Some classic quotes from the UK Mail on Sunday's Quotes of the Week:

[Joe Chi Minh]

'It's a telling indictment that more vote in TV talent shows than for their country's leaders.'
The latest edition of the Lonely Plant Guide to Great Britain.

'I was very clever at 11 and enormously thick at 18. I continued to go downhill until at 34 I became the editor of the Sun (Murdoch's lowest rag).'
Kelvin Mackenzie.

'You have failed to demonstrate you have strong ties with the UK'
Home Office rejects Gurkha Tul Bahadur Pun's application to live in Britain despite winning a Victoria Cross in WWII. (The VC is the ultimate military accolade for valour).

'Only Linda Evans'
Joan Collins turns on her former Dynasty star when asked if she'd ever worked with animals.

'You couldn't have been in an accident with anything cheap, could you?
Christina Doyle after a bus driven by her husband Thomas collided with a £600,000 Ferrari in Hampshire.

'He was two months behind on the rent. Now I know who he is it's a good job in hindsight that I didn't threaten him.'
Landlord tony Dodd discovers his tenant Gennaro Panzuto was a Mafia boss wanted for our murders in Italy.