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To the lovelorn, and the lost, and the suffering, and the lonely during this holiday season,

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 07:58 PM
Original message
To the lovelorn, and the lost, and the suffering, and the lonely during this holiday season,
Edited on Sat Dec-23-06 08:07 PM by Redstone
listen to me now:

Although you may feel that you have nothing, trust me that we all of us, including you, do have something if we only look to find it; and keep that thought in your heart to cheer you through these days and the days to come.

Whatever your situation, you still can have faith. Faith not perhaps in the religious sense, but rather in the confidence that the characteristics of the good that you possess, whether it be empathy for others, a commitment to better the world, or just the fact that you've made another person's life a little bit better by being there; this faith can sustain you.

And yet more important, you can find hope, and hope will never abandon you if you allow it to live in your heart. Hope will sustain you through the dark days and years, and will reward you in the end for keeping it quietly within you. Have hope, and you will persevere. Have hope, and your perseverance will be its own reward. No matter the final outcome, you will be the better for having persevered; the struggle is engendered with its own nobility and worth.

Charity, much like faith and hope, rewards and honors both the giver and the recipient. If you feel that your life is not as it should be, do please sacrifice just one day to volunteer in a soup kitchen. The gratitude expressed by those who are genuinely less fortunate than you, unless you are of granite heart, will provide an invaluable lesson in perspective.

And if you are so unfortunate that you find yourself in the necessity of being a client at a soup kitchen, note the generosity of the volunteers who do not go to work there for any profit to themselves, but rather out of a genuine desire to make some small part of your life better, for only one simple reason: Because they care. Make a vow then, if you will, that when your station in life rises above its current level, that you will pass their generosity along to others who may then be where you were today, there in that soup kitchen.

Faith and hope are nutrition for the soul, and charity is its own reward.

If you wonder why I write this tonight, it's this: Whoever you are, I have been you.

I have known poverty. I remember the taste of Government Surplus food. I have known the shame of walking to school in the morning, knowing that my patched and mended clothes would be noticed and remarked upon. I have known adult poverty as well, hoping that the fifty dollars I squirreled away for my son's Christmas presents would be enough that he'd be happy on Christmas morning.

I have worked the crappy, dead-end jobs: Driven the taxi, endured the 100-degree temperature while nailing shingles to the roof, sweated in the cardboard-box factory for small wages and less respect.

I have known pain and sickness, being at the very brink of death at the ages of fourteen, nineteen, and again at twenty-four; each time with the calm acceptance of the inevitable followed by the amazement of survival. And the shadows of those events stalk me even now, so long after. To this day, my first awareness each morning upon awakening, and my last awareness each night upon falling asleep, is of pain. And that will never change. Ever.

I have known heartache, losing loved ones far too early, surviving an inadvisable marriage to a woman afflicted with mental illnesses which she would not even acknowledge, much less seek treatment for, and bore the brunt every day of her rage and incapacity for rational thought. I took the beatings for over four years, for the sake of my son, and went through a hideous divorce that depleted every financial resource I had built, including every cent of my retirement account, to ensure that my son would not have to suffer his mother's madness.

I tell you this not to ask for sympathy, because I deserve none. I have a wonderful life now, and nothing to complain about. I am, truly, one of the fortunate ones, and not a single day passes that I do not remind myself of that. Rather, I tell you these true stories so you may understand that it is the truth when I say, I have been you.

I have been where you are, there on the brink of despair.

But I had faith.

I never lost hope.

And on those Thanksgiving and Christmas days when I was alone and missing my son and the rest of my family, I worked at the soup kitchen, and returned home more content than I would have been if I had spent the day in self-pity. Charity healed me, in the giving of it.

So listen to me, please, because I've been where you are: Have faith. Do not give up hope.

If depression wraps you in its malignant cloak, yell for help if you need to. Depression is not anything to be ashamed of; if your knee hurt, you'd go to the knee doctor, wouldn't you? So if your mind is in pain, visit someone who knows about helping people's minds feel better. Please.

And, in the end, no matter how lonely you may feel, remember this: Because you are a DUer, you are never alone.

You're one of us.

Your participation makes you a part of this wonderful community, and somebody will be here for you whenever you need someone to be. Trust me on this. I have not the slightest doubt that, were I in need, even the DUers with whom I have had the most bitter disagreements would rush to my aid.

I believe this. I do.

If even one of you finds even a small comfort from this post, I will consider the words to have been well worth writing.

Do not lose faith. Have hope. Give charity if you can, or accept it if you need.

And above all, be at peace.

That's my holiday wish for all.


Redstone

(Reposted from last year's post with minor modifications, because we've picked up new members this year, and it might help make one or a few of them feel better if they have the holiday blues.)
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:03 PM
Response to Original message
1. ...
I love you, Redstone. And thanks for this!

:hug:
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wovenpaint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. Thank you for this-it's beautiful
I want to recommend it!
I don't post a fraction of what I read, but DU makes my day-everyday. It's because of wise, wonderful and caring people such as yourself. I've learned alot, laughed alot and cried alot.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday! And this wish goes out to ALL DUers as well!
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
3. thank you
I will read, reread and read this again.


You are a rich man.

:hug:

aA
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:17 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. That I am. We could be living in a heatless shack, and I'd still be warm. And happy.
And rich in what really counts.

Redstone
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
5. this alone gives me hope
thank you for posting this redstone. thank you for sharing your words and your experience.

i am richer for having read this

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:18 PM
Response to Original message
6. If I had given up hope, I wouldn't have driven to the hospital back in July.
n/t


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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:23 PM
Response to Original message
7. My dear Redstone.........
I remember this from last year, and how good it is still......

These are timeless words, my dear....

Thank you for them!

K&R

Much love to you and your family.......and to all of us!
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
8. indeed Redstone
tomorrow always comes and blessings can be found where you least expect them

here's my heartfelt wishes for everyone of us to have a peaceful day and brilliant New Year
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. I wish you and yours the same.
Redstone
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 09:49 PM
Response to Original message
10. Thank you my friend...
I have been doing my best to avoid any sort of self-pity over my situation, which is nothing compared to most, and have been succeeding so far.

But thinking about myself is not what brings faith and hope. It is thru the helping others.

Faith without works is dead, so I've read...

Your words remind me how rich I am in so many ways.

thank you for this...

:hug:

RL
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. I know you've been on a roller-coaster ride.
Hold fast to the ups, and let the downs go. You must let them go.

Redstone
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lavenderdiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
11. your words will be a blessing to the many who will read them
and I thank you for sharing such a beautifully written letter to us. Thank you for reminding us what Christmas is really all about: loving one another. :hug:

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dropkickpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
12. Thank you!
:hug:
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Flaxbee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
14. thank you, Redstone
I remember this from last year, and thought it was wonderful and thoughtful and kind. This year it means even more, b/c we're having a really, really hard time with business, etc., and while I'm sure we'll get out of it, being in the middle of it is terrifying. Your words really help.

Peace to you and yours this holiday (and always).
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S n o w b a l l Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
15. Thank you Redstone
I read this thinking you were directly talking to me. It was exactly what I needed to hear today. So, from the bottom of my heart...thank you.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. If you're having a "Blue Christmas," I was indeed talking directly to you.
I've been there. And I cannot tell you how good it felt when I read your reply.

Because what more can any of us ask for, than to have been able to make someone else feel good?

I can't think of anything.

Redstone
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otherlander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
16. Beautiful words, Redstone. K&R.
:hug:
I've been one of the lucky ones, born into a good situation, and I have to remember that. And even if that doesn't lessen my own fears, there are still others who I can help. Even though this is a Lounge thread, the mods should make an exception and put it on the "Greatest" page. No. This should be on the FRONT PAGE.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:20 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Thank you. sounds like the "charity" part had meaning for you. And if anyone can find
some meaning in any part of my ramblings, I've done well.

The best of the holidays to you and yours.

Redstone
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:30 PM
Response to Original message
19. You are such a good person.
Edited on Sat Dec-23-06 11:30 PM by YellowRubberDuckie
We are lucky to have you among us. I have never seen the things you have seen, but I have friends and family who have. I've been lucky enough that I will never be homeless. You are a true survivor and are an example for us all. We love you Redstone. I hope you and your family have a very lovely holiday. You deserve it. Thank you for having a giving soul. :hug:
Duckie
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. YRD, you're a peach. Thank you so much for those words. But the pain is eating
my consciousness right now, so I have to go. But thank you again. Glad you liked it.

Redstone
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mwdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
21. Thanks, Redstone.
My avatar can give you an idea of what my year was like, but my kids are flying in tonight, and this will be the best Christmas ever, and the first celebrated in my home here in Texas.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. You had THAT kind of year? Dammit. I hope all worked out OK. I really do.
Redstone
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
22. Thank you.
Just, thank you.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. You're more than welcome. Looks like we won't be moving to Lancaster, at least
not until next summer.

We've pulled the house off the market, but will re-list it in the spring. If the Three Gables house is not still available, we'll find something else.

I still need to go home.

Redstone
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Man, do I hear you.
I'm hanging on by a thread here. Things happen in time's time.

Enjoy your family, Redstone. Have the BEST holiday ever.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. I will. And I hope you do as well.
Redstone
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 12:04 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. Good night, friend.
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
28. Before I got to the final line, I had recalled that you posted this last year -
I was moved enough that I've thought back upon that post when I've encountered difficult moments over the past year. I appreciate you re-posting this for those that didn't get a chance to read the first time around...
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merh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
29. (((( Redstone ))))
thank you.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, sweet friend. :hug:

:loveya:

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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
30. Thank you Redstone
I wasn't here last year so these words are new to me, but certainly touched my heart. Especially this part: "Depression is not anything to be ashamed of; if your knee hurt, you'd go to the knee doctor, wouldn't you?" as I prepare to see my extended family tomorrow evening knowing that they are all aware of my struggles with depression and anxiety, thanks to my big mouthed mother. I KNOW they all love me I KNOW they all care about me, but it will still be so so hard for me to sit there knowing I'm being watched and analyzed. What hurts even more is the fact that I asked, I pleaded, with my mother many months ago when I let her in on what I've been dealing with, I made her promise me she would only share that information with my father (because, well, he's my Daddy). But I really didn't want the rest of the family to know, as it would make me very uncomfortable. *sigh* Not only did she confide in the whole family, but also her friends, the neighbors, and I will bet you $100 I'm listed on her church prayer list.

I confronted her on it. She just won't hear me. I said "I ASKED you specifically NOT to say anything." She says "But everyone loves you and cares. You know it runs in the family." I said "That is not the point. I ASKED you to PLEASE keep it between you and dad." She just doesn't get the betrayal I feel about the whole thing. I'm not embarrassed per se. It's just that I visit these people 2-3 times a year, I feel social awkward enough around them all. Tomorrow night is going to be pure hell for me. It will be a miracle if I can stay sober.

But, I will try to let all that go and enjoy being with my family that I miss sooooo very much. My 101 year old Nana that I can't wait to see. All the children of my cousins. My two cousins who were like sisters to me growing up (since I only had my brother). My brother, of course and his family. I will try my hardest to treasure that time with them and get past my being uncomfortable that they know intimate details of my life. They love me, I love them. That is all that matters, right?
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. Your Nana's 101 years old? God bless her.
Redstone
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 01:10 AM
Response to Original message
31. great post
thanks. k & r
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haf216 Donating Member (911 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
33. Thank You
My mood has been bluer than usual this holiday season. You helped to remind me that I won't feel like this forever, things will get better. I hope you have wonderful holiday and a bright New Year.
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
34. Beautiful, Redstone... SImply beautiful..
Thank you and Merry Christmas. You provide the gift of hope that lies within your words... I was very touched reading them. Many thanks.
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
35. Thank you, Redstone
I remember it from last year.

Hope is often a fleeting thing. I know it has been for me lately.

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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
36. Redstone...
Merry Christmas. I think those of us who have struggled the most often appreciate the good times all the more.
I hope your words reach someone who is really hurting tonight. I know someone has always been there for me when I
thought I was running out of hope. It makes all the difference.
:hug:
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
37. Thank you Redstone...
..someday I'll tell you how much it helped. :hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-24-06 11:43 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. To hear that it helped you, specifically...that makes me more than happy.
Makes me feel that I've done something of worth.

Be at peace, if you can.

Redstone
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-25-06 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
39. Beautiful, Redstone, this is so beautiful.

You have a heart of gold and a spirit that
transcends pain, suffering and despair.

I know you've been there, I can hear it
in your words. You speak to parts of my
past and feelings that haunt me at times.

No doubt, you have helped many people
with your sage advice.

A very Merry Christmas to you and your son.
May the New Year be a great one.

:hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-25-06 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. That was a very touching reply. Thank you. May you and yours enjoy as well.
Redstone
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-25-06 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
41. beautiful, Redstone
Thanks.
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