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I totally chickened out about telling my mother i am moving in with Lisa.

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:35 PM
Original message
I totally chickened out about telling my mother i am moving in with Lisa.
After ages we had a decent conversation that didnt make me want to stomp on my phone.

she even asked me how my friend lisa was doing.

i told her my lease was running out soon and i would be moving.

she asked me where...but i just couldnt tell her i am moving in with lisa. i knew it would end badly. So i just chickened out.

Now i feel like such a loser.


Sigh!

:cry:
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. You'll tell her when you're ready
There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing something on your own emotional time line. You're not a "loser", you just aren't ready for that particular conversation right now.
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hey sweetie...
If it helps...I've been living with Sniffa and the Mrs since June...None of our parents even know that we're together, they think we're roommates...Talk about chicken! :o

:hug:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. thanks dear. that makes me feel much better.
its not that i am not out to her. i am. but she conveniently forgets. and coming out year after year is exhausting.
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:44 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. It's ok...
You do it when you're ready...I was going to tell my Mom, but with her brain surgery and stuff, not a good time lately...And as for Sniffa and the Mrs, it's up to them when they are ready to talk to their own parents.

You'll do it, when you feel the time is right, and you're ready for it. :hug:
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. Ah yes, parents in denial
I once knew a gay couple who had that problem. One of the men was out to his whole family, and they were okay with it, but the other one couldn't quite bring himself to have The Talk with his fundy parents.

So I'd meet the guy's mother, and she'd talk about how she was hoping that her son would find a "nice Christian girl" and settle down.

This was the mother of a man who 1) had been living with the same man for 18 years, 2) had bought a house with him, 3) was involved in a whole range of pursuits that are considered stereotypically gay, 4) and, in those sad days, was continually attending the funerals of friends who had died of AIDS.

If those weren't enough hints...

:shrug:
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:40 PM
Original message
You aren't a loser for not feeling like getting into a
confrontation right now. Maybe you should do it after it's a fait accompli. :hug:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
4. Yup, that was my suggestion
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:43 PM
Response to Original message
7. i will tell her before i do it. because i feel like she should be able to accept her daughter
but i know its going to be another difficult conversation
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. I don't blame you one bit, and you know your mother best.
My thought is that if she believes she has a chance to make your change your mind, she's will try & that will add to your stress. Needless to say, whatever you do I am thrilled for both you and Lisa.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
3. dupe, delete.
Edited on Thu Jan-25-07 02:40 PM by crim son
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
5. Just move in...
then send her a greeting card.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #5
17. that would be funny.
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Connonym Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:43 PM
Original message
You're not ready, nothing wrong with that
I think you need to cut yourself some slack. It's HARD to tell people things they don't want to hear. It's especially hard, I think, to tell your parents something that you know will hurt them. As long as your friend Lisa doesn't feel it is a slight, I don't see any reason to wait until it feels right. Mazel tov on moving to the next step in your relationship.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
16. i dont think lisa has told her parents yet. but i dont really know how she will feel about it.
i will tell her later tonight.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:43 PM
Response to Original message
8. Far as I know, there are no rules dealing with that.
You'll know when the time is right to tell her.
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
10. Don't beat yourself up over it.
You'll have another chance to tell her. Pick a time when you can do something positive for yourself after the conversation ends badly. That may make it a little easier. :hug:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. thats a great idea. maybe i will tell her just be before i shedule a massage
or umm lisa-time
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
12. ---
:hug:


you will find the courage in time and until then it is okay:hi:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. thanks love.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
18. my mom took it pretty well when I told her I was moving to Utah w/ Kyle
You may be suprised :)
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. my mom is homophobic. i wont be surprised. i will be sad.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. ugh
Sorry to hear that sweetie =(
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
21. You're not a loser, pri
Everyone has things that are difficult to say to certain people. This is yours. You'll eventually find the right time and way to tell her.

Congrats, btw, on your move.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. thanks sg. i just feel cowardly.
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