My daughter got flashed

[dropkickpa]

At recess just now, by a classmate (kindergarten). The principal called and told me about it. On one hand, it's concerning, but on the other, they're 6 years old, that's what kids do (I certainly remember flashing a friend at that age and vice-versa).

I'm kind of baffled about how to react. The boy is in detention until his mother gets there to have a meeting with the principal, I feel pretty bad for him, as I am sure he is scared witless right now. The principal told me that Dropkid didn't seem to fazed by it, she just knew it was against the rules and, being a big ol' tattletale, she ran and told immediately (a very good thing).

I'll have a talk with her this afternoon when I pick her up about what is appropriate and not and that I am proud of her for telling. I AM glad that the school called me immediately, the school she was at for 2 years of pre-k was TERRIBLE about notifying parents of anything.

Did you ever flash anyone when you were 5-6 years old?

[malta blue]

1. No flashed, but an 8 y/o convinced little MB to show him

her stuff at camp when she was 5. No one called - she told me later that night. The thing was that the kid told her he was 12 - so imagine what I was like when I called the camp director and asked why on earth at 12 y/o was hanging with a 5 y/o, telling her to show him her stuff....

The boy's parents were called in. The boy denied it, and his parents stood by him. He was not removed from the camp - but I told them if he was ever within 20 feet of my kid again I was going to contact the city (the camp was run by the city)

The worst was the camp director....when I called her about the incident she asked me "Why doesn't your child know better?" :wtf:

[xchrom]

2. i think check out your daughter to see how her reaction is.

but i wouldn't make a big deal out of it for fear of creating something that doesn't exist for her.

as far as flashing when i was that age -- me and the neighbor kids were always running around in undies and naked when we were that age.

we all went to school together -- so i guess we were always flashing each other -- but of course our parents were right there making fun of our cute little butts.

things are different today.

[youthere]

3. I flashed and was flashed. My kids all flashed and have been flashed..

All about that age. Pretty normal IMO.

[Lyric]

4. Yeah, I remember stuff like that.

This is one of those subjects where people hold vastly different opinions, so please don't take anything I say as a criticism of *you*, personally. I'm just trying to express my own thoughts--not condemn yours.

If my 6 year old got flashed at school by another kid, I'd probably react in a completely different way. I'd be angry and upset at the Principal for making a big deal of it, and scaring the hell out of the other kid, because I don't see it as something "wrong". I think curiosity about each others bodies is a good, healthy thing, and I would see the greater harm in giving the other kid negative associations with nudity. To be honest, if my Brendan got flashed at school, he'd likely not consider it important enough to go "tell" on the kid. He knows that it's never okay for another adult or child to try to touch his body, and he knows that's it's not okay for an adult non-family member to expose their private parts to him--but he'd think nothing of another kid being naked.

We are very comfortable with nudity in our home. I realize that some people don't share this view, and that's fine--each family knows best for itself. I just wanted to share my thoughts on the subject, since we both have children of that age.

[dropkickpa]

5. That's where I'm a little baffled

I don't think it warrants detention in the office until his mom arrives, it's not like Dropkid hasn't seen a "weiner" before, she's got boy cousins. She knows all about boy parts and girl parts.

I am pretty relaxed at home about nudity, both with us and on TV (I'd rather she saw a "wiener" than somebody getting their head blown off). And she knows all about the no touch rule and to come to me or another adult in charge immediately if anyone, kid or grown-up, ever tries to touch her or does something else that makes her in any way uncomfortable. She also knows that it's not appropriate to flash private parts in public. I had a REAL problem with her mooning people, believe me, it's taken me telling her if it's covered by clothes it shouldn't be shown to get rid of that lovely habit (it would pop up EVERYWHERE, grocery store, bus stop, library etc).

I am not upset with the principal for her reaction, she actually seemed really matter-of-fact and slightly amused, but our school district has a no tolerance policy because a lot of unpleasant incidents in the past at many different schools and there are procedures that need to be followed (a good friend's 7 year old was told by a 12 yo that he was going to rape her several years ago and even though daughter reported it immediately, my friend didn't find out until she got home from work that night). She told me they are just going to have a talk about what is not appropriate and try to not scare him too much. But they do have to document a meeting that day with a parent in this type of incident.

I'm surprised that Dropkid didn't flash him back, to be honest.

[Zuiderelle]

9. I think your school has a good policy, and I think it was right of your daughter to report it.

Yes, there is probably TOO much that falls under the umbrella of no-tolerance these days, but if it saves ONE child from being hurt, or protects one child from being a victim, even from another child it's worth it. I was a victim of another (older) child when I was a child, and never reported it to anyone, since I wasn't sure at the time that it was wrong. This instance probably was innocent by itself (mine was not), but it teaches children to not accept that behavior in anyone, including adults who are the real danger to them.

I think having this policy is a good thing, as long as the children are not humiliated or punished inappropriately in the process, and it sounds like they are not. They are waiting for the parent instead of taking it upon themselves to explain the situation to the child. I think that he should be made to understand the reason that what he did is not acceptable (and why) and would be wrong if he did it a second time, but that he isn't wrong for having done it and won't be punished.

[SPKrazy]

6. My son wouldn't even think there was anything to that

and he is just now 7 today. But if he "flashed" someone, he wouldn't know the difference.

He has not ever been shamed, he's been told that we don't show other people our privates, but it sounds like this is either an innocent situation or maybe not.

:shrug:

[SmokingJacket]

7. I grew up in California in the 70's...

seems everyone was naked.

Definitely got shown a lot of little boy equipment when I was a kid... not a big deal.

[av8rdave]

8. I hope the boy's mother and the principle don't make too big a deal about it

Someone needs to tell the boy that it wasn't appropriate, but if they turn it into a huge deal, it could really cause trauma and do more harm than good.

Kids that age still don't know what's appropriate, and do a lot of acting out.

[NewWaveChick1981]

10. When I was six or seven, one of the boys my age said he had something to show me.

:) And he did. And I thought it was fascinating at the time. :) I told my parents, who were mildly concerned but knew it was natural curiosity. My mother explained that there was nothing wrong with wanting to look at someone else's body, but that if he or anyone else tried to touch me or do something bad to me that I was to tell her immediately. I promised I would if it ever happened. It never happened as a child, which I'm glad about.

[Little Wing]

11. I was doing near full gynecological exams at that age

not in school of course, and did reciprocate

:shrug:

[ContraBass Black]

12. I was never flashed until I was 16.

Is that unusual?

[BluePatriot]

13. Yeah, actually

A younger friend and I had a tree house and we went up there one day and flashed the neighbor's window b/c we thought it would be funny.

Seems normal for that age. I hope the boy doesn't get some kind of record or something. Zero tolerance policies suck.

[LSdemocrat]

14. I just hope the school leaves it at one day detention and talk with the parent for the boy

Anything more than that would do more harm for the kid than good. If you can't tell, I really hate zero tolerance policies in schools.

[dropkickpa]

15. I think that's all they're doing

And I don't think it was even a whole days detention, just until his mom got there and they had their talk. I'm not a big fan of the zero tolerance policies, but this one doesn't seem to carry the same bad consequences that, say, bringing a squirtgun to class or some such silliness has. I would have to think that it's almost expected of 6 year olds to do this sort of thing.

[pdx_prog]

16. I grew up in the 70's....

I flashed a girl my stomach one time standing in the lunch line in 2nd grade. I wouldn't have ever flashed the package though...

[Debi]

17. No, but I got flashed when I was 16

A group of us (okay, we were all cheerleaders :cry:) walked down to the corner store one night to get snacks and sodas(we were having an all night practice/sleepover). On our way back a guy stopped us and asked us if we wanted to go to a party. We were so naive that we told him we were already having a party at the house we were at. He then pulled out his penis and asked if we wanted some of it. One of the girls screamed and we all started running. When I got home the next morning I told my folks and they made me go down and give a report to the police. When it ended up in the paper all my cheerleader buddies went ga-ga that I'd told. x( Ugh, high school memories...

[wildhorses]

18. back in my day --- at that age ---

i would have punched him in the nose...wiped my hands off and gone to play on the monkey bars.

yeah, i was a tomboy:P

[trof]

19. Me an' Sonny Bledsoe touched Tee Tees once.

We outgrew it.
;-)

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

20. I was a drive by kisser

in kindergarten :) Think they told me 'we don't do those things in school' and don't recall getting in trouble at home but geeze that was a long time ago for me.............. maybe I did :shrug:

[mentalsolstice]

21. 5 or 6? That's a late bloomer!

I was 3 or 4 when I flashed and got flashed! :evilgrin: