Comics fans...

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

I wrote this flight of fancy for my high school paper. Give me your thoughts, and feel free to contribute your own.

CONSERVATIVE POLITICIANS ARE SECRETLY SUPERVILLAINS: AN INVESTIGATIVE REPORT

George W. Bush and the Green Goblin

Similarities: Large, comical ears, maddening cackle, enthusiasm for bombs, likes to take to the air in ridiculous outfits, tendency to be impaled by own weapons, father and son with same alias.
Differences: The Green Goblin is a genius; the Goblin also uses a strength-enhancing chemical to commit crimes whereas Bush simply relies on a potent mix of Bombay Sapphire and pain medication.


Dick Cheney and Herr Starr

Similarities: Willing to kill innocent people to further agenda, proficient with firearms, curses a lot, once held position of “Sacred Executioner”
Differences: Starr is dead; Starr has military experience.

Condoleezza Rice and Harley Quinn

Similarities: Has pretty obvious “thing” for employer; keeps coming back to said employer against better judgment; long-lived despite little practical purpose.
Differences: Quinn has been known to occasionally question her boss’ decisions; Quinn looks natural when smiling.

Bill Frist and Doctor Octopus

Similarities: Embarrassing, whitebread haircut; makes one think that obtaining a doctorate must be really, really easy, makes up scientific facts as he needs them, has no problem with torture.
Differences: Doc Ock has always been one guy; Frist was recently killed off and replaced with the younger, hipper secret identity of Bob Corker. Also, to his credit, Doc Ock never mutilated stray cats to get his doctorate.

Bob Dole and General Zod

Similarities: Refers to self in third person long after it stops being cute; military experience; hatred of humanity; was once legitimate threat but has since faded.
Differences: Bob Dole looks nothing like Terrence Stamp; also, he derives his strength from hair dye rather than Earth’s sun.

Scott McClellan and Mysterio

Similarities: Creates elaborate illusions which fall apart upon further investigation, similar head shape, one of several people to hold job.
Differences: Mysterio’s illusions fool people who aren’t already easily fooled.

Donald Rumsfeld and Vandal Savage

Similarities: Appears throughout history as advisor to notorious conquerors; looks okay for his age; does a lot of soliloquizing.
Differences: Due to the nature of comic book deaths, it is likely Savage will appear again in the future. Rumsfeld, not so much.

Sam Brownback and Stilt-Man

Similarities: I hate them both.
Differences: Stilt-Man is not from Kansas, or completely obsessed with irrelevant wedge issues.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

1. BWAHAHAA!

:rofl: :thumbsup:

I especially like this one:

The Green Goblin is a genius; the Goblin also uses a strength-enhancing chemical to commit crimes whereas Bush simply relies on a potent mix of Bombay Sapphire and pain medication.

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. This list is an insult to supervillians everywhere.

George W. Bush is not capable of developing technology of any sort.

Dick Cheney is not proficient with fire arms.

Condoleeza Rice is just not that cool.

Bill Frist could never be portrayed by Alfred Molina. :)

Dole as General Zod? More like Bizzaro Superman.

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

3. I considered Dole as Bizarro

All I could come up with were that they referred to themselves in the third person and their hair was a black not found in nature. And I guess that they were the polar opposite of their chosen foe.

[philosophie_en_rose]

4. Everything Bizarro says is the opposite of what he intends.

So maybe he would be Rove? But Rove looks more like the Penguin.

Actually, a lot of Republicans look just like the Penguin. Rove, Limbaugh, Cheney, etc.

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

5. Not a comic book character, but...

Keyser Soze and Jack Abramoff.
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/e/ed/350px-Keyser-Söze.jpg

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world his ties to disgraced lobbyists didn't exist. And like THAT... the subpoena's gone.