What do I do...

[Hosnon]

I'm married...three weeks. Wow...

I admit that I am, at the moment, an asshole...

[JVS]

1. I advise you to begin drinking heavily

[Hosnon]

2. That is the cause or the problem...

Point is...I'm too snarky...she is type A.

[JVS]

3. Well why'd you marry a type A. They suck!

[SeattleGirl]

4. This Type A does NOT!

:P

[Hosnon]

6. Hey...THANK GOD.

[JVS]

7. Welcome to ignore!

[Hosnon]

5. Yeah...not helping...

Damn it...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear MDuncan1982...

Three weeks isn't very long...

But if you're having trouble, perhaps now is the time for marriage counseling?

For both of you...

:hug:

[Hosnon]

9. I'm

too young for this...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. Oh no you're not...

Nobody is too young for marriage counseling...

When they're having trouble...

[Hosnon]

19. .

It's not my fault...I'm sorry that I cannot find a job...

[Adsos Letter]

10. How long did you know her before you got hitched?

[Hosnon]

11. A year. NT.

[Adsos Letter]

12. I'm married to a Type A myself...29 years...what's the issue?

[Hosnon]

14. The issue is....

It's a semi-true story...believe it or not..

[Adsos Letter]

15. after 29 years of ups and downs?...

I would believe anything.

[Hosnon]

17. I'm open...what do you recommend?

[Adsos Letter]

18. I still don't know what is at the root of this problem...

...saying you can't do it may be valid...but usually it is a matter of openness and then deciding, between the two of you, whether you WANT to do it or not...

[Hosnon]

20. Bottom line:

I have a B.A. and a J.D...but I can't get a job...

It sucks...she is carrying the weight...and I understand that and respect that....

[Adsos Letter]

21. We have something in common here...

I worked 30 years in the trades...I am now pursuing my MA in History, and it doesn't leave me much time for income generation...my wife is the Director of Pediatrics for a large, nationally known hospital...she not only carries the weight, her position carries substantially more "gravitas" than mine ever has or will...

Yet our love and respect for one another has survived some major blows over the years, and has settled into a good thing.

I, however, still struggle with my ineer sense of worth and achievement.

You have accomplished a lot...how does your wife view it?

[Hosnon]

22. My wife does not view it in any way that makes me feel like

I am worth a damn.

Study for the bar? Of course... I should do that...

[Adsos Letter]

23. I can only speak from my own experience on this...

...(Some of this is going to sound all new-agey, touchy-feely; forgive me, it has merit here)

First off, you have accomplished quite a bit, academically. Realize that...internalize that...I don'e even know you and I can understand that much. Do you need to take the Bar exam? Alright; study for it...but don't forget that you have already accomplished a lot. That counts for something, no matter what anyone else thinks (even you).

Can you guys sit down in a way that allows you to safely express your feelings on the issues involved? This is important! Yes, not having a job is an issue, but there are bigger, more important issues at work here...

If you can't talk through it between yourselves in any way that is productive, then see a counselor. A good counselor will not take either side but will simply act as an arbiter, keeping the conversation constructive, and making objective observations. A good counselor can create a safe place for the necessary interactions.

The employment issue is an important one, I don't mean to downplay it...but this really seems like a communication problem, and there is always hope when that is the case.

If you happen to live in the Napa area I know some great counselors...if not, ask around your area. These issues are more common than you may realize, and all strong marriages tend to become that way by being willing (both parties) to work through hard issues. You might feel pretty alone right now, but plenty of us have been in situations which seemed just as hopeless.

[Hosnon]

26. Thank you...

Thank you..

[JVS]

24. That sucks. She shouldn't make you feel bad about it.

:hug:

[Hosnon]

27. Tis life..

I guess

[Hosnon]

16. I can't do it...

[Adsos Letter]

25. I gotta' go...feel free to PM me...I'll check tomorrow...

There is hope.

[Skittles]

28. I think she needs a Skittles butt-kicking MJ

that gal ain't giving you any slack