Birthday party for 4 & 5 year olds? Do the parents stay or leave?

[NewJeffCT]

I had posted last week about my daughter being invited to a 5 year old boy's birthday party (the religious thing I had mentioned was a non-issue - the party had pizza, ice cream cake, chocolate chip cookies, balloons, streamers, etc and a lot of your typical kids games as activities)

But, we got there a bit late and were surprised to find out that only one other parent had stayed, and the rest had dropped their kids off and left. Is this typical at that age?

[KitchenWitch]

1. I am thinking that was atypical

Around here the parents stay. At least they did at the couple of parties my daughter has been invited to.

[ThomCat]

2. I'm kind of shocked that the parents would leave.

[NewJeffCT]

4. I was, too

When I got there, I was thinking, "Are the parents outside in back? In another room?"

But, they were gone.

[Zuiderelle]

3. How many kids were there? And was it in a private home or public place?

Either way, I'd never leave a 4 or 5-year old at a party by themselves. Perhaps if it was at a trusted friend's home and only a few kids were there, I could understand some parents leaving them, but never in a public place or with more than a few kids. (Again, I wouldn't anyway.)

[NewJeffCT]

6. It was at a private home

I'd guess there were maybe a dozen kids in the 4-5 year old range. There were a couple of older kids (the brother of the birthday boy, and a couple of neighbors) and the boy's aunt & uncle were there as well.

However, the one mom who stayed there said that when she had her son's 4th birthday party a few weeks earlier, she was shocked when the parents just dropped their kids off and left - and, this was at a local farm.

[Zuiderelle]

10. With that many kids, definitely not. And I would hate to have a party where parents

dropped their kids off. Parents are not all qualified to be child-care providers capable of caring for a dozen or more kids. If I had a party like that, I would insist that at least one parent for each child stays. There is just no way to look after that many kids. One could go wandering off and no one would know with all the party mayhem.

[LeftyMom]

5. I would expect at least some parents to stay,

just because you can't have too many kids that age per adult if you want to maintain order and keep them all herded.

How many kids were there? I definitely wouldn't want to host more than 4 or 5 of that age group without help and only for an hour or so.

[NewJeffCT]

9. the party was 2 hours

And, there were maybe a dozen kids in the 4-5 year old range. The boy's mother, father, aunt and uncle were there as adults. The birthday boy also had an older brother (maybe 8 or 9) and I think two neighbors there were a bit older, too. The aunt also had her 3 year old son there as well.

[Blue Diadem]

7. I've seen it both ways, parents stay or parents leave.

I've always left it up to the host/hostess of the party and have myself asked them their preference. This was years ago when my kids were that age and they were mostly neighborhood parties. Some did say yes, they would appreciate parents staying, others said no it wasn't necessary, that they had a couple other adults to help them. My daughter does the same thing now when her daughter is invited to a party. One thing I think is important though..how well do you know the family having the party? If they're total strangers and only your child knows their child through school etc., then by all means I'd say staying is a wise choice.

[dropkickpa]

8. It's not common

But I've done it. With Dropkid, I'll tell the parents go ahead and steal a couple hours of peace (or go grab a beer, a requirement for dealing with even just 3 shrieking 6 year old girls). Most of my friends who are parents have done the same for their kids parties. Probably this is because, for the most part so far, we all know each other and are friends.

I usually only stick around if they are pretty much strangers (like at a classmates party recently, I've met the kid a few times, but never the parents). Unless it's Chuck E Sleeze, in which case I head for the hills, strangers or not. That place is the ninth circle of Hell.

[Midlodemocrat]

11. I always stayed and invited parents to stay for our parties as well.

I had some adult beverages and some adult snacks and we just hung out in the kitchen and chatted.

[LibertyLover]

12. My 4 year old daughter

was invited to a classmate's party in November. I was fully prepared to stay, but the mother didn't want us to. The party was 2 hours and she had her mother, her mother-in-law, her sister, her sister-in-law, and her husband around to help, so I guess that 8 or 9 other adults plus 10 or so kids would have been too many to handle. From what I understand from friends who have kids, some people like the parents to stay and others don't. My policy is to ask the parents throwing the party.

[AlCzervik]

13. i always stayed and i was amazed when it was my daughter's 6th birthday

party came around that parents would just their kids off and leave and more than a few times that had a younger sibling with them.

[electron_blue]

14. Typical where I live. I know bcs I'm usually the only parent who stays

If they only saw what went on they might change their mind and stay. yikes!

[NewJeffCT]

16. One thing I'm glad about

is the other mom that stayed there. Her son was such a little brat that he probably would have ruined the party for everybody if his mom wasn't there to rein him in...

[rug]

15. I just dropped my daughter off at a 5 year old's birthday party. I left.

I had to go home and make fried chicken.

[KitchenWitch]

17. And I thought you had reservations at the Olive Garden

:P

[rug]

18. Not anymore. I got thrown out of there for smoking.

[LibDemAlways]

19. I always stayed when my daughter was small, and more

than once I was glad I did. One time a mom had organized games that took the kids into the street. She and her sister-in-law didn't get along and had a loud, nasty verbal exchange that they took inside at one point - leaving the kids basically unsupervised if not for me.

I live in Southern Cal and many of the homes have pools. It would have never occurred to me to leave my daughter unattended with a pool in the yard.

Ultimately I suppose it depends on the situation. But always, better safe than sorry when it comes to small children.

[Samurai_Writer]

20. At my niece's 6th birthday party

Most of the parents stayed. I can't imagine leaving a 4 or 5 year old at a party by themself!

[JVS]

21. If the kids are old enough for school, leave. Otherwise stay

[elehhhhna]

22. Stay, hell! THEY RUN as fast as they can...

even if it's a pool party.

People are weird.

[Arkansas Granny]

23. At that age I would have stayed with my children and I would have

expected the other parents to stay with theirs if the party was at my house.