How hard should a parent push their kids with school?

[Connonym]

My daughter is starting to fill out her class requests for her freshman year of high school. She's long expressed an interest in becoming a psychiatrist. The school has a charter program for students who want to pursue a career in medicine. They also offer advance placement courses that will allow her to test out of some college classes. The problem is that none of her friends are particularly academic and I think she down plays her brains to try to fit in. How hard should a mom push in this kind of situation? Do I make her at least try the advanced classes and encourage her to work harder or do I let her coast along getting A's and B's in regular classes without putting forth much effort at all?

[plcdude]

1. I think you have

answered your own question.

[Rosie1223]

2. I'll admit to being pushy

But selective universities like to see AP and honors classes on transcripts even if the student doesn't get A's in them. Good luck!

[skygazer]

3. Define "push"

Rather than phrase it like that, it might be a good idea to talk with your daughter and point out that there is no shame in having brains or liking schoolwork - I did the same thing in high school. Downplayed my intelligence to fit in with the other kids and to attract boys who seem to be intimidated by smart girls. But that stuff doesn't last - worthwhile men appreciate a woman with brains and who wants to belong to a group of 30 or 40 year old morans?

Put it to her as a decision she has to make about what she wants. Then hold her to it by reminding her of what her goals are and what the end result can be.

[Omphaloskepsis]

4. Your daughter will give you a better answers than random idiots on the intertubes.

[Ariana Celeste]

5. You know better then we would...

A couple of my friends and I downplayed our academic abilities and we all regret it today. You could tell her that you understand the want to fit in, and that she will have plenty of other things to discuss with her friends besides the classes she is taking.
It also depends on what kind of kid she is. Some kids if you push them too hard will do badly as a sort of rebellion. Either way I'd say just try to work with her on it, push her, but also show her you understand where she is coming from. You'll know what to do! :hug:

[montanto]

6. push vs slack??

push, of course!

[WeRQ4U]

7. Push her.

That's your job as a parent. You don't have a be a Nazi about it. However, it is your duty as a parent to do what is right for your children. Allowing them to coast through without any attempt to better themselves, simply because their less motivated friends do not think it's "cool", is not a good enough reason.

When she's finished with high school (and has already been privy to the knowledge you "pushed" upon her) you can allow her to make her own choices. At least by that time, she might be better prepared to MAKE those decisions inteligently.

[carly denise pt deux]

8. she is a freshman

starting high school....freshman year at a new school can be pretty stressful, have her take a one or two advanced classes to see if she likes them....my daughter has been doing advanced classes for 2 years, dual credit with the college, it's ALOT more extra time studying and doing projects than her friends would be doing who are not in those classes. She was more mature in the 11th and 12 grades, and she pushes her own self to do her best..she is planning on being a doctor, and already has several college credit hours in her senior year.
Carly

[philosophie_en_rose]

9. Push her to reach her potential.

If her friends don't accept smart kids, they don't deserve to be her friend.

You could always talk to the AP teachers to find out what kind of work is expected. Then sit down with your daughter and discuss which classes she should take.