So, if I put on a penis enlargment patch & a nicotine patch

[matcom]

will my penis grow up to be a non-smoker?

i really must know.

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Hate to tell you this, sparky.

It's already full grown. :cry:

My BFF loves you anyway.








:hide:

[matcom]

3. but my email says I can get an extra 3 inches!

So I have 30 of them on right now!

[ohiosmith]

2. Yes. However for the first few weeks it will get up in the middle of night looking for butts.

[matcom]

4. you are fucking KILLING ME today!

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

[schmuls]

11. Ha ha ha heheheeheh snurfel, snurp, uuff, uuuu he he he he haha!

[Mrs.Matcom]

13. hey now!

Don't give him any ideas!!! :rofl:

[ohiosmith]

14. It is an uncontrollable temporary side effect. You may want to consider sleeping elsewhere for

the foreseeable future.

[matcom]

16. only TEMPORARY?

:cry:

[ohiosmith]

19. It can be made permanent. Do you have access to some duct tape, WD40, and a 12 gauge shotgun shell?

Oh yeah, someone dressed in a french maid outfit. Preferably female.

[matcom]

20. no... I was talking about the Butt-Cravings

i was going to invest in K-Y

[ohiosmith]

22. Sorry. Misunderstood. That will never go away.

:thumbsup: Bottoms up.

[Mrs.Matcom]

18. Ok!

Let's see, Guest room bed made up...check!
Lock on door...nope! aaaaaah! Must go to Lowe's and get a dead bolt!

[ohiosmith]

23. And stop by the junkyard to see if you can rent their dog.

[Little Wing]

34. That was good

:applause:

[Maine-ah]

5. I think you'll need to worry when....

your penis has been chain-smoking for 4 hours or more :silly:

[SOteric]

6. Obviously this depends on whether

it's a toddler or a teenager.

[matcom]

7. does it really matter

if it's in an Olive Garden?

[SOteric]

8. Of course it does.

Wouldn't want anyone mistaking your toddler for a breadstick. :spank:

[xchrom]

9. all i can think of is...

cocksmoker.

don't ask me why?

[GoneOffShore]

10. Now you've done it

IBTL



:rofl:

[edbermac]

12. It's better than taking Viagra and prune juice

You wouldn't know if you were coming or going.

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. You should seek medical attention if

smoke comes from your penis for more than four hours.

[In_The_Wind]

17. I don't know.

It might look a little funny.

[TheBaldyMan]

21. no but you will be able to smoke your own beef

[rateyes]

25. ROFLMAO...

THAT was funny :rofl:

[NC_Nurse]

24. Conflicting meds...

the nicotine will stunt it's growth! }(

[matcom]

26. well, since you are the nurse....

is there a 'rub' to counteract that affliction?

:evilgrin:

[NC_Nurse]

27. I'm sure there is....

in fact most rubbing will help it grow.

Just make sure there's not too much friction. ;)

[matcom]

28. can you show me how?

I want to make sure my 'technique' is correct :7

[NC_Nurse]

29. That is SOOOO wrong!

You know I'm way to proper for that!!! :o

[matcom]

30. if you let me leave the hospital without the proper medication information...

how will I know what dose is best? :shrug:

[NC_Nurse]

31. Ask your pharmacist of course...

don't you watch the commercials?

[matcom]

32. she denied me the Morning After Pill

:cry:

I can't turn to anyone

[Jamastiene]

33. No, you'll end up with a huge

nicotine addiction as opposed to a regular one, but you'll have less trouble with those urges to suck on something. :evilgrin:

[Little Wing]

35. It'll be just like switching to 100s

[matcom]

37. full flavor?

:shrug:

[Little Wing]

36. and if your erection lasts for more than 5 minutes, call your fire department

[conscious evolution]

38. Just be careful when you flick your bic!

[Xipe Totec]

39. Is that what happened to Pinocchio? n/t

[barb162]

40. I never heard of a penis enlarger patch

[jmowreader]

41. They sell them via spam

The spammers guarantee them to work, money back if not completely satisfied.

What they're not telling you is that the "patch" consists of a concrete block and a tube of Liquid Nails.