If a person...

[Writer]

feels the need to call attention to his/herself...

shares his/her problems with you but doesn't listen to your problems...

complains of being mistreated but doesn't see how he/she is mistreating others...

is cruel to you when he/she is not the center of your attention...

then what kind of person are they?

[jpgray]

1. Normal

Everyone does all these things to a certain degree.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. Attention whore.

[Maine-ah]

4. second that

[Name removed]

21. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

22. "The irony is astounding?"

[Blue-Jay]

24. Yes.

Which term do you need a link to? "Irony" or "Astounding"?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

30. I know what both terms mean, but thank you for your offer of help.

:eyes:

[Blue-Jay]

34. heh.

:rofl:

[jpgray]

25. I think it is as well

Every person I've met has fulfilled all these descriptors at some time or another. But in general I hate patting myself on the back and telling myself how non-selfish I am. Mostly because that is selfish behavior, maybe. No shame in it as we all do it, but I think it's important to recognize it as such.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

27. I agree with that. I was referring to people that do it on a very regular basis.

[Blue-Jay]

35. Do what?

Look for finger-wagging opportunities?

[jpgray]

39. True. I think most people experience those thoughts on a regular basis

But I think some are better at catching themselves so that it has less of an impact on their behavior than others.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

43. That's a good way of putting it.

[idgiehkt]

3. I was gonna say

NPD but you probably know that already. :hi:

[Writer]

5. It's amazing to me how many I bump into who exhibit those tendencies...

I'm starting to think it's the Great American Plague.

[idgiehkt]

8. A lot of people are starving inside.

I think it happens in older women particularly because they feel invisible because so much emphasis is placed on looks where women are concerned. I often wonder about this...it's really sad but it seems really prevalent to me that older women are starving for attention and recognition in this culture.

[Writer]

17. Either I am a magnet for these types or there really are that many out there...

every year, a new one appears in my life. Every time, I look at that person and see the odd similarity in behavior and think, "uhhh... is this for real?" I have many examples to the contrary, but why does that one in ten always seem to come my way?

[idgiehkt]

19. I think they are in everyone's life

I recently had someone tell me that my whole time spent on DU and all the friendships I've formed here since I started were done simply in order to glean information about them. I really think we all have people like this in our lives, so don't feel like they are all coming your way. It's just such a striking trait, because reciprocity is not that hard to give. I really think folks like this are trying to fill a hole that is bottomless; I don't think it's hopeless but I do think that they need to get counseling and figure out what it is within them that needs to be sated.

[Writer]

23. See there's the rub... will they recognize that they need help?

I think that's the kicker. Some will because they're still tender, but many won't because they simply think they don't have a problem.

As far as what was said to you: ewwww. As far as DU goes (or the internet for that matter) judging people you don't know nor will ever meet is the serious human failing of populist media. We are not as rational as we think we are.

[idgiehkt]

26. "the populist media"

I like that; I didn't know there was a name for it. I wish I had your education so I could understand what you are saying better. As it stands, I kind of get your gist. I know I have been dreadfully, regrettably wrong about people I've known in person (for years, lol) so why people think sufficient information can be discerned here is kind of a mystery. But they do, en masse, even. Perhaps we make up in hive mind what we lack in concrete evidence?

[Writer]

36. I think people think they can truly understand one another via the internet...

because they have too much faith in their ability to reason. ("It's all about ME!") That groupthink you're referring to is a product of this false belief. We find others who share our beliefs then just feed each other what we want to believe is true. They then form their own version of "truth." And we ALL do it - liberal, conservative, and in between. The marketplace of ideas is a myth because we are unwilling to open our doors to new ideas and instead indulge in a cultism to propagate our beliefs (read: OURSELVES) to the rest of the public.

Populism is dead. We killed it.

[idgiehkt]

41. I can see that

the 'cultism' you are talking about. Because everyone is cordonned off according to what they are interested in now. I do believe this has it's upside, because it seemed back in the day there was a dominant paradigm, maybe by necessity; now everyone can be in their own dominant paradigm. I think we are becoming more isolated though. I hope it will bring more awareness to the fact that the truth is usually extremely complex and that there are as many truths as their are perceptions, but I don't know...

[Writer]

45. You really hit on something with the "dominant paradigm."

Because we have been, at least in liberal enclaves, been proposing the "alternative paradigm" that assumes a Marxist logic: that the proletariat will always be downtrodden. You might as well fight the unwinnable fight because The Man will always propagandize the masses and take advantage of the working class, etc. etc. etc. You may disagree, but I personally believe this logic (and why I hate Chomsky so fucking much) is defeatist.

But what does Marx say in a world of one million alternative paradigms? What then? Who's fight is it, really? And whoever makes it to the top - are they not also vulnerable to the same corrupting, hegemonic ideas? And will they be able to lead?

[idgiehkt]

56. good points

"And will they be able to lead?" Will it even be necessary? Will it be practical to have leaders? I think society organized by submission to the dominant paradigm (which is really at heart just who is capable of the most brute force) is by nature violent and warlike; we are genetically programmed to be this way, supposedly; each person submits to the next up the scale that has more might. Part of my mind is going "but the animal kingdom is like this from tip to tail", and then another part of me is going "but since we are at the top of the food chain, or consider ourselves to be in every other way (except when it comes to discussion where it is convenient for us to be animals, like justifying the brutality du jour) shouldn't we by nature be able to at least attempt to come up with something different if we can get to the moon or build atom bombs?

[Richardo]

50. OK that covers the 'older women;...

....now what about the middle age posers, incessant flirters, sanctimonious lifesyle mullahs and college age lesbians?

[Susang]

51. Bravo!

:applause:

This "older woman" was wondering the same damn thing! ;-)

[idgiehkt]

58. that was said with compassion

and based on prior conversations with Writer. It was not an insult to older women, it was an observation that not only are older women invisible in this society, but many don't seem to think that they have any right or entitlement to visibility, at least my older female relatives don't, but many of them are southern. When I said older I was referring to 60's and 70's.

[bridgit]

61. there it is...

:thumbsup:

[Zuiderelle]

59. Gee, I wonder at what age I will be when I start starving for attention.

What a very, very odd thing to say. In my experience, the older a woman gets the less she cares about what society has forced on her, re. emphasis on looks, etc. I've seen a lot of attention-starved people and they are rarely older women.

[idgiehkt]

62. background

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5668781#5671879

for those who don't understand my reference here. Yes, this is actually contiguous with something else in the universe and not just an arbitrary prejudicial post.

I have to disagree with you, though, based on my own cultural experience.Many older women in my family were undervalued and overlooked, and they rightfully felt neglected, but some of them have expressed it in odd ways because they didn't feel justified in their feelings of being overlooked and having their contributions (cooking for family get-togethers, watching grandchildren and great grandchildren, sewing, quilting, etc), taken for granted. I come from a very traditional southern family though, so sometimes the younger women didn't fare much better.

[Zuiderelle]

63. Ok, so there's background and personal experience.

Thanks for the explanation. You understand however that your post was in response to Writer saying "It's amazing to me how many I bump into who exhibit those tendencies...I'm starting to think it's the Great American Plague." I read your response as saying that you think that older women fall into this Great American Plague category than others.

[idgiehkt]

64. I can see how that might be the conclusion

Because sometimes we forget we are not having private conversations, lol. I just have seen this a whole lot in my family and I find it painful because I was one of those kids who was born 40 and I always loved being around my grandmother and being at her house. I've lived with her three separate times in my adult life, including her final three years when I was her primary caregiver until her death. It just seems like these women contribute so much to the backbone, or are the backbone of the family, but are appreciated so little in comparison to their contributions. I forgot about Writer's prior post.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

6. A GD poster?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. Or that.

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

13. I just posted in a thread over there, too.

I'm gonna hide in the Lounge for a bit. :rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

14. Oh God...

that thread is like heading straight into the belly of the beast.

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

15. More like the asshole of the beast.

:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

16. You are evil.

That's why I like you.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

18. Likewise!

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

46. Poor baby -- do you want some EVOO?

Or, I can put "30 Minute Meals" on for you.

You're crazy. GD has been a bloodbath lately.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

47. I'm getting him this for his b-day.

[supernova]

9. A Narcissist

Narcissists have all the time in the world to tell you about every little thing in their lives (And genuinely expect your preferrably undevided attention) but have little patience for any of your wants/needs/foibles.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. self centered and selfish. most people are.

i used to have this roomie in college. she used to go on and on about herself. most annoying. i discovered the easiest way to get rid of her is to relate a problem of your own.

[Xipe Totec]

11. ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpAC9YHU5ts

[Redbear]

12. Sounds like the entire Bush Administration

[sundog]

20. wonderful

[sundog]

28. loving

[sundog]

29. affectionate

[sundog]

32. sweet

[sundog]

33. perfect in every way

[sundog]

38. exhibiting grace under pressure

[sundog]

40. great sense of humor

[sundog]

42. a "shy guy" if you will

[jpgray]

52. I won't

:P

[redqueen]

60. i read all that

in the computer voice from radiohead's "Fitter Happier"

*sigh*

[sundog]

66. i'm just uptight

much better earworm i think :D

[redqueen]

67. you misspelled 'sexy'

:7

[SKKY]

31. My Wife!!!

Naaahhh. Just kidding.

[slj0101]

37. The average DU Lounge poster.

:P

[Magrittes Pipe]

44. This is correct.

:thumbsup:

[Blue-Jay]

48. YOU'RE one to talk, you Attention Whore!

Remember when you were the Lounge "It-Boy"?

Remember that? Oh yeah, that was all well & good at the time and I......I.... You....


Shit. I just blew a Fake-Outrage gasket. Can I get a hug instead?

:hug:

[sundog]

49. yeah, look in the mirror alhedges

[meegbear]

53. Psychic Vampire ...

Check your Satanic Bible.

[bridgit]

54. you beat me to it, meegbear...

:scared:

[grace0418]

55. My mom.

Seriously, a pretty apt description.

[PVnRT]

57. Asshole

n/t

[momophile]

65. a MIL

did I just say that? silly me.