I really don't know how much more I can take.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

Mr. DTBK and I CONSTANTLY pick on each other and are arguing almost daily over SERIOUS stuff (money, his desire to socialize vs. my desire to be a hermit). Is it the 11-year itch? I'm beside myself and don't know what to do.

[miss_american_pie]

1. ...

:hug:

[ChickMagic]

2. Maybe couples therapy?

You each need your own interests and trying to force your
SO into your interest and vice versa just ain't gonna make
for good feelings. Oh, and :hug:

[EFerrari]

3. This time of year is stressful for families.

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

4. No advice

believe me....just hugs :hug:

[Dora]

5. Get thee to therapy.

Mr. D and I just had a few rounds with a therapist. We went in once a month, probably had 5 visits in all. Things are much better now.

We didn't talk about our issues in therapy, we talked about how we talk to each other. That's where we needed the help. The stuff we had been arguing about was the little stuff AND the big stuff, and each time it devolved into the SAME argument. Therapy gave us a way to change our communication strategies.

[crim son]

6. Therapy works because some people simply are not willing

to see things from a spouse's perspective. The neutral third party helps this happen. I would try it first before despairing, and if he won't go, go on your own. :hug:

[NC_Nurse]

7. I agree that some therapy could really help.

There may be some issues behind the arguments that are the real problems. That's often the case with "picking on each other".
A good therapist can help that out and help you each get more of what you want.

[Bullwinkle925]

8. Jeez, Sis -

I'm sorry to hear this. How serious?

[SPKrazy]

9. Don't Know About 11 year itch

it does sound like it's hard

do what you got to do before it gets worse.

don't sweep it under the rug, or blow it off.

:hug:

[Maestro]

10. Mr. and Mrs. Maestro

went through a very stressful time at about the same time. We had been together about 11 years, married about 7 at the time. She had just given birth to our son. She suffered from postpartum depression and became very sick (cancer). We just weren't focused on each other. She went as far as as made plans to leave me, setting up a different bank account, etc....But in the end we really talked and we worked it out. She went to counseling. I went once. I honestly couldn't stand the lady. Anyhow, we got it worked out. Communication is the key. Give and take and compromise is also the key along with time to yourselves.