Who is Jack Schitt?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After 15 years of being married, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

[Lyric]

1. When I was a teenager, I bought a t-shirt

at Gadzooks that was printed with this little story. :hi:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. I just found it in my email...

Never saw it before, and I've been around awhile. :toast:

[nytemare]

2. Here is a cute animation on it.

http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm

:hi:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. Cute!

[TreasonousBastard]

3. Where's Bat Schitt Krazy?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. Must've been eaten by cave salamanders

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. No one you know

:hide:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. Joe Mama

:toast:

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. I used to use that a lot

Somebody'd zing me and I'd wait a few seconds, then look around the room and say, "Hey... have you seen Joe?"

"Joe who?"

"JOE MAMA!"

:headbang:

[supernova]

5. I don't know Jack Schitt

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. I bet you do

You're just being modest.

[baldguy]

12. I'm not afraid to say I don't know Jack Schitt

There's a lot of Schitt I don't know.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. You've obviously advanced to the next evolutionary phase...

Most humans would never admit that they don't know Schitt. :toast: Congrats!