just mainly shot
But then we got married by ourselves on the other side of the planet. And the nerves being shot had less to do with the wedding than with the 24-hour trip we'd just endured.

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smoogatz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
41. No.
But we were in New Orleans (pre-Katrina), eating and drinking and having a good old time. Plus, we knew we weren't going to get to have a real honeymoon post wedding (both had pressing work commitments), so we tried to make up for it by getting a luxury suite in a Graden District B&B and spending plenty of time together, away from family/friends. Laissez le bon temps roulet!
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