The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poem Thread, 8/14/07

[BlueIris]

"Precision"
for Brad Hornell, who died at Sears Point Raceway
on August 14, 1983

The day you flew in perfect arc
from your motorcycle was the same day
I broke the perfect formation of your women
at the railing, leaving behind
your grandmother and mother, to run
and jump the fence. The stop watch hanging
from my neck, suspended between gravity
and momentum, swung its perfect pendulum.

All our motion was brought to conclusion
by your broken body at rest
on the ground. Your breath never rose
to the oxygen placed on your face
and your heart never rallied
to the arms pressing your chest.
You wore the perfect clothes:
the ashy grey of death.

At the hospital they said your failure to survive
was complete. Though I never saw
the neck you perfectly broke or your body
cleanly draped by a sheet, I did see
your dead face bruising up at me
and for lack of something moving to touch,
I clutched the stopwatch
which had not died.
If any nurse or doctor had asked,
I could have told exactly,
to the hundreths of seconds, how long
it had been since I'd seen you alive.

—Laurie Duesing

[RetroLounge]

1. Holy Shit...

:cry:

RL

[Dragonbreathp9d]

2. mmm...

its ok, kind of plain -

[BlueIris]

3. Kick.

[ThomCat]

4. Wow...

:(

I hope that family has found peace and healing. That's powerful.

[BlueIris]

6. Tomorrow's poem will be happier, I swear.

[BlueIris]

5. Kickety.

[wildhorses]

7. eloquent in it is understatement

to under awe is as good as to overawe.


these 2 lines are perfect:

'...You wore the perfect clothes:
the ashy grey of death.'

thanks.

[BlueIris]

8. Wow; I would never have called this poem "understated" before you posted that.

It's so great to have reader feedback that is so incisive. Sharing these poems with people has brought me to a new understanding of many of them.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. My dear BlueIris...

Wow, just ...wow...

So stark, so plain, so very moving...

Would that we all could have such poetry on our own deaths, no matter how they occur...

Thank you...:hug:

[BlueIris]

10. No, thank *you* C-Peg.

Your posts are always so complimentary.

I can't believe some posters think this poem is "plain," though. That's curious to me. I've read it a lot and I've always experienced it as such a colorful poem, one that evokes profound visual images, so it would never have occurred to me to call it plain. These threads have reminded me how much mileage varies when it comes to appreciating poetry.

[idgiehkt]

11. wow, that is amazing.

beautiful, thanks. :hug:

[BlueIris]

12. See, "amazing" is more like what I thought people would be posting.

:shrug:

[BlueIris]

13. Kick. nt