The stupidest way in the entire world to get fired

[jmowreader]

Oh, don't worry. It wasn't me.

First order of business: Swallow. I am not going to be held responsible for the destruction by immersion of forty thousand keyboards.

Okay, now that you've taken care of that, one of my co-workers came up to me on Tuesday. "Did you hear about (another co-worker--we'll call him Joe; Joe is a black guy,which is important to this story)?" No...

On Monday, Joe was loading a customer who's known for bossing our people around. Get me this, get me that, I don't like any of those fifty boards you pulled so go get different ones, fetch me forty sheets of drywall and have it put on my bill. A real asshole, but he spends a lot of money with us, or at least he used to, so they give him some leeway.

The guy was buying two skids of pickets--640 pickets total. You must understand that pickets are log run--they take a log, cut it up and bundle it together without grading each piece. Typically, if you're a really picky fence contractor you'll buy ten to twenty percent more than you need and return the ones you didn't like. This customer was different: he'd calculated his requirements to the inch and wanted Joe to break open five skids of pickets, hand-select 900 pickets, choose the best 640 of that 900, allow the customer to approve every one of them, then reband those pickets with 2x4s on top and bottom to protect the pickets from the bands and load the rebanded bundles on his truck. Which is totally outrageous. No one has time to do that, nor do we really have the room to lay 1600 pickets out for inspection, but this guy wanted Joe to do it.

Joe looked the guy right in the eye and told him, "yes massa, yes massa, nigger do what you say." While...uhh...the store manager, the district manager, and twelve associates were within earshot.

[Coventina]

1. I actually don't think that was the stupidist way to get fired.

I know a guy who got fired for stealing an egg from the company cafeteria, after he'd been warned that if he stole any more food he'd be fired.

Now that's stupid.

[Lost-in-FL]

2. Food service is very tricky...

Someone was fired at my hospital's cafeteria for taking a giant beef bone home for their dog!!! Can you believe that!??

[Coventina]

4. I can understand where there would sometimes be gray areas

with food by-products and those that work in the cafeteria.

But this was an engineer, making good money, sneaking food from the front line. He'd been caught before, and warned. But he just had to have that hard-boiled egg I guess.

:eyes:

[Lost-in-FL]

7. He sure sounds like a

Republican to me.

[Coventina]

10. If I had to guess, I would say he probably was

He was a real swell guy.

He claimed something called a "200 mile rule" that if you are 200 miles or more away from your spouse, you can sleep around and it's not cheating.

He also liked to brag about various road rage incidents that he was involved in.

Sometimes I wonder what he's doing now.

[wildhorses]

3. the way i read it

color really does not have much to do with it. anyone that said that would have been fired no matter what their color:shrug:

[Little Wing]

5. Talk about pissing your way out of a job in

of forget it, yep that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard regarding getting fired

[uppityperson]

6. sarcasm to a customer while managers are nearby is bad.

understandable, but still bad.

[XemaSab]

8. Oh, that's not even close.

http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070119/NEWS10/301190003/1001

A Des Moines hotel worker has been fired for using her employer's computer to keep a massive, detailed journal cataloging her efforts to avoid work.

[crispini]

11. Bwahahaha!

- "I don't feel like doing a single worthwhile thing today. It's 11:00 and so far I have stuck to that. ... I have managed to waste half of the day doing nothing constructive. That isn't exactly an easy task, either."

- "It's noon already and I don't feel like I have accomplished a damn thing. Accomplishment is overrated, anyway."

- "I just have to get through the next seven hours and forty-six minutes and then I will be free."

:rofl:

[Okiojira]

13. Yes, I think Emmalee has Joe beat by a mile!

[idgiehkt]

9. Joe might think it was worth it.

:rofl:

that is one of the funniest things I've ever heard, truthfully.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. Stupid, sure -- but really funny, too.

[SKKY]

14. I will only say that I've seen people NOT get fired for much worse than that.

[buddhamama]

15. Locking...

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