I need about ten durians. Where can I get them?

[jmowreader]

We close at 6pm on Sunday, and my wife will be working then. Last time we closed early, customers were in the store until 8:45pm, which is even later than our normal Sunday close.

Okay, check this shit out: We put signs on all the doors "We close at 6pm today so our associates can enjoy the holiday." We make announcements starting an hour and a half before the store is supposed to close. And my people are STILL in the fucking building two or three hours later than they should be. Last holiday, my wife got home at 10pm. Fortunately for her, it wasn't a drinking holiday--it was Easter. This holiday is DEFINITELY a drinking holiday, and I really don't want her on the road with all the drunks.

So what I'm a-gonna do is real easy. I'm going to conduct a special customer class on making festive summer fruit salads featuring durians starting about an hour before the store is supposed to close. There's an intake for the store's air recirculation system right above the self checkout. I figure that by the time we get to the seventh or eighth durian, we should have managed to clear the entire building.

So give it up: Where can I procure ten especially foul-smelling durians on very short notice?

[u4ic]

1. The Chinese grocery store I was at on Sunday

I've just finally gotten that damn smell out of my nostrils. x(

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Post signs "Special After Closing Sale -- All Items Cost 200% of Shelf Price"

Nah, that would just encourage them.

[supernova]

3. Asian grocery store

ought to have them. I don't know about 10 of them.

[catmandu57]

4. Run em out

Sweep from the front to the back tell them firmly that you must close, either that or get on the PA and scream fire.

[jmowreader]

5. We've tried that. It doesn't work.

In fact, it encourages them to stay longer.

Durians have a different effect.

[Xipe Totec]

6. See if you can find mesquite beans too

My mom grew up in rural Mexico and even the churches closed for the summer during mesquite bean season.

For the same reason that durian is not allowed on planes.

[Taverner]

7. Ranch 99 Market

Or Lion Market