Freeper Haiku, anyone?

[Richard Steele]

This was actually an idea mentioned yesterday by DUer Petronius;
since he didn't take my suggestion to give it it's own thread,
I guess it's up to me to kick it off.

So, just to get the ball rolling, here's my first effort from
yesterday (and a full 30 seconds of effort, it was!) :

Libruls are traders
This is reel hugh- I'm series!
Get a brain, morans!


So, Loungers, post 'em if you got 'em!

[AllegroRondo]

1. my attempt

big protest today
port-a-johns for five hundred
only twelve showed up

[Richard Steele]

65. Dontcha just hate it when that happens? lol!

[DS1]

2. .

Gee Dub is preznit
lieberal trash full of hate
go shoot me a deer

[Richard Steele]

66. When you call him "Gee Dub" I picture him saying "Time to un-pimp ze country"; BOOM.....

[geardaddy]

3. here's mine

I hate furriners
They should all be sent back home
Damn librul commies

[asthmaticeog]

4. ...

Librul agenda -
what they really want is to
turn us into queers.

[Iris]

10. too bad you couldn't work in toaster ovens!

But excellent use of the homophobic tendencies of the freepers.

[Richard Steele]

62. I got one:

Them dykes is liars-
I seen hunnerts of them flicks;
no toaster nowhere!

[Iris]

69. ah! perfect! n/t

[Richard Steele]

5. :(

The Bible is truth;
Jesus said, "love thy neighbor"-
that's why I bombed that clinic.

[geardaddy]

6. That's a good 'un!

Yikes!

[Richard Steele]

11. I just realized it's not actually a haiku, though- got my # of syllables confused.

Retroactively disqualified! :evilfrown:

[Iris]

15. How about swapping the first and third line? n/t

[Richard Steele]

20. Nah- Deep13 already did the theme BETTER, down at #13. nm

[Iris]

23. ah, yes! A good one! Thanks for pointing it out! n/t

[unpossibles]

26. that just makes it that much more realistic

freepers can count? hell, they know what a haiku is?

[Richard Steele]

29. LOL! Did you see #17? nm

[Iris]

9. very nice. n/t

[Richard Steele]

12. Disqualified, though. See # 11 above. nm

[DrDan]

7. rush and sean are pigs

how can anyone listen
to them or their ilk

[Richard Steele]

8. That's more of an "ANTI-freeper" haiku.

But it's a good one, so the judges are going to allow it! :thumbsup:

[DrDan]

18. oh my - how embarrassing . . . here is my modified entry

Rush and Sean amuse
as they traverse daily news
thank god for their views

a rhyming haiku

[Deep13]

13. "prolife" haiku

Child is not a choice,
You must respect human life
Or else I kill you.

[Richard Steele]

21. Nice! Much better than my pro-life one! nm

[Deep13]

22. thanks

It was inspired by a Richard Dawkins audiobook I was listening to at lunch.

[Iris]

24. excellent! n/t

[geardaddy]

14. Another effort

I'm the NRA
You won't take my gun from me
Unless you kill me.

[geardaddy]

16. ..

We are in Eye-rack
To fight them over yonder
You must support us.

[Richard Steele]

27. Yer really good at this, geardaddy!

Hmmm- maybe TOO good.
Perhaps you've done this before,
on some other site?

(that's really more of a "calling you a FReeper troll" haiku,
but it just kinda came to me! :rofl:)

[geardaddy]

32. LMAO.

:rofl:

I can do anti-Freeper haikus better. :)

[Richard Steele]

34. That quick idea kinda led to # 33 below; I spent a whole 5 minutes on those!

So you know they just gotta be really good, right? lol.

[KamaAina]

17. Oh-kay...

I can count to five!
Seven's gonna be tough, though...
Look, Ma! A haiku!

[Richard Steele]

19. Oh, now that's some fine hi-kooin' right there! nm

[LynneSin]

25. Here's my attempt

The Gay Agenda
We must protect the children
From the gay cooties

[Richard Steele]

36. I can't believe I forgot about the cooties! D'oh!

Very nice! :thumbsup:

[Arugula Latte]

51. "Michael Moore"

Lie-bruls suck big time
Michael Moore is like Paul Pot
He is stocking me!11!1!!11

[Deep13]

28. free speech

I love my free speech.
But critics hurt Mr. Bush.
You shut the fuck up.

[unpossibles]

30. my attempts

(ahem)

Muslims ar bad guys
kill 'em all: let god sort it
who would Jesus bomb?


Slick Willy Clinton
remember when you was boss?
LIBRALS SUCK!


Welfare is real bad
Where did you put my socks, mom?
the basement smells bad


I cain't stand gay dudes
they creep me out somethin feerce
everyone wants me


freedom isn't free
whatchu mean you want taxes?
from my cold dead hands!

[Richard Steele]

38. "Everyone wants me", ROFLMAO!

That really rings true! Excellent work on all five,
but that one has to be my fave.

[geardaddy]

31. ..

Them traitor libruls
Hate America, burn flags
Commie pinko scum.

[Richard Steele]

33. FReeper TROLL haikus:

Standing up for "rights"
scares off some Independants;
I am quite concerned.

We Liberals should stop;
this could hurt us at the polls.
We should be concerned.

Say whatever sells;
cease this talk of "principles".
I'm still quite concerned.

[geardaddy]

37. Yep.

Those are good!

Let's see if I can do one.


Target should fire her.
She refuses to scan pork,
Deport her right now.

[Deep13]

43. I'm not a damn freeper troll because...

...I'm worried about swing voters.

[Richard Steele]

59. HA! That's exactly /// what a freeper troll would say /// when he was BUSTED.

Not that you are one, of course- I just can't stop Hye-kooin'. :rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

35. Here's one:

What is that Hi-koo?
Those damm ferrners made it up
Japs and queers like it

[Richard Steele]

39. That one really captures the essence of FReeper haiku! Very nice!

I think I can officially declare this experiment a success now!

So many great haiku, and so quickly. I -TOLD- Petronius this
would make a great thread- it shoulda been his.

Petronius said
he had seen freeper haiku;
I said, "Start a thread"

He didn't do it,
so I ripped off the idea-
LOOK how well it went!

[Richard Steele]

40. One last post (for now) before I go do the laundry:

Petronius said
he had seen freeper haiku;
I said, "Start a thread"

He didn't do it,
so I ripped off the idea-
LOOK how well it went!

[deutsey]

41. Freedom is not free

We cain't afford it no more
Round them up in camps

[MAGICBULLET]

42. a Freeper 5-7-5 inspired by SUV bumper stickers on Long Island

God, Guns, and Country
Love It or Leave It DUmmies
These Colors Don't Run

[Richard Steele]

53. The "bumper sticker" theme is a nice twist- because that's really what freeperism is all about.

Nicely done! :thumbsup:

[DrDan]

44. Free Republic Rules!

Morans at Evil DU
Just do not get it.

[Deep13]

45. evolution

Darwin lies to you.
Invisible friend made all.
Magic book tells me.

[geardaddy]

46. Fundy-ku

Evolutionists
are gay satan worshippers.
See the banana.

[geardaddy]

47. Adam and Eve not,

Adam and Steve, God hate f*gs
They caused Katrina.

[DrDan]

48. how about a twist on your theme

a Haiku from various DU subject lines

Bush makes power grab
Hey Democrats in Congress
How long will it last

[Richard Steele]

50. LOL, why not? We've had a few twists already. nm

[Arugula Latte]

49. "Belt Buckle"

My belt buckle
Is waaaay bigger'n my brain
I like it that way

[Richard Steele]

52. "I'd like to dedicate this next haiku....to that last haiku."

That's got "Number One
on the Billboard 'Country' Chart"
Wrote all over it.

Just add some guitar
and a feller with nice harr-
they'll call him a STAR!

:woohoo:
:patriot: :applause: :patriot: :applause:
:applause: :patriot: :applause: :patriot:
:patriot: :applause: :patriot: :applause:
:applause: :patriot: :applause: :patriot:
:patriot: :applause: :patriot: :applause:
:applause: :patriot: :applause: :patriot:

[Arugula Latte]

58. Aw heck ...

Thanks. :blush:

[Deep13]

54. family values

family values
marriage is most important
Black eye again, Dear?

[unpossibles]

55. these are fun.

hmm..

What chu lookin at?
Are you some kind of moran!?
I'm special forces!

Thos libral DUmmies
Casting hugh asparagus
Wee'r seriesly screwn

[Dukkha]

56. i'll try one

I can't stand those gays
even those I think are hot
stop turning me on!

[Richard Steele]

60. Nice! I'd say you didn't try, you succeeded! One thing, though:

Please do be careful-
Haiku can be addictive,
as I've learned today.

[rhiannon55]

57. Three more

Cast asparagus
On are god-given leader
And die, commie scum.

I am so series!!!11!!!
We must build a hugh fence or
Are homeland is screwn.

If we fight them their
They won't kill are childrun hear
There childrun don't count.

<<Edited to get the misspelling right>>

[Richard Steele]

61. Kudos for that edit- it's that sort of attention to detail that makes them truly great haiku! nm

[rhiannon55]

63. Why thanks, dicksteele!

This is a fun thread. :)

And boy did we all need it today!

[Richard Steele]

64. I know I sure needed it today.

This morning, I was really considering running amok with sharp things...
but then I started hyekoo-ing, and now there isn't time! :)

[Xipe Totec]

67. Mmm...

Freepers are lost cause
not worth seven sylables,
let alone haiku.

[Richard Steele]

68. Lol- Nice one. And good timing too...

...since this thread seems to be winding down to a stop. :thumbsup: